HILLS HOOD

Thailand 2012: The rise of The Gunner

2012-01-31T02:26:00.000+08:00

So I recently got back from Thailand for the second time in 11 months. This trip was much different from last year's, but that doesn't mean it wasn't as good. So much shit went down ranging from the good to the terrible.

First night pre-drinks at Mexican place

Perhaps the most interesting thing to come out of the trip, was the emergence of a personality, so irrepressible that even a country as vast and magical as Thailand struggled to handle. This bigger than life personality had been witnessed by many on a much smaller scale; glimpses of such amazing talent which few believed could be mastered and taken to a level far beyond the normal boundaries of reality. The man who many refer to as "Swagger" or "BB Gunner" took slut hunting to a whole new level. Personally, I felt a bit uncomfortable and unworthy whenever in The Gunner's presence. This is understandable considering the outrageous amount of girls the great man managed to seduce during the two-week slut-hunt, with his unmatchable charm and outrageous swagger. Anyway, back to the story.

The Gunner's swagger was unprecedented; he put the local, black MC from Seduction to shame. So much swagger and so much charisma, The Gunner was in a world of his own. The Gunner was in such good form that he spent more time in the room next door with the three girls, than with any of us... he must have been tired ;). He even embarrassed Quattro in front of the crew during a nice sit down meal where he meticulously tore Quattro's assertion about soccer to pieces. I guess he should have known better than to question the great man's unrivalled sporting intellect. How can one man know so much? The Gunner even put on a show for the locals by demonstrating his sexual prowess on the beach one night, which he performed on an unnamed beauty. I imagine it must have been quite a spectacle.

Is this the beach where it happened??

You might be thinking "Gee, you are spending a long time talking about this 'Gunner' character, how about you go back to Ant's Asians?", the fact of the matter is, most of this trip revolved around the infamous character. He was the star attraction. Basically, he made us look cool!

AFT for the win! #swackin'

Tuesday the 27th of September - The Arrival
This year's crew was much the same as last year's, with one exception: JC "The Smooth Operator" had been replaced by an eager newcomer, Corey "The Chest" Johnson. "The Smooth Operator" had been an early withdrawal from the lineup due to his plumbing commitments, I hear they are going very well. There was one more twist to this already dubious adventure.... Two newcomers: "The Man in the Mirror" and "Quattro". Two of Lesmurdie's finest agreed to join the team halfway through our holiday to give us some much needed firepower. A total of seven all-stars in one location, in one hotel... things could get messy. And messy they did... or did they??

So the first night was somewhat different to last year's (click here), even though we tried our best to replicate that fateful first night. Firstly, we arrived mid afternoon as opposed to the evening and this time it was a Tuesday and not a wild and lively Saturday. The start of the first night was probably one of the most controversial starts to a trip on record. It involved an intense stand-off which I was one of the involved parties. I won't go into detail but it was intense but it was amicably resolved after much discussion. Anyway, back to the action.

Vodka & Cigars

New rooms side-by-side-by-side, cigars and vodka on the balcony with INNA playing in the background. The pool was illuminated which added to the ambiance, but one thing was missing this time, which personally, had a very profound affect on me. It just so happened that all three of our rooms were located along the bottom side of a U-like hotel floor plan; this meant that unlike last time, we were unable to peep into other people's rooms which were facing us. When we looked straight ahead from our room we were looking at palm trees on the outskirts of the pool courtyard. I was personally devastated. I got such an adrenaline rush from spying on hot girls getting changed in their hotel rooms last year, especially during pre-drinks and before the pre-vodka bar cocktail energy drink skull-off. Holy fuck it sucked!

So for the whole trip I didn't manage to spy on any hot girls walking around their hotel rooms naked, or being able to shoot people in the face with our lasers, or being able to prank fuckheads with shit haircuts while they were getting intimate with their girlfriends. Back to the story. After the usual religious pre-drink ritual, we went to the Vodka Bar next to Starbucks for LIITs or whatever fruity cocktails they had on offer. 30 mins later run down Bangla Rd and to the Margharitaville Bar for Chesty's first ever Barrel. "The Chest" practically ate the barrel. I assume most of the alcohol was stored in his enormous chest for later use like camels do. The dude has a big chest hahaha. We were all pretty drunk by this stage so it was finally time. The place we had been waiting 11 months to come back and visit. The place where boys became men and legends were made. SEDUCTION

SEDUCTION DISCOTEQUE
For me, Seduction is probably my favourite nightclub at the moment; way better than Capitol or any other club in Perth. This is probably for the simple fact that when we go to Seduction we are obviously all on holiday, in a foreign country and looking to hunt sluts and drink as many LIITs and energy drinks as we can. The place is amazing! I'm pretty sure Ant had something to do with this, but when we got in there, it was like we were VIP. We had out own little female Thai bartender (she was kind of cute), our own Muay Thai Bouncer and our own token gay guy (I wasn't a big fan of this guy... ask Sully). But yeah, Seduction was awesome.

I had just completed my Master's degree and was pretty keen to let loose on this trip, to make up for all those days and nights where I only ate carrots, potatoes and eggs because I didn't have a job to buy food. So my plan for the first night was, to just find a nice, easy girl who was attractive enough and to get the ball rolling. From what I recall, Seduction just wasn't happening for me so I consulted my fellow slut hunter 'punji' and decided to make an unnoticed exit and head to the notorious Hollywood discoteque, which is a favourite of the locals.

I had no intentions of hooking up with any Thai or Asian girls, I was merely hoping that there might have been one or two diamonds in the rough (Caucasian girls). I was right! Three Australian girls. Somehow, "The Chest" appeared out of nowhere and was dancing with one of them which left the other two alone at the table. One of the two I really, really wasn't keen on... the other one... well I guess I was pretty drunk haha, anyway she was a nice girl :P. So I started talking to the nice, petite Adelaide girl (I think she was from Adelaide?) enter Swagger. The Swagger comes out of nowhere and aggressively tries to pull the robbery on the two beauties, this may have been a blessing in disguise. Nek minnit the Swagger and the grenade are going at it :O I am pretty drunk and don't seem to notice how average Gunner's girl actually is, but she was a doozy!

The Gunner and The Chest in action

Oh shit

Anyway, I went in for the kill on the little sweety, so I ate a glow stick and pulled out a crafty Dutch manouver. I tried to kiss her with the glow stick liquid in my mouth but she pulled back and shut me down with the old "'I have a boyfriend" trick.

So we're all in Hollywood, we're all drunk. Corey is with the prawn, Gunner is hooking up with the least attractive of the three girls, Sully I'm pretty sure was just dancing and Ant was seducing one of the locals and becoming very intimate with her haha. So I'm still with the friend because she has no one else to be with and there are no other white girls for me to victimize. I'm being nice with her but my hunting instincts kicked in. I just ran off out the club and down the escalators as I realised time was running out to find a girl for the night. I probably would have just about hooked up with any white girl at this point as long as she had a decent face and wasn't fat (who am I kidding? I would have probably hooked up with a fat girl too hahaha). I ran back to the place which had brought us so much success last year, SEDUCTION. Upstairs was open, I'm by myself. It's getting late and a few girls still left but the majority of revellers were guys. I'm dancing by myself on the dance floor to see if any girls come up to me... no luck. But that doesn't stop me, I'm so committed to finding a girl by myself and being able to lick her face.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I grab a cigarette (I had never smoked a cigarette in my life until this point) and proceed to smoke it on the outskirts of the dance floor. Eventually I see this blonde girl who looks like she might be 'dtf' material, I wait till she walks past then I casually offer her a drag like a true Slut hunter. She accepts haha. I use the cigarette to get closer and closer to her face, then Bang! I'm in. The crafty Dutchman has actually pulled off a high level slut hunting technique to seduce the buxom Brit.

After hooking up with girl for awhile I am eventually cock-blocked by her fat and jealous friend who clearly suffered from a case of FBS, anyway I went home soon after semi-content but not fully-satisfied. I am surprised to find zero girls in my hotel room when I get back; Corey tells me that his girl wasn't interested in coming back for and the Gunner's girl chose food over him. Ant is missing though and does not return until lunch the next day. Go figure haha.

Phuket Beach Rd on a wet night

Wednesday 28th - Saturday 1st of October
The next couple of nights were pretty stock standard I guess? We all just GTL'd and did the usual routine every night. Ant did a few more Thai girls. There were a few more arguments. Sully and I broke into the room next door and befriended the three girls there haha. We even showed them the ropes one night and went to a Ping Pong show which was amazing! One of the girls was mesmerized by Corey's chest and they ended up locking themselves in my room that night :O.. what went down I never want to know! That same night, "The Gunner" slept in the girl's room with the other two girls... I'm not sure what happened but one thing's for sure, Gunner slipped back into his room in the still of the night with only his boxers on ;).

The Saturday was actually a pretty amazing day for two (or maybe three) reasons:
1. The AFL Grand Final was broadcast on one of the channels we could watch from our rooms :D so we didn't have to get up early and go to the Aussie Bar. This was pretty amazing, literally no one was in the pool the whole afternoon whilst the GF was on. It was awesome and I won't forget.
2. Ant finally showed us the mythical Russian strip club for the first time, 'Moulin Rouge'. The place is like heaven; hot eastern European hotties who obviously had never seen a burger in their lives. I didn't want to tip them since I was being a Jew but they forced it out of me anyway. They were that good haha. They were pretty hot but that wasn't the best part... they played INNA! Not just INNA but all these Russian, Ukrainian and Romanian DJs whom we'd never really heard of. Ant, Sully and C.C Chest, all fell in love; there was Anja, Mila and Corey's one (her name I'll never know), I'll just call her John. These three Cleopatra's of the Siberian Wilderness were all remarkably loyal, except for John whom I spotted with another man recently when I stalked the Seduction club photos on one of my daily Facebook stalk sessions. Sorry Chesty.

Bird stayed home that night but the four of us had an amazing time in Russia :P

Sunday 2nd - Monday 10th: The Two Saiyans Touchdown
The two legends; "Quattro" and "Mirror man" touched down Sunday morning, and made a very impressionable entrance. Gunner made sure he was up early and greeted them on arrival and showed them the ropes like how to pick up girls and also the shortest way to the pool (even though the pool was only 10m's away hahaha). That night, the two soldiers had their first barrels.. what happened next, I'll never forget. Haha nah that night was pretty tame I think?.. I did have a pretty serious conversation with the Gunner that night though, but after that we went home. Will fucken destroyed everyone at Seduction in a tricky drinking challenge, but I think that might have been another night? Even Todd Carney's dusty rat pack were no match for the Mirror Man.

Mirror fucking Man killing it

The second week was pretty sick (pun lol), we did a fair bit of shopping and we all spent some quality time together haha :). I found out that my parents had picked up my Masters degree so I was pretty stoked and got pretty drunk (surprise surprise). A part from going out and getting pretty drunk every night, we did a fair bit of shopping and went to the beach and stuff (wow, exciting). We fucked around on scooters which was awesome fun, I jacked it, we also ate most days which is always an interesting experience. Sully and Ant spent most of the second week with their Russian girls at their strip club.What else happened? Quattro got down and dirty down an alleyway with one of our next door neighbours (the same one Corey rooted hahahaha), classy girl. I caught yellow fever (her name was Braceface). I thought she was 14 but turns out she was 28 (lol), she was the cutest girl in Thailand, but she made funny noises.

Braceface and friend

I think punji probably had sex with another Thai girl or two but he was spending most of his time at the Russian strip club so he might not have had time? Sully also spent a lot of his time in the back room or alleyway of Moulin Rouge with Anja (she was smoking) hahah. Chesty had a bit of an infection (get it... it's a pun) and was out of action for a couple of tough days like myself. I was really sick for a couple of days all because I kept going to Subway on the way home from Seduction, I think it was actually probably just Karma for being nice enough to give my time to a seedy pommie welfare worker... he told me there was a Starbucks down the road but it ended up being his hotel room.

I figured out what was going on round about this time but went along with it so I had somewhere to eat my sub. After finishing my Italian BMT I turned around and saw the seedy fuck laying right behind me, sprawled out on his bed in just his jocks. I started to get pretty angry at this point as I have had experienced numerous encounters like this before, whereby guys pretend to be nice to you when you are severely drunk or incapacitated, only to try and grab your dick. Luckily, just like this time, my high level Saiyan abilities kicked in and I realised he was a dirty jew who was into cock. I faked the Jew out and used 'Instant Transmission' to warp to the door of his room. He then said "Where are you going?" (poor guy thought he was getting some action that night), I really got angry once I worked out how to open the door and forcefully shouted "I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING YOU DIRTY FUCKING J*W CUNT!!! DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TRY THIS SHIT ON ME AGAIN OR I WILL FUCKING HIT YOU WITH A FUCKING BRICK!!!" And then I ran.

Seduction

I'm running out of things to write about. Seduction was awesome. Quattro was picking up girl's left, right and centre. Mirror Man brought some much needed of class to the Special Forces. I'm sure loads of other stuff happened but I am running out of ideas.

The new & improved lobby at Banthai

So the trip was pretty awesome a part from a few heated arguments here and there. A new legend was born, "The Gunner" - The man who became God. The hotel was being renovated for the most part which blocked off parts of the hotel and prevented stalking for a few sneaky individuals, hopefully if we ever go back ;) it will be up and running and free trade will once again be established between the opposing sides of the hotel. All this writing has gotten me thinking about travelling again for another sneaky adventure. Something tells me Phuket might be on the cards for one last time... let's just say I have some unfinished business :P
Until next time.

Phuket - The first night

2011-07-04T04:43:00.004+08:00

October 23rd 2010
5:30PM
We're landing 40 minutes, we all start to wake up. Our first trip together outside of Australia without any parents, just the boys. We all start getting excited, Sully starts fucking around with everyone's tv screens on the back of the seats, we're all so buzzed. We look out the windows and see islands covered with lush vegetation, lovely turquoise water. Holy shit we're nearly in Thailand! Haha. We touchdown just after 6PM, it is overcast, warm and humid. We can't wait to get to the hotel.

It takes a little while to find pens to fill in our arrival cards, get through customs fine without any jittery moments like I experienced in Perth (just the usual dropping all my shit everywhere, hitting my knee on the conveyor belt, trying to take my belt off without my shorts falling down). We're through customs and officially in Phuket, we're so fucking ecstatic! Okay, this is where Mr Organised (Ant), starts to kick arse and show us how valuable an asset he is at getting shit sorted (unlike someone like myself who leaves everything to the last minute).

At the front of the airport it is chaotic, however, Ant finds the taxi driver easily, we chuck our shit in the back and jump in the van. Fuck Yeah! At this time the sun has just set and we only have about 10 minutes before it gets dark. If you have been anywhere in south-east Asia who are obviously familiar with their crazy, erratic driving and their lack of respect for road rules, like I care if he drives on the wrong side of the highway. We all start talking about what the hell is going to happen tonight...are we going to get girls?...if so how many?...do they sell Long Island Iced Teas?...and am I going to do something stupid and end up in Jail? Bird gives us some tips as he had already been to Patong before a couple of years prior, with a former romance.

I am very carsick like always and I am starting to get a little apprehensive. My mum, dad, brother and practically everyone else I know told me before I came "Scott, just don't go wondering off by yourself like you always do and like you did in Europe, just stay with your friends and you'll be fine." We finally get into Patong Beach, HOLY FUCK! The beach is gorgeous, there are lights, noise and people everwhere and fireworks are going off every 5 seconds.This is going to be a crazy, fucking night!

7:30PM
BanThai mother fucker! We're there, right on the beach, in our hotel, the atmosphere is so electric. Ant sorts everything out at the reception and somehow Bird, Sully and my room has been upgraded to a deluxe suite for the night! Team meeting - Ant and Jnr go to your room, get ready then come to ours and we'll head out, okay locked in. So we walk to our room across this pool and as we do we pass a few nice girls....predator mode has started. We get to our pimped room and start going nuts: strip down and put on robes, jump on beds, throwing shit and general shouting.

8PM
Ant & Jnr rock up to our room "What the fuck???? How much have you guys had!" We were so buzzed we hadn't even drank anything just started going crazy and throwing all the beds everywhere. We start smashing down Ant's duty-free black-label Johnnie Walker, we drink a fair bit then head out. Grab pizza at pizza shop next to maccas, then go to vodka bar out the front of Bat Thai and start drinking the one and only Long Island Iced Teas.

Vodka Bar

9PM
Fireworks are going off everywhere, locals trying to sell us everything from chicken porn to cocaine and there seems to be some hot girls around. We go walking for a bit checking out the scenery, eventually we find the coolest road ever, Bangla Rd.

Bangla Rd

Bangla Road is basically the main road in Patong where everything happens. There are locals everywhere trying to sell you everything and anything, endless amounts of nightclubs and bars, and tourists like us everywhere. We walk up and down checking it out and eventually decide to get a drink at the Aussie Bar. More LIITs but eventually we start to get pissed off at each other because we still haven't found a nightclub. We leave and decide to go looking for nightclubs again.

We walk to the end of Bangla Road with no obvious ideas of where we are going to go. At the very end of Bangla Road is a pub called "Rock City" (basically like the Newport in Freo). We go in there, realise that it is in fact not a nightclub but start to drink a bit more and get a bit looser. Eventually we leave, a little disappointed and walk back down Bangla Road, left onto Phuket Beach Road passed our hotel and then turn around and back the way we came.

Everyone starts arguing with each other and clearly getting pissed off because we haven't found a nightclub yet. Ant suggests a nightclub from a flyer/ticket that he was given by a club promoter on Bangla Rd earlier on. I'm not sure if the others actually agreed with him, I don't remember what was said otherwise my night might have been a lot easier.

We start walking up, pushing threw crowds of people on Bangla Rd again when I decide to shake things up a bit. It went something like this.
"I'm going back to the hotel to chuck a shit. I'll meet up with you guys later."
"But you won't be able to find us??"
And then I left...

I briskly walked back to the hotel, went to the bathroom to freshen up and then thought to myself. "What the fuck do I do now?!?"
In these situations (which occur quite regularly), I always start by smashing down some alcohol or energy drinks to clear my mind. There was still a bit of Black label left on the side table so I downed a healthy dose.
My power began to surge, my veins flowed with pure energy, I started to power up and the windows started to shake! I used this power to teleport back out the front of the hotel and my hunt began.

Close to 11PM
I hustled back up Phuket Beach Road with my newly found energy (intoxicated) and quickly found a nightclub. Banana Bar Discoteque, I eagerly made my way in and looked for any signs of the boys, no luck, so I downed another smokey or two. I rounded the corner to Bangla Road and quickly located another nightclub. White Party! What a club. About the size of my bedroom and the drinks there are very suspect. Still no sign. Down the next side arcades I fought through the ladyboys and found an escalator which gave me hope. I was so confident this was the place. My journey was about to end....or was it?? Yes! No! Hollywood Patong Discoteque (please speak to Anant if you want to know what this club is like). It was Chinatown. The nightclub was big and comparable with the likes of Metros Freo (only one story though), the drinks were good also, however, there was only one problem.... THEY WERE ALL ASIAN!!! Don't get me wrong, I very much like Asians (by Asians I mean Thai girls (or boys?) and seedy old caucasian men), but I was not looking for an Asian encounter that night. I left and looked everywhere on Bangla Rd. I went down every single little side arcade and was man-handled by all the Thai Ladyboys. It is actually a little bit scary because there are so many of them and they grab you and try to force you to sit down but I managed to bust my way out of them and make it back to Bangla Rd.

I'm not sure what the exact time was but I decided to quickly go back to the hotel and check for any signs of them. When I arrived back in the room and was disappointed to find no one, I decided to leave a note for them in case they were looking for me. If I was sober at this point I would have assessed the situation and narrowed the boys' current whereabouts to a predominantly Western nightclub, which was close and I had yet to find. But because I was drunk I decided to repeat my previous actions and continue to look in the clubs I already had been in. I did this probably twice more, going into everyone of these clubs, having a drink and then moving on. At the end of each cycle I would come back to the hotel room and check for any reply to my letter.

About 230AM
After about my third or possibly fourth cycle, I was shocked to find two of our three beds occupied in our room. There were no girls in the beds which also surprised me.
"Bird is that you?"
"yeah"
"Where the fuck were you guys?? Did you read my note and find the gimp hat I left for you?? Where are the others??"
"Jnr is sitting with some Russian bitch on a wall at the beach, I have no idea where Ant is."
Bird and Sully were both tired and a bit perturbed and did not look they were keen to get up and join my search for the other two, so I left and went solo.

I was still very surprised about Jnr's current status and was also still very keen to find a slut for myself. My standards were lowering with every passing minute so I treked on down to the beach to see if I could pull off a miracle and find at least one of the two. The beach was fucking dodgy; filled with locals trying to sell you drugs, fireworks and their sisters, prostitutes, and also lots of young, drunken revellers like myself. The view from the beach was amazing; it is a very long stretch of coast (a couple of kms) with white sand, enclosed at both ends with land coming out at both ends (I don't know what you call it, a bay??). The moon was also very bright, it just felt so amazing. I searched all through the beach without even a sign of JC "the Smooth Operator", I came to some limestone wall at the end so I followed it up away from the water. As I looked up about 40 metres in front of me was a group of drunken people centered around this skinny looking girl and taller more muscular guy, I made my way towards them as they all turned and stared at me.

"Do you know this guy (dodgy russian accent)?"
".....Holy Shit! Dutch, WTF?!?"
LOL! I had finally found Jnr and he was hooking up with this pretty hot Russian. He was shocked that the dodgy looking guy walking out from the shadows was actually me. The first time we had seen each other in about 5-6 hours. I tried to talk to Jnr but he was clearly more interested in smutting Exxxxxx Rxxxxxx (she's gonna get a shock if she ever Googles her name). I talked to their Russian friends, they were nice, tried to make headway with one of Evgenia's friends but seems she was more interested in conversation than the things that I wanted to do with her, I just wasn't willing to put in that effort to get her to that stage. Eventually the Russians left for their hotel as I headed back to Bangla Rd to find the remaining member of our group.

330 - 4AM
I looked everywhere for Sandy but no luck. Everyone was starting to head home so I decided to cut my losses and head home for some much needed rest. Phuket Beach Rd was fairly quiet now, as I looked up I noticed a couple walking in the same direction as me, about 15metres in front. Jnr...fuck! It was Jnr and his Russian, they already thought I was a bit creepy after I appeared by myself from the shadows on the beach, I didn't want to confirm their perceptions by following them back to the hotel. I had to keep hiding behind buildings n shit so they wouldn't notice me following them. I hid behind one and this old lady started talking to me, then two ladyboys grabbed me, this was intense. Either get raped by Ladyboy's or creep the fuck out of Jnr and his Russian! I held for another 10 seconds or so but was forced to break free and sprint across the other side of the road.

I broke their strong man-like grips on my arms and just ran for it in my thongs, they were fucking strong and quick too. Everyone was watching, Jnr and the Russian, startled by all the commotion turned around to see what was going on. L O L.
"DUTCH?? ....Run Dutch they're gaining on you!"
They were so much faster than me running in thongs, they kept chasing me but luckily the crafty Dutchman who has been chased many-a-time, managed to get away. So I walked back to the hotel with Jnr and his girl (awkward) and then went to bed.

4-430AM
The door knocked.
"Knock, knock" (that's what a door knock sounds like).
I was expecting Noonty or possibly the hotel staff to complain to us for being drunken yobbos when we first arrived but this I was not expecting..... Jnr and Russian. Jnr needed some CDs (understandable). Pretty sure Bird and Sully were pissed off for the disturbance.

5 MINUTES LATER
"Knock, knock."
......NOONTY!!! Hahaha it was the Punjabi Prince!
"Jnr is rooting some Russian bitch in my room so I'm staying the fuck away from there!"
"Do you wanna go for a walk?"
"Yes."
So I had finally rendezvoused with every single one of the team finally after 7 hours. Ant and I were still pretty pumped. Noonty told me about his crazy night as we went back to some Slovakian girls apartment and things got steamy. Very interesting night indeed. Basically the two of us went to the beach with some QLD boys who were carrying around one of those foam eskies of random chick drinks. We all got smashed on the beach and bought fuckloads of fireworks. Noonty has videos of this :)

Eventually we called it a night at about 630 in the morning after such a random night. I later found out that the four of them found this sick, westerner nightclub on Bangla Rd right after I left them all that time ago, and spent the whole night there. Every night was like this whilst I was there for my 8 nights, it was fucking sick, so many more crazy and controversial stories, we all had a blast (even if there was a bit of tension at times), Ant took a fuck load of pictures and best of all..... WE'RE GOING BACK ON SEPTEMBER 27!!!!! Possibly with a couple more people, Jnr is out due to work commitments which is a shame as he adds a different dynamic to the group. Don't worry Jnr, there will be more trips like this while we are all still young!

HH back in business

2010-12-06T19:54:00.001+08:00

Europe!

The time has come to finally make the great journey to the continent where medieval stuff actually took place (swords and castles and stuff). As it's usually a bitch to get this sort of event organised, I thought I'd get proceeding rolling. So far, by the sounds of thing, we've already had a few disappointing responses from members of the hills community, with Jim's excuse quite obviously being a cover up for him basically being married and finding that the whip has a very sharp sting. That leaves a small number of possible candidates from the HillsHood section of society who are keen and interested in this upcoming adventure. I for one am dead keen to get this locked in, as it will give me something to look forward to while driving haul trucks (surely one of the world's most boring jobs, just ask Trav) as well as allowing plenty of time for my leave to be booked in for, which is critical for getting time off it seems. Trav has also expressed a high level of interest, and while I can never be sure with Diji, it appears he is also planning to hop along for the ride. This leaves space for possible inclusions such as Lodge, who has also expressed an interest in travelling to the Northern Hemisphere once again.

Anyway, I have been doing a fair bit of research into the subject, and while I can't see the future, I believe that the dates I have used for scoping and costing are pretty decent, as they are during the uni break and mean that I only have to take 1 swing off to achieve the time outlined below.

Anyway we shall start off with flights, as they are a pretty critical part of the trip. Currently the best flights are with Malaysian airlines, which from memory aren't too bad an airline. The total cost for flights to London and back ends up being just under $1800 which is outlined below. The dates I have selected are mostly to allow myself to get back from site, sleep and pack before departing, while also arriving in London at the start of a day, which saves on a night's accommodation. The return trip is also from London, and gets back to Perth at 3pm on the Tuesday.

There are obviously other options with flights, like air Asia, which can be quite cheap if you buy your tickets in segments, although there isn't as much certainty about the flight times, losing baggage and you don't get meals or luggage included in the flight costs. In saying that, air Asia's premium class have beds and all the perks of the standard airlines first class at a similar cost to that of flying Qantas ($2000). I have looked at this as it would be good to get some sleep done on the flight, but the days which air Asia fly to Paris are not very suited to the dates I was looking at.

Anyway, onto the next topic, the holiday itself….

I propose we undertake a Contiki, as this takes care of all the accommodation and a lot of meals and travel for the trip. It will also stick us with other young'uns to make sure we aren't trying to kill each other by the end of the trip. Below is the dates and costs of one of the Contiki's which I feel would be rather swell. http://contiki.com.au/tours/119-european-impressions/itinerary

The price shown above can be reduced by around 200 bucks if we book before the 23^rd of December this year, and if the general consensus is to change the dates, Cathay pacific are offering a deal up until the 23^rd of December for flights until the 18^th of June to be 1689 return from Perth.

Anyway the Contiki trip is up for debate, both where it goes, how long to do it for, and there are other things like bus about, which gives you a bit more freedom for where you go which I haven't had a good look at yet.

Using the 18 day contiki as a guide, there is a 2-3 day gap in the UK at the start, and 3 days at the end, which can be used for a bit relaxation. Alternately we could choose a different Contiki and spend a few days in the Greek islands before heading home.

Hills Hood - The End?

2010-11-25T03:12:00.001+08:00

The title pretty much sums up this post; Hills Hood is done. Only a few noble members of the illustrious Hills Hood street gang even view this site, let alone contribute to it. What was once a thriving and lively online community, is a now a dull and uneventful snapshot of what used to be. This hurts me deeply, as I was a proud Hood representative who felt honoured to be a part of such a great group of talented individuals (and animal). The demise of the Hills Hood has been a gradual process. I have tried often to keep the HH spirit alive but it seems my efforts have fallen on deaf ears. I see no point in living out this fantasy any longer. HILLS HOOD IS DONE!

Many of the Hills Hood originals now have romantic interests in their lives. Such a committment seems too overpowering for even the sacred waters of Hidden Creek to withstand. Whether or not Wedge will take place in a couple of weeks is irrelevant. It is obvious, through the passage of time, that the fire which once burned within everyone of us, and bound us together, has burnt out. This is the end of Hills Hood. Goodbye and God bless.

Yours sincerely,
Dutch (Former Hood boy)

Spring + Hidden Creek = Girls (Kalgoorlie Cup special)

2010-08-19T15:13:00.003+08:00

I hate Winter so thank fuck it's nearly over! Only 12 more days of this shit left after today, then it's Spring, and Kal Cup time. So all the good shit starts once Winter finishes i.e. Kal Cup, Thailand, Wedge, Hidden Creek, good weather etc. Hidden Creek season pretty much coincides with the end of Winter; some people even refer to Spring as HCS (Hidden Creek Season). I know I do, at least I will now.

So Kalgoorlie Cup '10 is on September the 18th, it's going to be a big weekend for all parties involved. Last year Goat only saw a couple of hours of sunlight during the eventful weekend, the poor kid had come down with Bear-itis. It's a tragic disease which affects all of us at one stage or another. Anyway, I doubt that our favourite farm animal will come down with the virus anytime soon, and he is very keen to make up for last year's lack of activity. Good on ya bro.

Kalgoorlie Cup always makes for a very messy, loose weekend; this year will be no exception. Even more so because there is going to be 20 - 30 people staying in the one house (maybe it's two). The drive there and back will be shit, Bird will be DJ-ing and Jim will be eating dirty, seafood subs which will make for an interesting combination. One of the major talking points of this year's trip has been Goat and his recent pimpage and anti-Jewness. Will he continue this carefree and reckless trend? I think so. I am really look forward to seeing Goat and the crew in action, in a town where anything goes...except for stealing kegs, that is a no-no! However, if Trav does go down that path once again, it must be filmed. Junior has also pulled out due to work commitments.

I am driving down on Thursday, Bird has shotgun, Jim has a guaranteed spot if he wants. Goat can come if he brings a girl.

Curtin Oktoberfest has been cancelled, I am really pissed off. Very controversial. We will have to find a proxy to fill in for this absence on the calendar.

Hidden Creek AGM is coming up again, probably sometime after Kal Cup when everyone is present. Export will be provided, strippers possibly.

Thailand is next on the agenda in late October. This will be very, insanely crazy especially the first night! Mum has warned me about the men whom look like ladies, this is a very frightening reality. So no Thai girls PERIOD.

Wedge is going to happen towards the end of the year and this one is going to be a bigg'un.
Definites:
- Myself
- Trav
- Bird
- Goat (semi-Jew, but no longer Jew)
- Lodge
- Jim
- Biggles

Likelys:
- Jane
- Laura

Possibles:
- Junior (for the tenth time)
- Ant
- Beck
- John (could be anyone)

Pretty much the only reason I go to Wedge.

Wedge only takes like 25 minutes to get to from Lancelin now, so no more random two hour bush-bashing expeditions.

The Rise and Rise of the 'Ultra Pimp'

2010-07-05T16:25:00.005+08:00

So it is well overdue for a blog on the hillshood site. Some members are letting their fellow members down with false promises of blogs since February. Not naming any names... T-man. This blog chronicles the rise of a certain member, from the elegantly termed ‘Oompa Loompas’ to the equally elegant term ‘Ultra Pimp’ status.

Years and years ago in what seems like a distant past, a young man (with a particularly red neck) was gallivanting around the beautiful hub of Perth, Northbridge. He was a man that had yet acquired the taste of a good woman. He was on the prowl searching for a woman who would be up to the challenge. What he didn’t know was that he’d get more than he bargained for. He stumbled across the striking Deen dance floor and seemed to have made a connection with a particular girl. It was one for the ages, a momentous ‘eye f*****g’, his eyes were nearly popping out of his head.

She was moving: check, she was drunk: check, she has breasts: check. All three of the prerequisites were well and truly covered. So he casually moved closer in for a more detailed inspection. She notices this, and also moves closer. Before he knows it their hands are all over each other, grinding with the disregard of a rugby league player. He eventually ends up passionately, and intimately embracing her and all of her ‘inner’ beauty (it had to be inner because it sure wasn’t outer). While this is happening we all stand in disbelief about what has happened in what seemed like 2 seconds. A member of the illustrious Hillshood had reached new lows, hit rock bottom. We concluded that we would let it pass this time, but if it happened again we would be obliged to hold an intervention. Subsequently it would happen numerous times since. We never got around to that intervention… The most interesting case nearly ended up in a ‘St. Kilda’ like rape with an indigenous fellow by the stylish name of Garry.

Well enough about the past, as they say you learn from failures rather than success. In that case he’s a very wise man. I for one cannot judge as I’ve had similar if not a worse case of the deteriorative, degenerate disease of ‘Oompa Loompitice,’ I’m quite Rusty. Moving on a few years, in a distant mining town about 600.88 kms from Perth, he has begun dating a rather attractive young lady. This came out of nowhere cause he met her on the Garry night so what he did to impress her beats me and most probably himself. One thing that is certain once he got this female, he was going to do everything in his power to keep her thus maintain his new found status of ‘Ultra Pimp’. Examples of this are; going on a romantic getaway instead of seeing Thai ladies shoot ping pong balls out of a certain orifice (similar to Senior), no longer ‘JJI’; he saves himself for the intimate moment when the sheets are pulled over (similar to a particular furry farm animal), and finally showing his extremely brute, masculine side by getting reported in footy. What he’s doing seems to be working because he is now the envy of all of the fellow members. I myself look up to him and often find myself thinking ‘what would he do’. I ask for tips but he says ‘it just comes natural’ thus leaving me feeling despondent. But I also know that I cannot compare myself to such an ‘Ultra Pimp,’ levels of this magnitude of pimpage have only ever been achieved before by Wilt Chamberlain and Jeff Brown; two gods of the Pimp game. I’ve included a before and after pic below as evidence to prove the levels of improvement.

Before:

After:

I’ll conclude by saying, if she says she's into bondage, don't show her your financial portfolio, God Bless and Good Luck.

Cherry Popped

2010-04-13T14:16:00.000+08:00

So the time has come for me to get my cherry popped… finally. This is a very special time in everyone’s life, especially mine, and I am very grateful to all of my now fellow members who have taken it slow and gentle with me. They made this a special time and I’ll never forget my first time. I am extremely grateful they weren’t rough and didn’t force anything upon me. Though having said this I am the one who started the catch phrase down south that practically everything means yes… If you don’t know what I’m talking about ask Laura, she loved it! Furthermore if you don’t know what I’m doing here I’m writing my first blog. I must admit I am excited by the prospect of joining the highly credentialed and illustrious authors of hillshood.

I’ve been brainstorming ideas about what to write and the first thing that came to my mind, other than boobs of course, was footy. So the footy season has just started for the boys and me. Though I haven’t really been attending due to part laziness and part studying aka facebook. All teams had comprehensive wins on the weekend and this was due in no small part to junior and Dutch. There have been some murmurings in the footy world that Dutch was going to step up this year and maybe even get out of the defensive fifty once the whole season, but to just flat out star like he did, I don’t know anyone who could’ve predicted that. It is probably due to his highly dedicated and motivated lifestyle whereby he works at nights and jji several times during the day. Maybe he’s stumbled upon a secret formula for improved endurance or maybe he’s just much lighter and aerodynamic because his balls are like raisins nobody knows. Either way he’s in for a big year and possibly be the first Dutchman ever drafted. As for myself Ill probably turn up occasionally do a few hammies, actually lose fitness throughout the year, and all in all just waste talent. The cougars look like they’ll be in for another big season and there’ll be updates throughout the season.

The next topic to discuss is uni. This is only to vent my anger at the concept of uni. It is like a devils lair minus the whips and cool dominatrix stuff (face it we all want to try a little bit of that). The place has worn me down; guess five and a half years will do that to you. Though having said that I finish in two months, which I cannot wait for! Once I’ve finished uni my days will no doubt be filled with mundane days at work, watching unimaginable amounts of illicit material and just being a guy. To me this sounds like a dream, uni is the only life I’ve known since finishing high school. From what I’ve heard from the now working class chaps, working gives you a high amount of freedom and independence which I cannot wait to experience for myself. Now as you all know I go to uni with Dutch, well we never go but we are enrolled in the same classes, I’m concerned for his wellbeing after I have graduated. He has another semester to complete after I do, but having said that he’ll probably attend and excel as I’m probably a bad influence. As evidenced by me bringing my laptop to one of our lectures recently and proceeding to play Asian porn on it, funnily enough the surrounded by a classroom full of asians and slummys. Furthermore I was looking up toppies for Mandurah all via the use of Curtin’s internet, bout the only good thing at uni.

In an exciting new twist for the hillshood, some members have been recently getting involved with the opposite sex. This has led me to be excited and to start thinking that maybe our group is finally turning into the womanising group I imagined when I first met my fellows members. Each member has the ability to pimp they just don’t know it, as evidenced below. I recently made a gentleman’s agreement with an unnamed member who lives in Kalgoorlie, that if he were to be successful in making a move on a rather attractive female, I myself would finally have to make a move on miss G. I think this gentleman’s agreement is beneficial to both parties as, she obviously wants it, and I myself have grown fond of the possibility of intimacy again (not forced this time). The aforementioned member has assured me he’s making progress and she is a nice girl which I’m thoroughly happy with due to my past failings in that area. The member has also informed me that a sheets incident isn’t far off and consequently is extremely excited and anxious. Additionally I do wish I had included an unspecified member in this agreement as he has been pussyfooting around for what seems like months now with also a rather attractive female. We all wish he’d make a move and I’m sure she does too, cause really who doesn’t want their clog tickled every now and then. Take my advice and go for it, you’ll regret it if you don’t at least get a bit of a fondle. Furthermore the infamous farm animal has been chatting to a few babes recently. This is a huge step forward for a man whose mannerisms when concerned with the opposite sex are extremely similar to Raj off The Big Bang Theory. He has been informing them of his impending purchase of a house and they seem impressed with this. I don’t know if owing a house suggests you are like a donkey down there but it seems to attract the babes.

Finally Ill wrap my first blog up with some recent news that I and senior currie will be travelling to the USA at the end of the year. I am thoroughly excited as I hear the fairer sex over there love Australians’ chipolatas. This will be a great time and I really just hope I don’t get arrested. Though I do imagine I’ll probably have to further increase my already high amount of times I visit the doctor.
God bless

This Shit is Intense

2010-04-07T14:45:00.005+08:00

I'm slightly disappointed with the little interest in this blog lately; Trav still hasn't finished his supposedly awesome Max Tucker-esque blog and no one else apart from Goat has even bothered to write one. Pretty gay! I am soo fucking bored right now it's not even funny anymore. It's pretty much just myself and Mum at home these days. I am still stacking shelves which is even worse than it was before, mainly because two of the guys who are around my age just left. So it's basically down to myself and two other guys, then all the older girls and Connie....Depressing.

This is how boring work gets

The only things I look forward to these days is literally Saturdays where I have footy and also going out and getting smashed on Saturday nights. Everyday in between is just another day of the same old shit....Fridays are okay though, yeah I like Fridays. Sunday nights at work used to be fun because all four of us 'Awesome Supervisors' were on and we would literally just fuck around and do nothing. One thing I enjoy about work however, I, being a Supervisor and all, am one of three nightfill people to have the key and access code to the drinks garage across the road from work. I go there every night with one of both of the other two nightfill guys, and just sit there fucking around on my phone, just talking and bitching about the store for half an hour to an hour. Probably the only reason I can keep working there without getting too angry and quitting is coz I can do whatever I want (I generally choose to do nothing) and get away with it because I'm a Supervisor. Pretty sure this is exactly what I'm gonna do tonight, it is good having an iPhone.

LoL

So yeah, back to what I was saying before. Life at home has been so unbelievably boring ever since my bro moved out of home. I've had a couple of phases where I haven't been going to bed til like 4-5am every morning, or if I go earlier I can't sleep anyway. Last phase like this probably ended Dec/Jan this year, whereby I would be talking to Trav til at least 3am every night, then after I'd still be awake so I'd go for a run or something or walk through the bush and go on reconnaissance missions through people's properties. It was so messed up and ridiculously boring. FUCK IT WAS BORING!!! Anyway, I started sleeping in the Games room during the end of Feb and ever since then I have been going to bed round 1am or so. I've since taken over the Games room, it's just better...I watch movies nd shit to keep me entertained then go to bed.

My parents are pretty keen to move; probably to somewhere near Fremantle. It's more my Mum; I think she must be getting bored too. But yeah, it looks like they want to move soon, like end of the year maybe. Therefore, I have made my mind up that I am going to move out around that time as well. I also plan to get a proper job around this time too. I wanna move relatively close to the city...anywhere past Leach Hwy would be great. Biggles just moved out, Goat just bought a house and plans to move out, Bird also wants to move out...Fuck I want to get out of here! Haha (jokes).

Fuck Good Friday was boring, easily the boringest day of the year so far. I had plans but they fell through coz of a little reciprocated anger. Been playing a little bit of golf lately, it's good, it keeps me occupied. I haven't done much uni work lately, probably coz I would rather think about going out drinking and girls. Uni can be a little boring. It's not really that hard either.

This weekend should be alright. Should be going out with the sandwich featuring Bird and getting drunk. This weekend is going to be a General Hunt...which is also good.

Wedge

2010-03-21T20:02:00.005+08:00

Seeing the next wedge trip is less than 2 weeks away, I thought I'd just get the ball rolling on the organisational front. I'll be up north until the 31st, so I'll only be in Perth on the Thursday before Easter. I'm assuming Trav wont get back until thursday night as well. So basically we need to sort out a time to leave, prob aim to leave around 10am on Easter Friday??? and how long we are gonna go up for? Who is gonna be coming, atm it looks like only a crew of 4, but has potential to include biggles and sparrow. whos on gas duty n whos gonna drive. are we gonna risk the road or take the tracks?

Mexican Stand-off

2010-03-12T11:00:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty unbusy at work right now, seeing the crusher is down and hence there is no mining of ore to be done. The lack of jobs for me to do that I know how to do has temped me to write a blog.

I know I havn't posted the second half of my blog about new years yet. so i thought i'd sum it up in a few lines. We Drank some drinks with Jb, had dinner, I fell asleep only to get woken up by jim n trav attempting to rape me with sand. we went to Club Wedge, where Jim didn't get let in for being over dressed, so he jumped the fence. Trav found Allyssa n jacked it on the D floor. The Club went off, heaps of techno, which diji would have loved, and some dodgy wanna be rapper, who might have been banyard in a skinny suit. Heaps of Glow Sticks, and Drinks and Jim saw a couple of chicks fighting. Trav disapeared during a beer run back to the shack, never to be seen again that night, which we later found out was when he tried to get in bed with Allyssa.

Jisbag n myself went back to club wedge, n cant realy remember what happened. Spoke to diji although not sure what about, prob Trav tuning Allyssa and Club Wedge. We went back to JB's set up, n talked to some randoms for awhile cos JB was in bed. Pretty sure we rang diji again n he talked about jackin it. Can't Really remember much else about that night.

The next day the only interesting thing was the helicopters picking up injured ppl. we talked to some rat who reckons he was a safe driver then a few minutes later almost crashed. Also trav caught another snake, and decided to put it in the shack, n im pretty sure its in dijis bed right now.

We left the day after driving along the new road which was pretty quick, although we still needed to go back to lano to pump up tyres.

Neway i should probably get back to work. Hope your happy diji

History 101 - Hills Hood ya FuckHead

2010-02-10T02:23:00.000+08:00

I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to write in this blog, normally 'Goat', is the theme central to all of my blogs; this post will be no exception. I'm pretty sure this will be the 99th post on this site which is a fair achievement for such a small, local blog. Okay, I think I might have an idea. Might just talk about the history of Hills Hood for this blog, and also, Goat.

This is my recollection of how the Hills Hood street gang came to be.

The Incorporation of Hills Hood (Mid 2004,Year 11)
Pretty sure GTA: San Andreas had just come out. Everyone was talking 'bout it n shit, I played a lot of GTA and thought I was a nigga. Tim Laf, Trav and I were walking back from the oval and heading to our Intro Calc class. We were talking about GTA and street niggas, I was like "Yeah, we're the Hood boys", Trav was like "Fuck you Hood boys! This is the Hills."

Pretty sure this was where the two Hills Hood factions first started, a fierce rivalry soon developed between the two.

The Proclamation of Hidden Creek (Unofficially 2001)
I first discovered Hidden Creek as an eager young 13 year old in the November of 2001. I even wrote my name with chalk on the rock surface that day. From then on, I travelled through Hidden Creek many times on bike and on foot, on my way into Hills territory to discuss Hills Hood issues with the Hills brigade. It is a very spiritual place and is the cornerstone of the Hills Hood organisation as it represents peace, strength and the occasional export.

It is also approximately halfway geographically between the Hills and the Hood, and is a neutral meeting ground for both Hills and Hood members alike.

Hills Hood granted exclusive rights to Hidden Creek (2004, Year 11)
I used to ditch period 25 on a Wednesday or Thursday of school almost every week. Occasionally during this time and also after an exam had finished, myself, and sometimes Goat, would walk home via Hidden Creek. Around August 2004, the Hills issued a challenge to the Hood for a 2-on-2 basketball challenge. We told the Hills to meet us at Hidden Creek as a sign of 'Good Faith'...they declined. I think Goat may have went, I chose not to (probably Jackin' it instead). Anyway, Goat rocked up in Hills turf only to be shocked by the fact that the Hills had called up a 'ring-in' to make the match 1 vs 3. Goat lost the subsequent match (surprise surprise) and Hidden Creek was claimed by the Hills Hood.

The Inaugural Hills Hood Tennis Court Cricket Match (2004/2005)
Like I said before, we ditched almost every period 25 on a Wednesday/Thursday, one afternoon two Hood members and two of the Hills finest, faced each other off in a battle for glory! The Hood lost...we just kept choking. Like, we'd be kicking ass, but we'd always fuck it up. I honestly reckon it was because the Hills kept changing rules as we were going which favoured them. But yeah, it was awhile before the Hood finally one a HHTCC match, but since then the Hood hasn't looked back!

Many Hills Hood challenges were created in the next couple of years: Gamecube, Wii, drinking, JJI?, spiking Goat's drinks (more of a Hills + me versus Goat challenge)...and so on.

The incorporation of the Hills Hood blog (May 2006)
Blogs were all the craze back in 2005 (our last year of school). We used to all use WindowsLive Spaces to blog about our thoughts and whatnot. Biggles on the other hand, convinced us all that Bloggers were better. Biggles' blog was actually interesting and very lively back then Steatopygous Simon. His blogs were very interesting and very cutting-edge, Lodge even had a blogger or two (both have been deleted since). We used to write anonymous comments on both blogs all the fucking time (mainly Trav and me). One day we decided to make a rival blog i.e. Hills Hood.

Hills Hood was so powerful that it wiped both of Lodge's blogs off the internet and raped the shit out of Biggles'.

First Wedge Trip (July 2006)
Wedge has always been a big part of Hills Hood culture. The trip north is normally preceded by the end of a Uni semester, but not always. First time we went up to Wedge under the Hills Hood name was July 2006; I was pretty down cause I had failed Uni big time; Lodge could really sink piss and was also a bit wild; Trav probably had just started to get wild; and Goat was confused over a couple of ditsy girls.

It was a good experience because we were just 18 and hadn't really done too much shit like that by ourselves. It was pretty crazy actually:
- I nearly accidentally stabbed Trav in the eye with a metal prong. Only millimetres away from fucking his eye up. Very stupid.
- Trav and I fought again, we used to end up fighting all the time. Probably just immaturity..who knows.
- Lodge smashed 12-14 beers and went driving absolutely fucked off his face.
- Trav threw all of the petrol Goat brought up for the Generator onto the fire.

The main story I remember from that trip was spiking the fuck out of Goat's drink, and getting him absolutely raped! It would have to be in the top three times I've seen Goat drunk, probably even top two. Goat was so gone he was telling his all his fantasies about these girls who he liked, and like everything else about them. It was an interesting experience to say the least. One of those girls Goat, she was actually pretty nice, you will probably think I'm a cunt for constantly bringing her name up LoL. But she was nice (have a crack man!).

So that was the story of how the Hills Hood came to be by and large.

End of an Era

2010-01-23T03:42:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile since I've posted on this godly site and things have happened, so I guess I should update. I have been lazy with this particular post which I started over a month ago, the spelling and grammar is shit.

LATE NOVEMBER

Wedge 2009
It had been a year since we last ventured north to the sea-side playground called Wedge. After last years ordeal I vowed never to return as the lawless streets of Wedge seem to bring the worst out of me. Last years wounds were healed with time so I decided I would head back with the crew, just to relax and let loose after my penultimate year of uni. Only seven of the Hills Hood crew made the journey after Trav made a late withdrawal, because he hadn't completed his thesis. I've always thought that I was pretty bad when it comes to procrastinating but leaving your thesis til the week before it's due is in another league. Anyway back to Wedge.

I was actually pretty disappointed and shocked when I found out the news but I soon got over it.

Wedge was really nice and relaxing; we pretty much had the whole town to ourselves. Basically spent most of the time at the beach, sandboarding, drinking, general fucking around and taking the piss out of Goat (Just kidding man). The second day a couple of us headed back to Lancelin in Jism's beast, it was fucken crazy! It was seriously hot..had to push the car out of the sand at least three times..then run after the car and we got fucking lost and spent 40 minutes in the middle of the bush with no shade. Jism bush-bashed pretty badly through quad tracks for awhile but we eventually made it to Lancelin. It was a lot of fun...maybe not so much at the time, but it makes for a good story.

I have pretty much always just shat outside at Wedge...I think it's a combination of laziness and comfort and the fact that the shack toilet smells disgusting! I don't even try to hide the fact that I do it, like I pretty much go wherever i.e. driveway, road etc. It seems like this little fad started to catch on big time during this trip. Everyone except two of the more civilised residents, were shitting outside as well. They even started to grasp the concept of 'Extreme Shitting' whereby everyone tries to out do the others by shitting somewhere even more daring than the previous attempt. For the history of 'Extreme Shitting' Click Here.

Back to where I was before. I really enjoyed just relaxing at the beach, going sandboarding during the evening, watching the sunset whilst sitting on the dunes and just general fucking around with good company (I'm not gay).

One thing that I feel that I really should mention in this section, is to do with Goat's behaviour (how unlike me to make mention of Goat). Goat is a good friend of mine, and all within the Hills Hood community. However, I just don't think I can go on without commenting on his unusual behaviour at Wedge.

On the last night of the trip, everyone was getting a little bit drunk and having a good time dancing like idiots, fucking around and getting a little frisky. However, Goat was not joining in the festivities but ostracizing himself from the group and acting very strange. I have seen Goat act strange before but this was the first time in awhile I had seen such extreme antics. I will give you a brief rundown about what I'm talking about:
(These are approximate times)
7:30 - 8PM Goat sits inside, eats dinner by himself, occasionally makes token appearance outside
8 - 9PM Goat does something seedy in his room, makes occasional visit outside and explains that he is sick
9 - 9:40PM Goat starts practicing cricket shots with a cricket bat in the kitchen, answers every question directed his way with a non-related cricket remark i.e. "Oi Goat are you gonna come for a swim later man?"
"Gotta watch those lofted coverdrives" (Goat says this as he has a practice swing with a cricket bat)
9:40 - 10:15PM Goat locks himself in his car and cranks music to max volume, still unresponsive
10:15 - 10:45PM Turns on his ignition and goes crazy driving, Lodge and I jump in to make sure he does nothing too extreme, I get out after 5 mins because of severe car sickness. Goat comes back unharmed, Lodge a little shaken
10:45 - 11:25PM Makes 'Quick' phone call in the sand dunes to sister and Trav (might even have been longer than 40 minutes)
11:30PM We all tell Goat that we can't wait any longer for him and head off to the beach for a late night swim, as we leave we hear glass bottles and cans being smashed and Goat grunting loudly out of frustration for some reason

Maybe my recollection of these events are a little biased, but I'm sure anyone else there would agree that his behaviour was a little weird.

DECEMBER

Hidden Creek
Since footy wound up in September, I have finally had time to go back to the sacred spot known as Hidden Creek. It is actually a really nice place to go to in Summer to drink export. The crew has been hitting it up a bit during the evenings to discuss usual HH topics. The dodgy Hills brigade even attempted to ambush the two Hood boys but failed pretty miserably because they are from the Hills and one of them is a Mexican. Goat has even incorporated Hidden Creek into his fitness regime, running there Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings around 6PM...so if you want 2 ambush him, that would be the time to do it!

Metros/Goat's Cricket Game
One night, the entire Hills Hood minus Goat went to Metros Freo, after cheering on Goat at his cricket game. The night wasn't bad, think everyone was pretty smashed...think it would have been better and certainly a lot more interesting if Goat had tagged along. Cricket game was Hi-Larious! Trav made a banner (Funny Banner Photo) and we hurled a fair bit of support (i meant abuse) Goat's way. I seriously did not give a fuck haha...poor Goat, just can't escape us.

JANUARY

SouthBound
SouthBound was really, really good! Camping for 3 days, drinking, dancing and fucking around. It was seriously good! I got evicted for having an extremely big cock (forgot I had 3 bottles of alcohol down my pants) within two hours of arriving but faked out the fat bitch security guard with a fake wristy and got back in. Bird ran riot in the Vodka tent breaking those plastic, illuminated coffee tables things and also tearing the balloons off the roof. We had a really good crew so yeah, it was pretty awesome. Makes you realise how much better having fun with your mates is than work and anything else.

Jeff's Wild Celebrations
Fuck, what a crazy night. Just going to briefly touch on this. Bird talked Sparrow and myself into sharing a 1L bottle of smirnoff, in the hour before we headed out for Jeff's Bday. WE REALLY GOT FUCKED UP! Sparrow threw up everywhere in the Brass Monkey within minutes of arriving. The sink was overflowing from his vomit. Bird got rowdy like usual, sniped some fuckhead in the head. We then left the Brass Monkey...this is where my memory gets really blurry. I threw my phone at the footpath several times (it is really fucked up). Got kicked out of the Deen, screamed and shouted really loudly...I don't remember this shit but Jism and Trav have informed of me of how fucked I actually was. I tried to get into another nightclub but blew .248 or .284...I don't know. Clint from footy found me on a bench, throwing my wallet in front of cars and making them stop. He rightfully threw me into a taxi and sent me home.

I got out of the Taxi around 2am i think, I woke up on the side of Welshpool rd around 4am with my wallet and bank cards scattered across the verge. I was really fucked, when I saw Jas the next morning he clearly was too. Bird drove to maccas when he got home that morning...drove through a couple of roundabouts...such a C-razy night!

Anyway, I felt I should finish this post off since I promised I would. At least now I can move on and write a more up-to-date blog next time.

Hills Hood needs to take it to the next level

2010-01-15T20:28:00.007+08:00

Hello readers from Norway to Canada, Lesmurdie to Forrestfield, Kalamunda to Kenwick, Italy to Wattle Grove,

As it can be seen from the title, I think the hills hood name is fledgling and we need to get this place pimping. I think at the moment we are not taking the opportunity to take advantage of the full business potentials of such a magnificent blog website. I think with the correct business ideas, each member of the hills hood could easily become millionaires almost making scott and goats bet many years ago void.

My idea is that we register as a business, travel over to bali or some dodgy asian place like that. While there, we buy heaps of counterfeit shit and sell it online through the hills hood website. Because of the massive volumes of people through our website (due to tags such as mazda2, the great weight loss challenge and to catch a predator) this is bound to results in massive amounts of income. Once we've done this, we move back to aus to retire or in certain peoples cases invite back their purchased wives. I've just thought of another thing we could sell as well and can't be bothered putting earlier in this paragraph and that would be wives. Due to banyards need for multiple girls because every wife of his runs away and he can't catch up, this will provide us with a steady income as well as a steady ability to make banyard bankrupt. This would then result in us buying the shack of him and no longer being required to put up with that fat, seedy and quite scary bastard. In order to start this, I believe we will need a hills hood member who has a degree in commerce. I think we will work on the idea that they do all the work followed by a sharing of the money because I am sure this particular person I am thinking of has already made a lot of money through adverts on the website.

But enough of these boring business ideas, the real important news which needs to be spread from this blog is one of the largest victories ever seen in tennis court cricket which occurred today. As it is well known, this competition is one of the most competitive in the world with the winner rewarded with the entirety of Australia except for the other gangs area. So it was with this on the line that the latest hills hood tennis court challenge for the scott djiijkmans cancer trophy began in front of packed stands. The representatives for each team were scott and goat for the hood while me and trav played for the hills. The hills drew first blood when they won the toss and chose to bat with a solid partnership beginning. The method which we chose to use was the brace and cover technique which was first introduced in the last game but was poorly executed by me. However, this time with hours and hours of practice under our belts it looked like we were gonna play a solid defensive game of cricket.

After the first innings, the scores were quite close. However, in the second innings, a different scott came to play. While in the first innings his commitment was second to none, I believe the poor performance of his playing partner somewhat disheartened him. From here on in, a win for the hills was almost guaranteed with infighting severely distracting the visiting team. And by the final innings, scott pretty gave up and started batting around his groin region. It was not a pretty sight but the result was grand with the hills winning by 46 runs to 15 over the space of four innings each. This gave the hills once again the power of australia with plans of world domination in tennis court cricket being discussed as well as general plans of world domination. The second one may need a bit of help from the hood members but we'll see what happens.

After the match, scotty left very quickly prompting multiple theories on why he had. It was decided by the remaining hills hood members that he must have come down with schizophrenia. To try and show respect for his problem, a new trophy was made for the winner of the hills hood challenge in tennis. In honour of scott, the winner will now receive the schizo cup along with a prize of 1 million dollars from the losing side. The losing side will also be required to 1 million dollars to schizophrenia research so goat, scott and biggles aren't going to be making much money over the next few years even after they start their jobs.

That about wraps it up from me. But I thought I would leave you all with an image which has been disturbing me, jac and kiel since last friday when we went down to northbridge with trav. to set the scene, northbridge was pretty much dead with some theorists claiming it was due to southbound. So we just made a night of it drinking, going from place to place searching for the girls. We started at the shed, then moved to the deen, then to the mint, followed by the paramount and finally to the library. However the most horrific thing occurred at the paramount. It was around 130 in the morning and we got in to find about 15 people downstairs so we went upstairs where there probably would have been 40 people comprising of 38 guys and 2 girls. Trav decided what he wanted was the whale of these 2 girls and for the next 5 minutes jac, kiel and me saw in horror what happened which was only ended when the whales friend took the whale away. I managed to find a photo on my phone of this but be warned, the image can be quite

JISM OUT

2010

2010-01-04T14:31:00.005+08:00

Dear Hills Hood Faithfuls,

It is now the year twenty-ten, and to get the ball rolling on what could be the breakthrough year for the HH Blog site, a ripper first blog is needed to launch our site into international stardom. As nothing of real interest has occurred this side of the decade, I feel a recap of the celebrations from the years ending/beginning is necessary.

Let’s go back to December 30, the night before the night of interest.

It was a cool summer evening (by Australian standards for our 27 countries worth of international readers) and I was loitering on MSN as per usual when nothing exciting is on TV. I was having a conversation with Trevor, about how shady Diji is no doubt, when suddenly he asks “wanna go to Wedge for New Years?" Now my first thoughts of spending new years at Wedge were of Banyard locking us in the shack and telling stories from his imaginary youth while sending pictures of his undoubtedly STD ridden little fella to Finchy. As you can see, I was rather sceptic of the idea at the time, but after Trevor mentioned his near certain love life was going, along with a host of other familiar character such as JB and Ben Tuckey, I said I'll pull some strings n get the accommodation sorted in the morning. By this stage it was rather late, and by the time I got to sleep it was 3 am.

Moving forward to December 31, the day of the night of interest.

As arranged the night before, Trevor gives me a wakeup call at 8 am, which I answer and go back to sleep, citing the fact that Banyard was likely to be asleep or jacking it at 8 am in the morning and wouldn't answer his phone. The next hour of sleep was bliss, but far too short, and at 9 am I was back awake, phone in hand doing the ring around to get the wedge shack for the big night. Banyard was still unavailable at this time, so I just left my number, and hoped he didn't answer due to the fact he didn't have reception as he was already in Wedge. Luckily the Bandawg rang back within the hour and stuttered his way to saying the shack was free for use.

With confirmation received for use of the shack, the next task was convincing Jism to join the crew. To start off I attempted to reason with the stubborn Hills member, using arguments such as “why would you want to bring in the new year surrounded by 60 year old Asian women with chronic gambling addictions” and “If you don’t come to wedge you’re gay.” Not a single argument seemed to work, and just as I was about to give up hope the line, “wedge is way better than the Cas,” was uttered via msn to Jism’s eyes, which is true of course. All of a sudden the Hills member cracked, and we had a three man crew set for Wedge.

As we hadn’t planned this trip, we all had to do a Diji, and do some last minute shopping. I fanged it down to the local Foodworks to get supplies and for a change I didn’t get 5 weeks’ worth of snack food, although did end up with a fair bit of meat. Next stop was the Bottleo, where I picked up a cheap and nasty carton of cider, thinking Trevor was getting me a block of export from celebrations for a measly 30 bucks. I returned home to finish packing up the car, and when the Hills duo of Trevor and Jism arrived, they had already loaded their drinks into Trev’s super eski. It wasn’t until later that there had been a miss communication, causing the block of export to never come along for the ride. The fact that the Hills duo also mistook a BWS for a Celebrations store, and never actually got any export made the matter pretty funny.

The drive there was pretty standard apart from the fact that we went a completely different route, due to Trevor requiring to return books to university about a month late. Driving into Curtin, there was an Asian being a retard n walking down the road while two cars tried to drive past each other. One of those cars was mine, and as we passed the Asian, Trevor smashed down on the horn, the guy probably shat himself. The only problem was the guy was bound to pass our parking spot, and he also crossed Trev’s and Jism’s path as they tried to return books. Luckily no confrontation ensued, as he was definitely way to buff for Trevor and Jism to handle (jks).

We get into Lancelin at about 3, to find the road barricaded by cops, checking for unregistered vehicles and drink driving, and seeing we were all good we passed straight through to the bakery. Jism and Trevor went into the bakery to get a feed, while I let down the tires for some mild off-roading. Trev came back first with a sausage roll, before Jism came back with my order of a steak and onion pie, or did he. To my disappointment, the simplest of tasks was beyond the Hills member, buying me a chilli pie, which he thought was a cheese pie. Ridiculous.

Before long we were onto the tracks, and due to Jism’s misdemeanour at the bakery, I made life a bit rough in the back. The trip took longer than memory, possibly due to the fact I didn’t let my tires down very much, and the track was pretty crap. We went the full way round, crossing the new road twice, not realising that it was a massive short cut and time saver.

Anyway after a few bumps and stuff we made it into Wedge to find the place in chaos. At this stage it was like 4pm or something, and people were camped everywhere, bikes were fanging it around the tracks and the dunes alike. After unpacking the car, we went to scope out the place and find the infamous JB. Driving out towards the dunes we encounter our first surprise of the trip, seeing an Astra in Wedge. This surprise was multiplied as we drove past cars such as lowered Commodores, Magnas, Lancers and even a shitbox of an Excel. Obviously this meant that the new road was through to Wedge, or closes enough that two wheel drive cars could make it along a short section of tracks. As we closed in on the dunes, the general consensus was that Wedge should have been renamed tent land for the weekend. People were camped everywhere, some dodgy rats even clearing a camping site, damaging some of the precious local environment.

Anyway we make it to the dunes, looking for a green Challenger. There are cars everywhere; a green Triton is smashing nuts at the base of the dunes, while there were at least 25 cars up in the dunes trying to get a poll possie to watch the sunset from Reflection or Bird point. After driving up to the top of the dunes and watching a jeep get bogged and un-bogged we noticed the car of interest. We head back down to find JB jacking in the back of the car, well by jacking I mean sitting, so we get the shady dog to join us for a trip around the place. As we are about to leave the dunes, so nutter goes to start whipping a few donuts, but fails hard, in a company Ute, blowing the front tyre off the rim. Unlucky.

Anyway driving towards the beach, there are more campers and cars, the place is packed. We hit the beach and drive along until we find our track, and head back towards the shack. I almost crash into a Ute coming around a corner, but luckily both our cars had working breaks, otherwise Jism would have flown through the window as well as shitting his pants. With Jism shitting himself I had to smash it back to shack (didn’t want stains on my seats), and after passing a few cars we discovered there were also some girls at wedge for a change. Getting back to the shack, we show JB our pad, which makes him rather jealous, before we start smashing down some brews, or in Trevor’s case, more brews.

To Be Continued....

As I cant be bothered finishing this blog yet, ill leave you all in suspense. The next blog will contain photos and a recipe for making a wedge biscuit. Peace Nigs

Summer, At Last

2009-12-16T20:45:00.006+08:00

Summer is finally among us. Good times to be had by all. After having a pretty shifty semester that involved too much procrastination, way too many Mothers and missing too many social events I am glad Summer is here. Hadn't seen most of the gang since Kal Cup (great weekend) and probably hadn't seen a few of the boys since July so it's good to be back home. The dreaded Thesis caused me to miss Wedge which was pretty devastating. Also missed other events such Oktoberfest, 3 mexican's 21sts and half of the Gold Coast trip. Anyway, enough of this bitching, I'm just glad that shit is over.

Word on the grapevine is that Brother Birdy was the newest member of the clan to visit the pristine location known as Wedge. Could he be paving the way for Sparrow to make an appearance? Unlikely you say! Well, stranger things have happened, like the things Scott does on a daily basis. I've recently come across his Twitter account. Check this crazy shit out. You might need an account to view his somewhat bizarre Twitter usage. Diji has also been speaking of going and staying in Sydney with his lesbian aunties for a while due to extreme boredom. While I was still doing Uni work I wondered how he could possibly be bored and I thought of all the things I could do over Summer. Turns out I'm bored. Anyway, back to Diji going to Sydney... His recent behaviour has suggested he's going over to meet a girl and there are rumours circulating that Biggles has been giving him tips on Biggles' tried and proven approach to the situation. Regardless, Scott's inability to organise his own lunch, let alone his own holiday, could be his biggest downfall. Time is ticking Diji, you could prove your critics wrong.

Last weekend was pretty decent. Made a banner for goat which inspired some miraculous fielding by him. Must have drank around 40 beers between the spectators, which isn't a bad effort for a lazy Saturday afternoon.

Hopefully Goat get's dropped to C grade this week so we don't have to travel all the way to Mundaring to show our love. Also hoping that Goat scores a tonne so he gets some spark back in his life. He always goes wild after big sporting achievements ( Footy Grand Final, LOL). Goat has definitely seemed very subdued and reserved lately and a century or 5 wicket haul is just what the doctor ordered. The night was decent as well. Bird became the first person to successfully pull off "The Creep" which may inspire Goat to have another crack at it. After leaving Metros we were lucky enough to skip the massive taxi line and get straight into a waiting Maxitaxi. Lodge thought it was appropriate to stir up the other people in the queue by reminding them how long they would have to wait for a taxi as we walked to the front of the line. Funny shit, reminded me of the Lodge of old before the Brown Bear days.

Lodge departs for Canada soon. Have to have a bbq or something son! Should be pretty sweet (and cold). All the best son. I am looking forward to 2010. Start working and actually earning some decent money. Being a poor Uni student sucks balls. I'll be able to finally get rid of this

and get something like this

Currently looking at houses in Kalgoorlie with a few of the boys. This is one that we are looking at. It's quite pimp.

The balcony overlooking the racecourse is pretty cool. Hopefully we get it.

During the Gold Coast Trip I decided to write a diary blog. Problem is I only wrote one entry hahaha. Here it is in all of it's glory...

Day 1

Goat, Jim and I got to the airport at about 5.50AM and met up with Hodgins 1, Hodgins 2 and Julius. Surprisingly the Mexicans were not targeted by staff with regards to drug smuggling , border jumping etc and we made it to Adelaide smoothly. The flight was pretty boring, pretty sure virgin use planes that were made in the 1950’s. Goat joined the Mile High Club with his good friend Mrs Palmer. Adelaide looked pretty shifty, don’t know why anybody would live there!

Finally touched down on the Gold Coast at around 2.30 PM. There were Schoolies everywhere. I considered pulling the “Toolies 09” pose that Scott suggested but thought it probably wasn’t the best Idea. Didn’t have a clue where our Apartment was, luckily the crazy Indian taxi driver had a GPS. The taxi driver was an absolute nutter, weaving in and out of traffic and exceeding the speed limit by 40km/hr in the city while he talked in some crazy Indian language on his phone. Hodgins 1 and I didn’t have seatbelts and we were fearing for our lives. Finally arrived at the apartment and the fare was close to 70 bucks. Ridiculous. The apartment is alright, nothing too fancy but it’s in a pretty decent location. There were only four beds and there are 6 of us so I went and got this old, dodgly fold out bed with a ripped mattress. Apparently going and getting the bed meant I should be the one sleeping on it. Decided to go check out the giant shopping centre that’s across the road from the apartment. The number of girls and the quality of the girls was a shock to the system. Definitely been in Kalgoorlie for too long.

Started drinking in the late arvo and caught a bus into town. Went to a place called the Beer Garden and then to a random club. Coronas were only 5 bucks which I think turned out to be a little too tempting. Last memory of the night ends here.

Day 2

Woke up face down on the floor under a table with a condom tucked under my chin and drawings on my arm. Worked out I must have drank about 5 litres of beer and 2 shots of spirits last night. I went to the beach while the others slept. When I got back Goat was wearing a Gimp mask, very disturbing.

Goatman has also purchased a new superduper fancy electric razor. Might have to start calling him "Man" soon.

This Summer's Agenda

First off....Eat Fillet
Hopefully another Wedge trip for those of us that weren't fortunate enough to participate in the first 1
BBQ's
Probably won't be any drinking....not
Goat better score a century
Diji will live an alternative lifestyle with his Aunties.
Actually try to get fit for footy this year.

A lack of funds was looking like it could place a limitation on the fun factor of this Summer but luckily I put my thinking cap on and applied for a credit card. They have offered me a $9500 limit hahaha. This could be trouble.

Some random pics from recent times

I joined the Sneaky fan club

MATTERS OF IMPORTANCE

Throw up some Ideas for Goatman's banner this week.

Come on Goat, do something! You're not out there to eat grass!!!!!!

Pre Wedge Blog '09

2009-11-15T13:54:00.007+08:00

We're finally down to the homestretch. Exams are over, Goat and Jim have finished their thesis' and Trav is going to pull a triple All-Nighter to finish his. Wedge is only a couple of days away and things are still yet to be fully confirmed, however, it looks highly likely that we will be leaving on Sunday at around 11am or so, from Goat's house. Actually, now that I think about it, Jim's parents were going to meet us in Lancelin between 4pm - 5pm (i think). Which leaves us with two options or maybe three.

Options
1. All leave Goat's around 2pm, wait in Lancelin for Jim's parents to come with the 4wd, then all head up to Wedge in one convoy.

2. All leave Goat's between 12 - 2pm, the convoy then splits as one continues onto Wedge to set everything up and the other waits for Jim's parents in Lancelin. Then after the changeover, they head off to Wedge and arrive that evening with the shack already set-up.

3. First convoy leaves Goat's mid-morning and heads straight up to Wedge. Jim's convoy leaves mid-afternoon, swaps over with Jim's parent's 4wd, then heads up to Wedge that evening.

Please express your opinions on this subject!

Shit to bring
- Gas bottle with fuel
- Eski
- Towel
- Immunity idol or necklace
- Sandboard
- Music
- Jason Currie
- Coinage for ice
- Hair removal cream (for Goat)
- Cameras would be good

Hidden Creek
Come to the Sacred Hills Hood meeting place this Saturday at 5:30PM for the usual pre-Wedge meeting. All are welcome. If you don't know directions, ask a Hills Hood Original for a map.

Uni can suck my balls

2009-11-03T11:12:00.002+08:00

Now that I finished uni for the year, I thought i'd write a blog to waste some time. So yesterday I finished what will be my second last exam for uni. It felt good. And on friday I handed in my thesis. So now I am catching up on my sleep from the last month which has sucked so much balls, its even sucked more than elton john. But now my last exam has finished and my thesis is done, my thoughts turned to wedge. How awesome will it be? Who will be there? What crazy antics will go down? How many fires will scott light and cause the wedge fire brigade attend?

I hope the answers to these questions will be totally, everybody from the hills hood clan, wierd stuff and none. So we better start planning this. Theres a group on facebook but I think everybody is busy so no one is talking. But hopefully this gets the ball rolling.

So anyway, I'm going to celebrate and hope that all of you kick ass in whatever your doing. And i hope u all make it to wedge

Late Night Connie Blog

2009-10-29T03:44:00.000+08:00

It is very late at night and I am very tired. Trav wants me to write a blog but I am too tired to write anything even vaguely interesting. I have a couple more videos of Connie from work so I might just upload them instead.

Connie has been crazy as always. I've only managed to take two more vids of her. I am seriously considering doing shit to make her life more difficult then filming it. Like putting a pallet behind her car, fucking up the box crusher when she is crushing boxes, locking her in the freezer for a minute or two (LoL). The list is endless.

She was drinking a bottle of coke just after this video and she was going fucking nuts. Screaming and jumping up and down, running around the store from aisle to aisle. I honestly think she is going to have another seizure soon because of this. I'll probably film it as well.

Wedge is nigh. This usually translates to an influx in blogs and general Hills Hood activity. Fuck I am looking forward to Wedge!! Seriously going to let loose, but no fires this time.

To Catch A Predator

2009-10-08T01:12:00.009+08:00

To continue with the theme from my previous blog of no time to do my thesis, i've just spent the last 8 hours creating a video for NBC's Dateline. Hope you all enjoy.

Wedge n other crazy stuff

2009-10-07T15:48:00.004+08:00

In follow up from diji's recent AGM summary, I felt it would be good to get every1 pumped about wedge again. Diji's as pumped as ever, and is even keen to share a bed with Banyard if thats what it takes for this wedge trip to occur. Seeing this wedge trip could quite possibly be the last (lets hope not), it is important that we get a full contingent up there - I'm looking at you Bird and Sparrow! After doing some quick calculations, we've worked out that we will have a likely of 12 spaces available, although 10 is probably the ideal number for three cars. I reckon there are about 8 beds, with 3 being doubles, which caters for the biggles-jane and lodge-beck combos. Confirmed guests are diji, dark diji, jism, trav and myself, with main contenders for the remaining positions coming in the form of the previously mentioned couples, bird and sparrow. If you're keen, or wanna confirm a placement, speak to the diji, as he is the main man this year.

If other news, I have 9 days to start and complete a thesis. And during these 9 days I will be traveling to and from Kalgoorlie twice, going to events such as the AusIMM Annual Dinner and Octoberfest and playing cricket on saturday. Maybe I should have started sooner.

Speaking of cricket, I crabbed it on the weekend, getting out for 5, which although being my highest score in b grade to date, was dismal seeing I was middling everything. Apart from that I think this could be the season where I finally score some serious runs, and score that elusive tonne.

A new family guy season has started recently and trav makes a guest appearance as quagmire. Also Peter turns jewish. Rather humerous.

Anyway I best get back to work, but be warned a new blog will be coming soon.

AGM Recap

2009-10-05T16:09:00.000+08:00

The recent Hills Hood AGM was held on Saturday the 26th of September and was a successful meeting. An invitation was sent out to all Hills Hood hopefuls via facebook the night before. All but three attended.
Attendees:
From the Hills - Trav and Jism
From the Hood - Myself and Goat

Four members were present, therefore the quorum was met and the meeting was effective. There was only one item on the agenda; When should we go to Wedge. It was voted by a unanimous decision that Wedge should take place after GC<17, and sometime during the month of December.

This is the video that Trav 'MEANT' to send

PS. I am working on getting some more footage of Connie. I nearly got her to lash last Friday, causing her to call me a Bastard. Also, Connie does Karaoke LOL! I am going to try and get some footage of this also.

Not long....

2009-10-01T22:07:00.008+08:00

Not long now until Summer, when life's stresses will disappear and the beer will flow freely. I am looking forward to spending the Summer in Perth after the last two have been spent slaving away at the bottom of a mine! However before Summer arrives there are the dreaded Uni assessments to complete. Thankfully I have no exams, although if Uni assignments were described in terms of mountains I think it'd be safe to say that I am confronted with Mt Everest. I have been avoiding conquering Mt Everest by reading stories of others misfortune at http://www.fmylife.com and watching videos of paedophiles being caught red handed. This video is an absolute classic the guy is my idol, he's caught trying to kiddy fiddle for the second time on national TV and all he has to say for himself is "ooops". If only we could all be so carefree!

As some of you might already be aware I have recently fallen in love with a beautiful, intelligent, blonde, European girl. You can see her here.

The Kalgoorlie Cup was a great weekend as already mentioned in the previous couple of posts. The city boys got a true taste of Kalgoorlie life with some ripper stories involving Emu Export, drunk Aboriginals and general disorderly behaviour. Diji was re-introduced to a girl that he'd met in Europe a couple of years back. Chances are he'll see her again next weekend, could this be some kind of sign? Could meeting the same person by chance in three different cities be a coincidence? I think not!

Extreme inebriation caused me to commit a stupid act. Funny at the time but in hindsight ridiculously stupid. If there turns out to be no consequences then I retract the "stupid act" statement however old Bill seems quite set on replacing the whole kitchen flooring and making somebody pay for it. Just got to play my cards right and I should be fine.

Anyway it was a pretty damn good weekend with stories that we'll have for the rest of our lives and the top dog even stating " Hillshood has never been stronger!"

Last weekend I ventured back to my homeland of Perth. The trip was long overdue as Kalgoorlie was beginning to get on my nerves and it was good to catch up with friends and family. Tim has died his hair and it didn't take long for the Bruno jokes to begin. Also met Tim's cougar girlfriend who seemed alright. Cougar stayed around for tea one night. I realized that chances are she uses my seat at the dinner table while I'm away so I made a dash to beat them to the table to secure my prized seat. However Mum had other ideas and tried to make me sit at the end of the table. Luckily Dad offered to sit in the shifty spot as "It's the best spot to watch the TV" otherwise I might be attending my Mum's funeral right now as opposed to writing this blog. I used to tease Scott about having his spot at the table stolen by Stewie's Mrs, now I realize it is no laughing matter. Under no circumstance should a man have to put up with his spot at the dinner table being stolen!

While in Perth I also made a couple of trips to the sacred site called Hidden Creek. As I rode my bike down the bush track I was taken back to my younger years when there wasn't so much stress, and life was simpler. Actually we were in the middle of TEE and had to choose which path our life would take so maybe it was just as stressful, but younger years none the less. On Friday night Scott and I made the trip to the sacred creek that divides the Hills from the Hood. After an absence of over 12 months it was good to return to the spiritual homeland. Now don't get me wrong, Hidden Creek is nothing special, it's an average creek at best but it represents more than seasonal rain running down a hill. It represents a longstanding friendship between a bunch of blokes from the Hills and a bunch of blokes from the hood. While at the creek Scott issued an invitation for fellow HH members to meet at the creek the following evening.

After drinking way too many beers while watching the Grand Final at Browny's we almost decided to cancel the inaugural Hillshood AGM. Jim and Goat convinced us to keep our date with destiny and again I jumped on my bike to ride down the mountain, only this time I was drunk like a skunk. I made it to the meeting destination without stacking it which was surprising and was soon joined by Goat and Diji who made their way up the hill from the slums. Jim, who had never been to the creek before found his way after getting some directions via mobile phone. Jim was impressed by this outback hideaway and quickly noticed the soul cleansing properties of the Hidden Creek water. A few beverages were consumed before sunset forced us to part ways. A combination of being drunk and also being too lazy to ride up the hill resulted in me deciding to hold onto Jim's car and get towed up the hill. Glad I wasn't run over or caught by the police! Oh well, lived to see another day..

Now I have my new 12 Mp camera I decided to take some pictures of the sacred site, the 4 Mp camera just wouldn't give the creek the justice it deserves. Enjoy

And I leave you with an artist's impression of what Goat looked like at 2 Pm at the Kalgoorlie Cup!

The revenge of the anti nerds

2009-09-27T21:41:00.002+08:00

Gather round my children and let me tell you a glorious story about a perfect spring afternoon. It was in Kalgoorlie at the world famous Kalgoorlie Cup. The day started off well with everyone behaving sensibly before the piss was hit hard. The next few hours have been described below but the result of goat locking himself in his room and sleeping caused controversy. This meant he wasn't able to compete in the hills hood drinking competition at wherever we went that night. Long story short, Scott put up a gallant effort but with Trav carrying two empty kegs home (which he finished himself) the result was obvious. With hood wanting to hold their honour, the reigning cancer trophy champions decided that cricket was the way to try and earn back the respect which was lost in the old town of Kalgoorlie. So a challenge was set.

Fast forward a week and on the last Sunday in September, the cancer trophy was placed on the line again. The signs were looking good for the hood when before the game, the goat pulled off 2 awesome shots while taking on trav in tennis, although some would say they were lucky. But that was where the day started going bad. First up they lost the toss and got put into bat on a challenging wicket. Over the next 50 overs and 7 hours, some of the greatest tennis court cricket was played with some of the most solid defensive techniques in place. These defense methods were mainly the block the ball with your body if its on the stumps showing the true courage of all participants. But there could be only one winner. With the hood having set the hills 8 runs to win off the last innings.

The hills quickly lost their first wicked leaving the run chase in a precarious position. But the true heart shown by their members got them closer and closer to the target. Eventually only one run was needed for the win. As continual flesh counts occurred, the battered and bruised hills members chose to end it with a magnificent glide between bat and pad straight into the ground and promptly ran through for the tight single. The goat who was fielding too close did not have enough time to react as trav ran the single quicker than usain bolt could have and made it home comfortably prompting massive celebrations in the region. Immediately there were complaints from a certain hood member that the run out was actually out but he got shut down.

So that is the glorious story of how the hills reinforced the losing attitude of the hood. I'm pretty sure now the hood have no titles but challenges will be expected. Not in drinking though. They got no hope. I see the only option for them is to retire and bring in the new generation of hood members. Rat girl, that trashy pregnant 14 year old, the petrol sniffers and the fellas from just round the corner. The hills wishes these members good luck

Kalgoorlie Cup '09

2009-09-23T18:40:00.000+08:00

12 months after deciding against the 6 hour laborious trip east to the wife-beater and export capital of Western Australia, Kalgoorlie, we decided that the long journey was worth it if it meant we would get a chance to see the infamous 'Creep' move performed by Goat.

The trip was very long and very boring but Bird kept the crew happy with his retro 90s remixes. Jism made an early statement by downing a 12-inch monster seafood sub in Merriden, very controversial. As Jism was still finishing his super-sub we sped past a cop car which did a U-turn and turned on the sirens. I thought I was fucked but luckily the cops couldn't catch us and pulled over the 4wd behind which was also
speeding.

When we did finally arrive in K-Goorlie we followed Goat's directions and ended up nowhere near Agricola College.
"Turn left at the 3rd traffic lights" Goat.
There's like four traffic lights in the whole town and you still can't even get it right Goat! I guess we should just be happy that he wasn't asleep like the rest of the weekend haha! We all went to subway on the way because Goat had promised to cook us dinner which we were very skeptical about, it was surprisingly decent.

We went out soon after Goat's feast to check out the town. It was pretty packed and we were all surprised to see decent girls out. Funniest shit when all Goat and Trav's uni mates commented on how shocked they were to see Goat out lol. We all got fairly smashed and headed from Judds to De Bernales, nearly got into a couple of fights along the way. Goat left soon after getting into DEBO's followed by Jim, we were all unhappy with Goat's performance so decided to give Goat a late night beatdown.

We got home pretty late after planning a low-key night, then went in for the kill at Goat's room. The Top Dog next door to Goat's was angry that we woke him up and threatened to sanction Trav, so Trav ran through the hallway screaming and shouting haha. Some other random shit happened, but you must understand Goat, that BRITTANY IS HOT!

FAST FORWARD

Saturday, woke up realised my car keys were gone. I was pretty drunk the night before and thought I must of just chucked them in the room somewhere, no big deal. Jim woke me up by throwing up right outside my window. I soon realised that my car had mine and Bird's sunnies which was annoying as fuck. KALGOORLIE CUP MOTHER FUCKER! Snuck a couple of flaskies in and hit the wine from the start, smashed that down pretty quick so Jim and I went back for some more.

30 MINUTES LATER

Jism and I come back with another couple of bottles of wine and find Goat smashed. WTF? I have not seen Goat drunk for soo long it was a surreal experience. We met some girls from the guild who were complaining about being woken up last night by some yobbos screaming and shouting outside their rooms LOL. The races were good, Bird raked in some decent money and re-ignited his TAB addiction. Goat supposedly
got kicked out and we pretty much didn't see him again that night apart from a BEATDOWN.

Goat locked himself in his room, closed the curtins, turned off the lights and passed out at 8pm. He woke up with 43 missed calls. This was definitely the most controversial and the worst form of the whole trip. We went out again that night without Goat, back to Judds and DEBOs, met up with Sneaky and her hot friend, Trav and Jism stayed out and ventured to the Palace (Kalgoorlie Paramount), I was chased by some coons. Called Goat up for like the 30th time (literally) and went up to his for some late night Zombie action.

We were smashing out the Zombies, had double lazer and everything when we heard this loud, metallic banging outside the room. The door opens and this huge keg of TEDs drops on the floor.
" Oii man I carried two Kegs back and gave one to this abbo in the park"
That's not even the funniest part! Before we left DEBOs, Sneaky and her friend repeatedly told us not to wake them up that night. Trav and I go into the kitchen right outside the common room where they were sleeping and Trav throws the keg up in the air, smashing into the concrete floor. It pretty much woke everyone in Agricola College up, Hi-Larious!

Next morning whilst I was playing Zombies with Goat, Jim wakes up, walks onto the balcony and throws up everywhere. Classic Jism. I was freaking out pretty badly Sunday morning because didn't know how the fuck we were going to get home without any car keys. Luckily a good Samaritan handed them into the Police Station. All in all it was a Fucking good weekend!

Other Funny Shit
- We went to the Police Station Saturday night after the races, asked if they had my keys, he said no, as we were walking off Trav throws a can of wine at their window followed by several rocks.
- Eddie Mabo talked to Trav for 15 minutes on how to pick up girls, how to cure cancer and some shit about sharks. He then preceded to walk inside Red Rooster and continue his conversation with T-Rav for another 10 awkward minutes. We saw him the next day in Boulder so Trav repeatedly beeped his horn and shout "Eyyy Bro" out the window.
- Goat, Goat, Goat...for shame

HEEERRREEE'S CONNNIE

2009-09-04T00:47:00.000+08:00

I am meant to be studying for some accounting test but the program I have to use is still loading and I'm bored! Luckily for you, I'm going to write a feature blog on a special person from work. Her name is Connie.

I used to just stand a metre or two away from her and film her with my phone, but she soon caught onto that.

I have a fair bit of footage of Connie; Connie pushing a trolley, Connie pulling a pallet, Connie stacking shelves etc.

Now I have to be very discrete when I film her otherwise she gets angry.

Sometimes she has seizures. The other night she had a half seizure and started shaking, we let her work anyway. I thought about filming her but I thought that might be going a little too far.

I'm sure you're all thinking to yourselves "Leave the poor girl alone!", "This practice is so cruel and inhumane" and "Why didn't you get footage of her having a seizure???" Connie actually got me into a fair bit of trouble the other night so I think blog is justified.

Anyway, is anyone going to the Kalgoorlie Cup?? It's only like two weekends away so yeah.

Jews Galore

2009-08-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

Well it's been a while, too long in fact. I have not blogged for several months and I'm in need of my blogging fix. Anyway nothing too major has been going on, mainly planning for future events. There has been some infighting amongst HH ranks which will have to be sorted out quick smart or disciplinary action will be taking. Discussion between Diji and myself has ruled out physical punishment for Goat since he loves pain. Hopefully all the gang can attend wedge again over summer like the good old days. Would also like to see the Birdman make the northern migration although I've given up on sparrow. Diji has vowelled to do something crazy this trip so it could be an incentive for any fence sitters.

After not seeing some of the gang for several months it will be good to see them when they come out to the Kalgoorlie Cup (hopefully I remember it). Bird, Diji, Jim, Sully and possibly Will should be making the boring drive out to the thriving, awesome and loaded with hot chicks town of Kalgoorlie (kidding but it should be a good time). Sleeping arrangements will be interesting but I think every1 will be too drunk to care. Probably will end up with 5 ppl in goats bed or somethin.

Footy finals are on the doorstep. Both Railways and the cougars finished on top by a long way and it would be shit to miss out on the opportunity to play in a premiership. There's a fair chance that Goat, Diji, Sparrow, Bird and myself could all play in a premiership this year. good shit. I'm just hoping I don't get dropped, really shouldn't have played hungover that time... There's a rumour circulating that the Currie boys might be departing cougars and heading to arch rivals High Wycombe... Disgraceful!

Gold Coast should be intersting. Contrary to popular belief and to Diji's disappointment belief I don't think any of us will be getting arrested. Should be a good trip and I am eagerly awaiting the crazy antics to come. I'm sure after Wedge I'll be claiming to never drink again but I'll have to harden up. This trip could see the G-banger going wild like when he first turned 18. His wild side has layed dormant for several years and his busting to get out. I can't believe Diji turned down the opportunity to witness this.

I almost forgot about Bird's birthday. This night deserves a blog of it's own. A few of the boys headed down to freo early to book into the hotel and enjoy a few beverages before the big night. Will, myself, Browny, Birdman and Sully cruised there in Browny's car and highlights of the trip involved honking at anything that moved and parking next to mad dog. Anyway after tricking the hotel into thinking we only had 3 people in the room we headed over to Little Creatures. Little creature served up some good but expensive food and dinner conversation revolved around how much Browny looks like the kids in Short Stack and how hot one of the waitresses was. Things got a bit rowdy with the waitress encouraging us to drink more and more... very sly. Anyway we made it back to the Hotel despite the rain and freezing cold and knocked back a bottle of Jager in about 10 mins. We made our way to Benny's and the night gets a bit hazy from then on. We met up with the Currie boys and got stuck into the cocktails. Next thing we're standing in the VIP line at metros and I can't remember much after that. Apparently I wasn't seen again so not sure what happened. Apparently all the boys had a good time and Bird spent half the evening smoking cigars, not the blue veined variety though. I made it back to the Hotel first at about 1.30 I think after stopping by HJ's for 3 large onion rings hahaha. I entered the room and there was a free double bed, a free single bed and a little tiny bench turned into a makeshift bed. For some reason I chose the makeshift bed.

The next part of the story is what made the night so funny. I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear a girl's voice. I got up to investigate and I think Bird and Sully had just woken up too. Browny was in the bathroom porking some girl he'd brought home. After some investigation it was determined she already had a kid that was probably 4 years old already. This girl seriously had no self respect. The contents of her bag had been tipped all over the floor and her shoes thrown into the pool and all she did was laugh without questioning any1. Brown and her went back to the bathroom for round 2 while the rest of us tried to sleep although it was near on impossible with her moaning in the background. They emerged half an hour later and she made every effort to keep us awake while she searched for her missing shoes. She left a little while later, shoeless, stating " This is pathetic!!!!!!!" I stole Browny's spot in the bed as it was determined he was demoted to the makeshift bench bed. I thought it would be a good opportunity to get to sleep but Browny had instantly fallen asleep and was making a sound like a dog choking. I woke up the next morning with bird claiming I had spooned him during the night and was sleep talking, all lies I think. Brown and I set off the next morning in search of replacements for the items we had eaten / broken when bird had thrown at browny. Apparently each powerade was going to cost $8.35 if the hotel had to replace it. Ridiculous. We walked all around Freo searching for the items and had to buy different items from a newsagents and a cafe. After our mammoth trip we realised that there was a little supermarket right across from the hotel. When we got back birdy was showing off the bra he had found under Sully's bed haha. Anyway we left the hotel looking ultra seedy and returned to the car only to find the parking had cost $31.50!!! Browny sweet talked the philipino and we were off to begin the hangover recovery at HJ's.

Good times had by all, looking forward to Summer

Wedge October '09

2009-07-23T18:16:00.001+08:00

There has been a huge recent revelation in the world of Hills Hood...WEDGE TO BE BROUGHT FORWARD!! This is true, Wedge may in fact take place during the second mid semester Uni break in early October. The second Uni study break this semester is over the week commencing September the 27th through to October the 2nd, this provides a perfect window for another wild, northerly adventure.

Important Dates:
- Saturday 26th of September; AFL Grand Final and likely big night out
- Tuesday 29th of September; perhaps the most important date of the year My Graduation Ceremony

Because of these contingencies I think the best time to go would be either the following Wednesday or Thursday and come back on the Sunday or Monday (If you are willing to ditch Uni).

Confirmed Guests:
- Goat
- Trav
- DIJI

Likelys:
- Jism
- Bear

Unsures:
- Biggles
- Anyone else

Unlikelys:
- Bird
- PFCC Spaniard

Please share your opinions on this topic.

The Home Stretch

2009-07-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

Gday fellow Hills Hood companions, I have been urged by the sly dog Travis to write a blog about my recent ordeals. Considering I haven't written a blog for several months it is probably a good idea. A lot of this shit is about Melbourne...it will probably bore you.

MELBOURNE
A couple of weeks ago I ventured to Melbourne with JP and the PFC crew (PFC does not stand for Perth footy club). We also met up with the usual suspects along with some of their mates which included a 50yr old bloke by the name of Schoey...he was a funny bloke. Anyway, we arrived on a very cold and very early Friday morning, it wasn't long before the Currie boys were arguing between themselves (pretty sure they were arguing at Perth Airport before we had even left). We made our way to our apartment in East Melbourne which we arrived around 4:40 am and since we could not check in til 2pm, we had a long wait on our hands.

JP and I decided to go exploring but the PFC crew being responsible as always, decided to wait for the reception to open. The receptionist said we would be able to check in @ 10:30 so we quite literally loitered in Melbourne Central for 2 hours...just slept on those couches in middle of shopping centre. I could honestly write a fuckload on this topic but I'll try and keep it relatively brief.

The plan which we had arranged with Bird / Browny was to meet them at Crown Casino at 2 or 3am in the morning, directly after they flew in. This did eventuate! I expected big things from the Crown's two night clubs; Fusion and Odeon . . .Well, was I wrong! After some successful gambling I met up with the rest of the crew upstairs, we lined up for fusion after seeing a huge line of 40yr + couples lining up for Odeon. I got pretty smashed that night which I generally do when I drink LIITs. We were about to go home when finally Bird and Brown rocked up, JP, crack whore, Junior and Token went home whilst the remaining four of us ventured up the infamous King St looking for strippers.

We came across Bar 20 Showgirls (they were hot strippers not dirty strippers). Some stuff happened made it home from strippers at 6am, realised JP had been raped or was in middle of drug bust, Junior was freaking out...it was a good night.

JP just before 'The Incident'

Saturday was fun, went footy, shopping, did some Parkour and four-man Indian file, was introduced to legendary Schofield and Coxy, went to Bar 20 Showgirls again, got rejected by several night clubs for having WA drivers licences and for not being dressing like a gay fucking quoff, Junior and Token disappeared, went to St Kilda..more quoffs!
Met up with the usual suspects at Crown again and yeh.

Sunday was really messy and Monday we found the greatest ever Timezone even though it is not actually a Timezone.

Anyway, I really like Melbourne and I also really like travelling..pretty keen to go somewhere at the end of the year. Any ideas??

HILLS HOOD
Basically, the Hood produced one of the greatest come from behind victories in HH Tennis Court Cricket in the game's short history. The Hood once again hold the prestigious Cancer Trophy along with the T20 Cup, but not the Brown Bear Cup. I also hear that that the Hood destroyed the Hills in a recent Badminton exhibition match. Great work Hood!

UNI
I have finally finished my Undergraduate degree at Uni, now I'm going onto my Masters. I'm pretty sure most of you guys are in your last semester or are coming close to finishing. Fuck, I'm glad it's over!

CREEP
I was really disappointed last Saturday night when I called Goat up and was informed that he was on his way home and not coming to the Capitol. I was seriously looking forward to finally seeing the legendary 'Creep' dance move actually coming to fruition. But yet again I was left disappointed. Will I ever get to see that irresistible pick up move??

WEDGE
Yes! This is the other reason why I am writing this blog. I have heard a bit of interest has been circulating around the Hills Hood about Wedge Island. The last 3 years or so we have made the pilgrimage to the sacred spot bi-anually, however, this year we have not yet gone. I think this is a good thing as we will all be craving it more come November. I thought I would never again go back there after those 'fire' incidents, I feel I have matured somewhat and would never again do such a stupid thing (lol). If we do again go back to Wedge I say we get a big crew to come which includes the likes of you BIGGLES!

I think it would be nice and relaxing to go there after exams and let loose. BUT NO BANYARD!

OTHER SHIT
Trav walked from the City (where we all were) to Fremantle, the caught a bus back to the City, then another one back to his car (near Fremantle) and arrived home at 10am Sunday morning. WTF!

Jism's 21st this weekend...BE THERE!

Goat has called me several times after a big night out, but most of which he has told me has been proven to be fallacious. Disappoing Goat.

HIDDEN CREEK
The Hills Hood AGM will be held soon at Hidden Creek to discuss Hills Hood matters, namely Wedge. Stay in touch with HH for more information.

New adventures

2009-07-08T13:32:00.002+08:00

New adventures abound! I had thought that someone else would make a blog post about this, but apparently not! The other day, my dreams were... well ok, not fulfilled, but it was pretty cool anyway (Let's be honest if my dream in life was to play badminton, I wouldn't have too much to look forward to). Upon many attempts to coerce the hillshood crew into a game of Badminton, which has previously failed, it finally happened! I was contacted by an eager party of potential challengers, and we played a game the other day, which was good fun! I was pleasantly surprised with the skill of my 3 opponents, despite it being their first badminton liason.

Although it doesn't really count as a hillshood battle I guess, but the hood Badminton armada won a resounding victory against the forces of Hill. Admittedly it helped that Hood had a fair bit more experience on their side, but next time, I think it will be a fairer fight.

It would be good if my former Badminton compatriots could join us as well, one of which is situated in the hills area, and one more in the hood. This might appear to be of an advantage to the hood... and I'm ok with that.

We will have to play again.

Almost Done Son

2009-06-01T20:27:00.003+08:00

The end is in sight my friends. With less than 3 weeks left in this semester, the time is near where we can finally relax and correct our sleeping patterns. I'm not too sure why I am even writing a blog, when I haven't even started working on an assignment due in less than a week, especially since it makes up 60% of a unit.

Anyway onto important stuff. Had a good win in footy on sunday, downing the top team by 41 points. I played pretty good, although didn't influence the game as much as i'd like in the second half, probably due to my unfitness. Pity I wont get much footy in over the next 6-8 weeks while I'm back in perth as I was starting to get some form up. Unfortunately hood had a loss to the hills team a few weeks back, but it was mostly due to the stacking of the hills side. I got in the best on ground but got let down by the slack midfielders in the team. Trav's footy career seems to have hit a road block after winning the inaugural neil flood medal, with a drop in motivation the major factor for his lack of training in recent weeks.

The Kalgoorlie crew should be returning to Perth in the near future, and Jism has already called for a HH challenge. Not too sure how possible its gonna be with exams n stuff but I like his enthusiasm considering he is gonna lose.

The commerce crew is off to melbourne to contract the swine flu in a couple of weeks, while Diji is expected to miss the trip due to the likelihood that he will be admitted to rehab for his mother addiction before the trip commences.

Anyway we will need to start planning a foreign trip for the end of the year soon, and with diji's recent statement about africa/asia, a new destination may need to be considered.

Epidemic

2009-05-14T00:08:00.010+08:00

News Flash " ZOMBIE FEVER HITS KALGOORLIE!!!! "I wonder if the first time Jas played zombies he knew how much of an impact that moment could have on the mining industry and possibly Australia/World. 2010 could be a year that sees 6 less graduates enter the mining industry due to too much zombie killing. Jas introduced scott ot zombies who told trav and eventually goat caught on and started the hit past time in 'goorlie with bulk ppl addicted. Could this make the mining industry go bust and induce a global depression? I don't know, maybe 1 of the commerce gods could enlighten me.

I think Goat might be regretting having a big screen and a ps3 in his room as there always seems to be somebody keen for zombies. We've even found a way to break into his room so his lock is pretty ineffective. You knock out the slats above his door and you can lean in and unlock the door. Its kind of like zombies but goat doesn't normally get a chance to board up his door. People out here are getting pretty decent with level 18 becoming a pretty par score.

Here are some pics of goat in all his glory

5 games into this footy season and I'm still winless, including a loss to goats rat team. 2 ressies losses, 2 league losses and 1 game I dislocated my finger in the warm up, didn't play and the team went on to win. The funniest thing is that the when i play ressies the league team wins and when i play league the ressies team wins. In round 1 league won by 14 goals and ressies lost by 9 points. Then last week we played the same team but this time I played league. League lost by 2 points on the siren and ressies won by 14 goals. I am obviously a 90 point swing man, but in the wrong direction. crab

Other crazy shit goin on in kal

A forry VN that the locals got to

Some pranks

We noticed the similarities between goat and toad in this pic

Uni News

I had a lecturer ring my parents because I haden't handed in an assignment. Little did I know that he is the easiest marker ever and I should have just handed in some hell shifty work instead of busting my gut to get it done. He gives you 100% as long as you have references.

Other General News

Jism has bulk money to spend on a 21st. Ideas so far include flying all the boys to Jamaica or getting bulk strippers at his house.

Diji is up to something shifty as he only ever logs on to msn after 1 AM. Initially I thought he might have become over committed to uni but then he said his assignment was late so he obviously isn't spending his time

at/doing uni. What could he be up to? Suggestions?

Lodge has been sighted at training recently and also at Tavern. Really should be writing a blog

Jas is carving cougars after years of bagging out the club. Angry after boys tuning his cousin

Birdman still goin strong after settling down for a week. Possibly has swine flu

End of year should venture on an international trip. Throw up some Ideas. Goat wants to go for 5 weeks in the red light district of Amsterdam, might be a bit expensive. Maybe Bali or something for a jews among us...

Root rot.

2009-05-13T21:46:00.002+08:00

What is that vulgar picture I see above this post? This kind of disgusting imagery isn't necessary on blog of this caliber. Let's face it, we can do better, and I expected better. This classy blog of ours could be something huge, something spectacular. If we let ourselves get this socially disfiguring rot, now, at our roots. Then when our tree grows, it's bound to fall in the wind.

Predictive predation.

2009-04-28T18:36:00.003+08:00

What's going on? I'm not really in the know these days, 'cause I'm such a recluse and all? FUCK YEAH RECLUSIVE. Can you dig it? Personally I can't, Ive got a sore back, see? You probably can't because I don't have one! Let's be honest, my heart really isn't in this blog, but there is a reason for it. I'll probably come to the reason later considering I'm watching Tim Minchin in my other screen. He's pretty good! I should probably let him out.

These last couple of days have been pretty hectic for me, having a few assignments due and all that shit. I'm sure a lot of you are the same. I've been slamming out a few thousand words a day, and it's pretty fantastic, if you like that sort of thing! LOVE IT. Gotta say.

I kind of hoped to bang on a bit more about nothing, which is a bit sorry considering I've only written like 100 words (this is where you check, and find out that it has actually been exactly 100 words up to that point) (BUT IT ISN'T). So since today I can't really get into the swing of rambling, also since I'm still watching Tim Minchin, and he's worth my attention. This isn't as much. So I'll get onto the point of this post, which happens to be the topic of Hills Vs Hood, about which there have been numerous posts, and a topic which I fear needs redressing.

Now I've not been present at all the contests between these two warring factions, separated by a simple difference geographical position, but it occurs to me that there's a small bias in the battleground placement. From what I can tell, all battles held not at private residence, are held in the "turf" of the "Hills". I'd like to rectify by offering a relatively neutral alternative. As one who is not usually present in these frivolous pursuits of meaningless dominance over an invented opposing faction, I believe there could be an addition to the repertoire of faction collision. I believe that addition is Badminton.

Hartfield Park Recreation centre will be the venue for this validification of egos, and I will be the host. Call me sometime, I'll give you the details.

HillsHood expands to the footy arena + Zombies

2009-04-15T17:06:00.004+08:00

A recent study has pinned the global finical crisis on the lack of spending caused by the zombie craze. With zombie killing controlling the lives of even our own digital master, the future for the world isn't bright.

Onto footy, the recent kalgoorlie derby was held at the sir richard moore oval, with the mighty kangas going down in the league and colts, but winning the all important reserves. The weak dogs in league and colts should be ashamed to lose to traditional rivals, railways, but rumor has it that they are just giving railways a head start to the season to make the competition even at the end of the year.

The ressies game, which could be called a hills hood battle, was a hard fought encounter, with railways(hills) bursting out of the blocks. The hills should have been up by 12 goals by quarter time, but some crab forwards kept the hood in the game. Trav had an instant impact as he scored a goal within seconds of coming onto the ground. Im not sure, but i think some money was handed over to the umpires before the match by the shifty hills member. Caught holding the ball, Trav wins a free kick for some crazy reason, then when his team mate tries to claim the free, the hood are penalized for throwing him the ball. Then when asking the umpires wtf was going on, the umpires decided Trav deserved to get moved a 120 meters closer to goal.

The second quarter was slightly better for the hood, with the midfielders finally going for the ball in contests. Trav continued to have an impact on the wing, until for some unknown reason his coach moved him to HBF to play on some crab. Meanwhile I was playing like a crab, mainly due to a lack of ball coming into the forward line, and some crabs deciding to kick to the opposition when coming out of the back-line. At half time the scores were still fairly in favor of the hills, with about a 3-4 goal lead.

The second half was a very even quarter, with the hood making up a goal, to leave the hood just 3 goals down at the final break. Some accurate kicking by either side could have put the game out of reach, but neither side capitalized on their opportunities. After a quick stint playing on trav, I went to the bench for a rest, before coming back on in the midfield. This may have been the turning point of the game, with some midfield pressure being applied, the hills started to show signs of weakness. I finally started to get some possies, after getting fark all in the first half.

The final quarter started with trav at HBF again, while I was in the middle. I got the first clearance of the quarter, with a quick throw onto the left boot before getting nailed by the hills ruckman. Not too sure how it all happened, but we managed to get a couple of quick goals, causing the hills to falter and start to panic. I got a goal assist, and did some good work on the wing to set up another, before cramping up. I got moved back up forward to have a rest, and with scores even, I took a mark about 70 out from goal. I played on straight away, not knowing how long was left, ran to about 60 and tried to hit a man leading into the far pocket. Due to fatigue or just crab skills, I hooked the kick, as it got caught in the wind and landed 15 meters out from goal, just to bounce and go out for a throw in. After coping a spray from the full forward for not kicking it to him, our forward pocket collected the ruck knock from the throw in, and nailed a goal. From there, the hills went into panic mode, and turned the ball over frequently, allowing us to score 2 more goals in quick succession. The Hood ended up claiming the battle by 3 goals 3.

In other news, Lesmurdie mazanod claimed this years C grade premiership in a tightly fought battle with helena valley. I carved up the semi final, but failed to perform in the GF with the bat, but kept wickets in a way that would have made Gilly proud.

Ive been meaning to put this crazy pic up for awhile. Its a screen shot from a video of diji roof surfing at wedge.

This Picture is from the next slide of the video where diji has entered zombie mode and is trying to break in through the sun roof.

When will those zombies learn.

To finish off this blog I think ill have to outline my disappointment with Lodge n Biggles for not coming out on sunday. U missed trav hooking up with umpa lumpa, which was pretty much the funniest things I've seen this side of the 2009.

Out of Control

2009-04-15T17:05:00.002+08:00

I am very disappointed with all of you gringos....two posts this year?? Absolutely terrible! I'm not quite sure the reason for this blogger drought but I plan to change to resurrect this once noble blog. Actually i think there may actually of been three posts but that still doesn't change my point. Lovers and Lobbers wouldn't be happy.

So, what has been happening in the Hills Hood in the last couple of months you ask? So much it's just incredible. Goat jizzed in his pants (not the first time) haha but seriously.

This is what Trav has been up to.

What else you ask? Well, this just wouldn't be a Hills Hood blog without another Zombie pic.

Crazy Zombies . . . when will they learn.

A sign of things to come??

He really is out of control!!

Anyway, Sunday was Trav's 21st which began at Supa Golf, continued to the Brewery next door, made it's way back to Trav's and then finished out in the City/Paramount. It was a fun day all round.

Supa Golf/Brewery
There was a bit of heckling and sly tactics by a select bunch of people. Trav's bro smashed out a Hole-in-one. I still regret not doing a runner from that brewery, should of let Kevin pay for it! Nearly a couple of crashes on the drive home caused by some very calculated driving by the 'Rock God'.

City/Northbridge
Goat convinced me that the entire city would be packed with life. All the main bars Tigerlils, Capitol etc. were meant to be open . . . What The Fuck Goat??? The city was dead just like a ghost town. The only major pub open was Carnegies which had like five people in it and one of them I'm not sure I'd even call a person. Anyway it wasn't too bad, pretty much most of us got smashed, Bird rendezvoused with his old mate 'The Monster' and the lade we got from HJ's tasted a lot like vodka thanks to flasky.

From there we stumbled into Northbridge and like 99% of the time when we're in Northbridge we ended up at the Paramount. Apparently Goat spent $250 on drinks at the ol' Para and was forced to retire early because of extreme inebriation. Trav knew what he was doing when he entered the dance floor, it definitely looked very calculated (I will say no more). Pretty much everyone got smashed, some more so than others i.e. Jeffrey. Bird went back for another monster but was distraught to find the Jack empty. All in all it was a good night.

Also, easiest the funniest part of the whole day was when JP the 'Rock God', drove very slowly through two consecutive red lights without even realising. He drove at barely 30km's an hour as he adjusted his aerial and without realising, crossed through two very precarious intersections with no damage. Claps all 'round.

To round off this blog, I will just list some of the other major happenings over the last couple of months.

March
- Hood smashed Hills by 55 runs in the inaugural HH Twenty20 match
- Biggles turned 21 and had a nice night in Kenwick (no reported stabbings)
- Zombie epidemic reached as far as Kalgoorlie
- Bear seems to be 'Out of Action' again
- Cuz's low rider gets very low

April
- Hills introduce new trophy 'The Brown Bear Cup' which they win comfortably against single-man Hood team
- Hood intentionally relinquish the Cancer trophy after 10 month winning streak

Summer Is Over (How Gay)

2009-02-27T02:04:00.001+09:00

So it looks like no one is going to write another post anytime soon, which leaves me the task of posting a blog and also to generate a bit of interest back in Hills Hood. In my three years of being part of the HH online community I have written many posts (most relating to either or both Goat and Wedge). However, this time, I have decided to write a post on a subject not relating to either of the above topics.

I have just started back at Uni this week after a 13 week break in which I did quite literally nothing. Well I did a little but spent alot of time during the day sleeping, watching tv and other things which were highly unproductive. Which has led me to the theme of this blog which is travel.

I really want to go travelling now and leave behind this crazy city for awhile. Step number 1 is to lock down somewhere to go during June - September this year, I think I will choose Asia. I was thinking Tajikistan or Israel would make for an interesting holiday, or perhaps even North Korea. I'm sure Goat would fit in fine into a Socialist-type society where he is forced to work like an animal. But seriously, I really want to go travelling right now.

Anywhere would be good really just as long as it's not Perth. Goat claims to already have half of Lesmurdie interested in an end-of-year Euro trip, but this could all change when Goat realises that he'll actually have to spend more than $20 for once if he wants to make it happen. Life is hard when you are a Jew!

Jew or no Jew, the fact is that Goat is not the only person to show interest in an overseas adventure. There have been rumours circulating that Hagred, is also eager to travel half way across the globe to see some of his relatives in North America and also Russia (they are Bears incase you didn't know). However such a trip would have to be carefully timed in order to avoid the annual Hibernation, which normally occurs as early as March and continues for as long as July - August.

It would probably be a good time to go in the 6 months after Uni is done for the year primarily because most of us will be done with Uni. THAT'S IF YOU WANT TO GO AS A TEAM??? We could always do it Amazing Race style and go in bits n pieces and complete road blocks n shit (not even sure what I'm talking about). I have made a very poor table to illustrate this point.

The Uni Race

Bird - Graduated now back for second stint
God - One semester left, might be going back for more
Goat - Finished at end of year
Trav - Finished at end of year?
Sparrow - Finished at end of year
Biggles - Finished at end of year???
Jism - Half way through next year
Hagred - Awhile off

So yeah...just some food for thought. Also I really want to go snowboarding. Anyway, in other news:

There has been a couple of early absences at training which is not a good sign of things to come.
Sparrow has found a new glitch in Zombie which will surely make level 30 a real possibility
Spartan Rush never quite caught on. Oh well I guess there's always next summer.
Hood retained the Cancer Trophy in a comfortable come from behind win over the Hills. That is the 3rd successive Tennis Court Cricket loss for the Hills. I'm just glad I'm not a Hills member.
Goat is training to become a 'Pick-Up-Artist'
Trav is seriously an alcoholic but I don't blame him because Uni is depressing.

coz you're hot then you're cold

2009-01-25T11:34:00.004+09:00

Just to put the record straight, the title of this blog is not referring to my love of KP but is how I have summed up goatmans 21st. How could a man that 24 hours earlier had spewed at a family BBQ and done a speech that would have made Mr Blacklock and Martin Luther King proud turn into a reclusive mormon jew on 1 of the most monumental days of his life. Attempts were made to get goat rowdy by spiking his drink but they were wasted efforts. Goat was standing firm on being a pussy and there was nothing we could do. The night was pretty shifty, the fag DJ didnt do a shout out to goat, oompa loompa wasn't there (devs), sully is still as gay as usual, i had a spew and a random dancing midget bloke kept following Dij around. Atleast the taxi driver was funny. Reminded me of Rossi

There's a flood of 21st's at the moment with a couple of rippers just passed. BBQ's with mates and family seems to be the trend but I can see that changing as the Free Spirit doesn't have time for trends. Rumour is that ol Jimmy is already preparing a speech in an attempt to trump the last 2. In my opinion he shouldn't even bother as it will be a mammoth effort to top quotes like these "He is an Aussie Idol" and "Dream keeps me happy on the weekend". Seriously even goats aunties laughed at that 1. Goat then provided some more light entertainment when he decided to crank out the Makers Mark after a 3 year recovery program. Goat couldn't control himself and immediately poured himself a triple shot. Fast Forward a bit and sure enough goat ended up passed out in the shower. Rewind. The ol Goat went for a tactical spew in the garden that turned out to be not so tactical when he fell in it.

Other notable recent events include Diji lighting fires and doing a Connie when he fell off a ladder and kneed himself in the chops, Jas doin the hard yards at work, Lodge working to become more Aussie than Sam Kekovich, Jim sparks racial tension at the Aussie Open, Brother Bird shuts door on possible remarriage to liz, G Money got a 3rd ball duck and the T dawg wrote a blog and almost ended the lives of bird and dij after some questionable driving manoeuvres.

Until next time....

TURF WARS - Hood Style

2009-01-03T16:55:00.000+09:00

For those of you who viewed yesterday's local bush fire and secretly suspected turf wars between rival precincts the Hills and the Hood, then you would of been right. Not really. A rogue gang from Forri started the multiple blazes, that accompanied with suspect tactics by the local Brigade, made for an impressive summer bushie.

I was totally oblivious to the trouble brewing deep within Hood territory on that fateful afternoon of Wednesday the 31st of December (New Years Eve), it wasn't until one of the top Hills officials warned me of the approaching danger and also a carefully planned out course of action which proved to be near fateful.

It all started around 1630 DST, I was preparing myself for a big night of festivities to welcome in the new year. T-Rav called me and informed me of the situation. We headed out and strategically parked at the lookout (Honey Rd). We ventured deep within the Sacred Forest only metres from Hidden Creek. We followed the tracks down the hill to a point overlooking the Seedy Park and the Lesmurdie Falls. At this point we had a clear panoramic view of the magnitude of this beast. There were two fires; one in Seedy Park and the other climbing the hill towards the Goat Farm.

We quickly realised the implications of this second fire and how the lush grass which Goat grazes upon could well be gone by nightfall. Sweat started to drip down my face and the adrenaline kicked in. We took a right and a left and made our way down to ground zero. The fire at Seedy Park had started to calm down thanks to the local fire brigade and the aerial contingent. As we continued down we were in clear view of the fire service and vice versa, only metres from the flames. At this point, something strange happened. T-Rav and I watched as a small burning log was still burning very precariously, untouched. The FB seemed to retreat. T-Rav and I watched as the the second fire on the hills grew with every passing second. The legendary Hercules tried several times to engulf the giant but to no avail.

Several minutes passed as our eyes were fixed to the north, but something wasn't right. The smoke in the surrounding air had increased and so had the crackling of fire. We looked back towards that log...this wasn't good! Only about 15 metres away from us where the smouldering log once was, was now a full-pledged wall of flames. We looked at each other, not knowing what to do. As I looked around to analyze the precarious situation which we were in I noticed a much bigger fire only 50 or so metres away.

We were caged in on both sides by two huge walls of fire. This time we only had two options; run or call out some water pokemon. Unfortunately for us I had already traded my level 42 Blastoise for some shitty sand pokemon. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! We ran, back up from where we had come down earlier. As we made our way to the track intersection I noticed the fire on the left had made it's way up the hill also and was about to consume one of the tracks.

We contemplated running the other direction into Hills territory but because this was a Hood only affair we took our chances against the smoke dogg. As we legged it along the rocky outcrop we saw the local ranger absolutely gunning it away from the approaching flames. We ran and ran and were seriously close to the flames towards the end but managed to get to Trav's beast in time.

I even jumped on the pushie at 3am in the morning to do some further investigating. After stumbling home from NYE celebrations I rode my bike to check out the fire. It was pretty cool, there were embers everywhere on the hills and looked like something outta LOTR or some shit. The flames were still going down in the Hood and so were the hoses.

DIJI out

SPARTANS HOLD

2008-12-10T16:33:00.001+09:00

Oh Yeah, that's right. The Smoke-Train is back in town, it's been awhile too. Anyway, in previous years Hills Hood has died away a bit over the summer break, this year looked to be no different until the DIJ stepped in. This smoked up blog will single handedly save HH from seasonal mediocrity, but I must firstly mention how disappointed I still am, that Sparrow opted for his HH blogger license to be terminated. Sparrow's resignation although sudden, was definately not entirely unforseeable. This erratic behaviour is indicative of Sparrow's often unpredictable nature, which has consequently led to the deletion of both MSN and Myspace on multiple occasions, and many other questionable choices made by the Hills original. This being said, Hills Hood will continue strongly into the new year and more than likely prosper once again in the upcoming months. I even believe I have an assignment next semester which requires the creation of a blog (LoL) in such a case I may opt for the easy option and use Hills Hood instead.

What's been happening in the HH you may ask??? Not alot! I have taken an excerpt from Giumelli's prototype sitcom which depicts a lower-class family whom reside in Armadale:
Darrell : Shazza where are my fucking work socks????
Shazza: Look in the fucking laundry ya fat bastard
Darrell : Why are there a pair of clean fucking Versace underpants here?
Shazza: ummmmmmm
Darrell: YOU FUCKING SLUT!!!
Shazza : At least he doesn’t shit his pants like you
(For the full version just ask me)

He also plans to write another sitcom about a guy who gets cut off by an asian driver (LoL).

Back to the HH. I could write a very long blog seeing as I haven't written one for about two months now. To make it easy to follow I will break the remaining blog down into several parts;
- Wedge
- Where are they now?
- Other random shit

Part 1 - Wedge
Wedge was nice and peaceful, apart from some yobbos in a green 4wd. The highlight of my trip was NOT lighting bushfires (I have learnt my lesson) but probably car surfing on Goat's bad boy. Got to be careful about what incriminating evidence I put in this blog. Other points of interest from the trip North include:
- Jism knocking back a carton in a day (Very impressive)
- The team effort to steal Goat's car which was subsequently bogged by Trav in a faraway sand dune
- Sparky finding a rice crop at the Ice Cream Shack
- Goat NOT lashing (Disappointing)
- Sand fly made transition to roof rat
- Sea lion having a few too many exports
- The Wedge Fire Brigade NOT being called to our shack
- Some random dingo hiding in the bush next door

Part 2 - Where are they now?
It is that time of year again where everyone heads their own way.
Ratboy - Back in K-Town for a summer of hard yakka. Is still an alcoholic.
Goatman - Trying not to get fired from another job. Working in Boddington but back for some wild weekends (Please refrain from going to gay bars)
Hagred - Has made the transition from filling potholes to preventing potholes.
Jism - Working like a shy guy. Also planning a huge house party which will likely last several days.
Biggles - Flew across the Tasman yet again for another summer adventure. Finally pulled himself out of the gutter and found himself a job.
Diji - Has been working the fill pretty hard, is still a bit distraught after his idol Connie, blacked out on the top of a ladder (you work out the rest). Has also been getting up to a bit of mischief with Team Bird and Team Cuz.
Sparrow - Has been getting shaky after school. Scored himself a new job.

Others (token characters)
Giumelli - Writing rediculous sitcoms that will never get him a contract. Is now a heavy chain smoker.
Bird - Continually pushing his limits to see how wild he can get before reeled in by his caring mum or maybe even local police.
Sparticus Jnr. - Has reached level 23 and is looking slyer than ever.

Part 3 - Random Shit
This section is for all the other vaguely interesting happenings which never made it into the previous two sections for various reasons. Where too start?
- Sparrow and I are bringing the 'Parkour' scene to Perth after a recent late night sess through the streets of Claremont, where we were likened to the notorious Claremont serial killer (not sure how running can be likened to murder?). The Indian run lasted for a fair while as we made our way from Clubba to the Showgrounds Station where we just made it to the last train outta town. The journey took us down roads, over fences, across bridges and even back in time. We were also confronted by a gang of midgets roaming the streets and many other shady characters. Our second session of Parkour is likely to be soon in the streets near you.

- Bro is having a New Year's Party at his house (thought I would throw it out there)

- I am thinking about going to Malaysia in January/February; was wondering if any of you boys were keen?

Sorry for the lack of visualisations in the blog; didn't have any Wedge pics/vids to put up, probably a good thing for legal reasons.

Wedge

2008-11-14T23:42:00.006+09:00

So, with wedge less than one week away, and a fresh word that banyard will not be pulling a shifty and coming up with us, I thought it was time to write my first blog for awhile.

Anyway, with wedge so close, much needs to be discussed, like whos bringing what. Like usual i shall bring the petrol, although i might put a child lock on the can so trav cant pour it straight onto a fire this time. Key items that will need to be supplied include;

1. Gas
2. Tennis Ball Mania
3. Massive Esky
4. Bicycles of the push variety, and possibly mini motor type
5. Drill
6. Tyre Mc Pump
7. Sick Singlets
8. Sandboards
9. Radio transmitter for music
10. pyrotechniques
11. Red cordial n tea towels
12. Cnat think of nething
13. falling asleep

As you can see there are many items of interest to be discussed.

On to other matters,
1. Hood still hold the Scott Diji Cancer trophey, as they rightfully should.
2. HH AGM is this tuesday coming at 19.30 at the one and only hidden creek.
3. Bird and myself have recently purchased BDO tickets
4. Diji will purchase one soon, hell be in for sure (he just wants to see Mr Taylor again).
5. Rise Against are coming to perth, tickets are $67.20. the concert is on the 24th of march, at metro city. I suggest coming.
6. Trav jagged some gnarly pay rise. $10 buck increase wtf seriously. Im very jealous son (ps i love aircon)
7. I have to go to kalgoorlie again, damn black negros
8. Click on the title
9. Bird u better not pussy out of wedge
10. Diji copied darren Glass in an exam today. U better hope he isnt a meathead dij
11. click on title

Im getting rather bored, and the blog is also getting boring. Diji finish nightfill already n come online.

OK, ALRIGHT, ITS TIME TO BLOG

2008-11-04T15:06:00.009+09:00

Yes, it is. With just 17 days until the wedge08 trip and about 2 posts to show for it. I thought I might make it just one more! Honestly this post isn't really about wedge, because generally they are ones with lists of things to take and things to do. Instead I'm going to focus on now, because as they say don't live in the past and definitely don't live in the future. So what will I talk about? How about what is happening in the gang we call Hillshood. What is happening? I really wanna know. I know we've all been ripped off by uni and have no lives right now so I suppose that is one reason why we don't know. I've heard the kalgoorlie duo have been living it up in their post Glandular Fever weeks, which leeds me to believe that nothing will stop travvo from having a cold frosty one. We all love a nice glass of the gold brew every once n a while, infact I try to keep it to 2 nights a week of moderate consumption OR one big night. Keeps me regular you see. And the goat! well the shenanigans that he's been up to lately! Well I wouldn't have a clue but apparently hes got 25 assignments to do and likes wearing bright yellow socks on occasions. Thats about all I know about the Kalgoorlie sector of HH. It has indeed been a long time since the crew has united as one and may well be a considerably long time to come, when everyone has the free time and the will power to get the good old harmless HH fun happening again. This summer coming is promising indeed, at present it's looking to be a wee rippa, so make it count ey.

As for the members residing in Perth, well what can I say about them... I'll go alphabetically to keep it fair. a, B - Biggles! he's not attending the end of year 2008 wedge bash but he will be in our hearts as he loves a good wedge trip. I'm just assuming he loves them because I love them and generally people love wedge so its a good guess. Anyway he's unable to make it due to travel commitments (dogging us) lol jokes, he loves Jane and we respect their LURVE. And instead he's traveling to new zealand to be with the lovely Jane. Whats that? a proposal? I don't think so just yet guys come on now! (although I am taking bets, any takers?) Ok not really! I saw the Big-les at the end of semester bash the other day, he was rowdy as usual, loves a swan draught that bloke, quite the beer connoisseur if you ask me. So that's Biggles, don't we love him, yes. AAAAAND B - BIRD has been invited numerous times to the wedge journey of a lifetime (Every trip is one of those) and it is apparent that he has accepted this invitation. This excites me greatly as there has been little occasions where the bird has run wild with the gang and hopefully release some underlying emotions. We could get emotional, depending on what emotion you're talking about, crying might be out of the question because I don't see and shoulders in the HH clan, we're a tough concealing bunch of creatures and some things need concealing. But anger, Whoh haven't we had some excellent examples of anger over the years, and maybe some more to come?! who knows? you see, emotion, it can be a spontaneous thing. c, d, e, f, g, H....

H - Hagro! Thats me alright. What can I say about me. Things are going extra excellent lately as a scholar. University is shit hard and yet I love it. I've been informed by 3rd and 4th year planners that the 2nd semester of the first year is the hardest semester so YAY for finishing, fuck yes and goddamn I hate how bullshit some units were. The only thing I would like to say about recent happenings is the lack of HH Interaction, Hagro misses the HH gang lots, even though they are just 17 days away, well most of them. So thats good news too I suppose. Just 17 days of which I am extremely ambitious for them to pass, so wedge can commence. Hmm what else, I went clubbing in the mint bar on the weekend and it was tits! I like cocktail bars, they are rather enjoyable, except the seedy cunts who try and rape girls on the dancefloor haha. nah thats the case in every club I suppose. oh and my room smells like shit! so I'm going to go and clean it now so that I can continue the write this blog without passing out from the smell.... Turns out theres a dead rat in here somewhere and Its fucking rank...

i, J - JISM YEEEOOOOOOOW. Lol I remember that was Jism's trademark of leavers 05. And it remains today. I have not heard a thing from the Jis in a looong time. Actually I did we briefly spoke on MSN a week ago, and he claimed to have assignments galor, I think he said. So anyway right now hes probably getting raped by exams too. Poor bloke. But hey I know a good story, Jism told me he n his mates got strippers to his house and had a booze up! haha guess how many mates? I think it was 3, plenty of stripper to go round! So anyway The jism is coming to wedge which I am glad of, it's good fun with the jis there, hes always keen for a drinking game and will drink anyone under the table im sure. I think hes been practicing.

J - Jason Sparrow. The sparrow has been an influential force of the hillshood recently. He has influenced me to consider to return to metro's fremantle! I swore never to return, but apparently they are having good time there so I may go. Big night coming up who ever is keen, Oh yeh Jas! I'm not sure what hes up to. I know hes working at woolworths stacking shelves like one of the slaves we are! It's terrible that one will resort to such a job. I mean as a nightfiller I know what its like, slogging it out for a pittance, putting your heart and soul into a job that only pays for your alcohol on the weekends. Lucky I'm being a dew right now and saving up for a binge. Wedge I mean. Speaking of which, did Jas want to come to wedge!? He didn't answer me last time I asked so I'm not sure. Anyway I'm sure hes doing well.

k, l, m, n, o, p, q, R - Russ! Being mysterious as always. We never know whats happening in the life of Russ, he's always either working, studying, or at the hidden creek. So what does he do in between these major events? I have thought deep and hard as to the possible hobbies and funny things he does during his long day. One would be whatching his giant TV. This is the most plausible option as he does have an extremely large television and a cool setup. Another option is one much like what I have been doing in procrastination. What we do during this terrible habit is beyond explanation. Sometimes I spring clean, sometimes I search for pron, I may go for a trundle to the shops and get my daily dose of baked beans or liquorish. Quite often it is just either eating and sleeping or just doing house jobs, I hope thats what he does anyway. I saw him getting a haircut the other week in the sando shops. I know how important his hair is to him so I will comment on how lovely his combover looked that day haha. But in other news, apparently the russ is studying for exams like the scholar he is. Oh and without doubt this wedge will be interesting because hes bringing his push bike. I might bring mine too actually just for all the hard surfaces, but I can see myself getting caught on the beach somehow. ..

I did the goat and the trevva in the earlier paragraph so I think thats about it.

I had too many coffees tonight. So I think its going to be a late one. Pretty sure this is the longest blog in a while if not in history. Post comments about whats up yall. in your real name haha.

Hags

Stepping Up to the Plate

2008-11-02T22:53:00.002+09:00

After recent talk of the need for a new post it was time for somebody to take the bull by the horns and step up to the plate. Who else better to do it than Hillhood number 1 blogger travvo. There has been a lack of news lately due to copious uni work but luckily its almost all over. This weekend has seen some binge drinking by all HH members in preperation for the northern migration to wedge. Whether it was diji in freo, lodge in a metro cocktail bar, trav n goat in kal or jim at connections(kidding jizz), we were all aclimatising our livers to the hardship of a wedge weekend.

This weekend I did something that I thought only diji was possible of, I was over 3 hours late to a pre planned event. After practically pulling 3 all nighters in a row or somethin rediculous I thought I'd get a quick nap before the ball that started at 6.30. So at about 4.30 i fell asleep, next thing I wake up at 9.30 with JB smashing on my door. "WAKE UP YA JEW" he yelled. Anyway I had a mild case of morning glory or should I say night glory and got out of bed. As I stood up I heard JB yelling " hahaha ur flying at half mast". The rat was peaking through a little gap in my door, a sly move that goat must have taught him. Anyway I get to the ball and the foods all gone, all the good booze is gone and every1 is pissed as, even goat looks pretty dandy. I decided to catch up my drinking a bottle of wine and some udl's. Anyway as things were wrapping up some dude that organized it tried to kick me out so I gave him a mouthful calling him a fat cunt ( which he is). At this stage a first year from my hall comes over n tries to kick me out ( i think). At this stage its a bit of a blurr but we got back to the hall where i confronted the 1st yr and abused the shit out of him. Now this said first year is a closet homo and I gave him a spraying about how he likes dick and jb and goat restrained me from attacking him. Can't remember anything about the rest of the night but i didnt get out of bed til 6pm saturday so must have stayed out late.

The next part of the story heads to Perth where the gang went to freo on saturday night. Now diji isn't one for moderation. His motto in life is "go hard or go home" and home he went after voluntarily kicking himself out of metros. But he went home after he went hard so i guess his motto doesnt really apply to this story. Apparently he spent 120 bucks on piss and was shouted 2 midori shakers so wasn't a bad effort. Diji's other motto is to exploit his parents generosity so he got his dad to pick him up at 2am while jas n kiel were too busy doin the lure n hook.

No other major events are worth discussing so ill leave it there.

travvo
No1blogga

Oktober

2008-10-15T16:16:00.000+08:00

It is that time again for HH's weekly wrap-up. Last night Biggles, Hagro and the Dij treked to what promised to be an unforgettable night filled with German beer, hot girls and rowdy rioters. It wasn't until I ordered what I thought was a German Beer that I realised my high expectations may fall short. But how short??? They gave me a Guinness...it was meant to be a German beer festival! I wasn't going to let a minor setback like that ruin my night. As I walked around to check out the scene I noticed there were a hell of a lot of nerds and not a heap of hot girls. And finally, as I made my way to the toilet I was greeted by two familiar faces, Spanner and Markus. OMG!!! This is when I knew I was in the wrong place.

I decided to drink my sorrow away with many daiquiris, and soon I was smashed like a turkey. Probably the highlight of my night was me and Big Les' intense dance off which drew quite a crowd. If only we had tea towels! For some reason I decided to head butt a wall, I still don't know why. Like most drunken nights I ended up on a roof, this time it was on the roof of the rec centre. I stayed up there for quite awhile, too afraid to get off and be confronted by the angry security personnel. Eventually I did jump off, luckily for me I decided to jump off the side which was only 3m high and not 15m like the other side. I also made a rash decision to walk to brother's house after my phone died and my usual lifeline (parents) seemed out of reach. Again I was chased by two men but luckily the fat fucks were unable to jump the fence and I made my way to safety.

Walk took a solid 70-80 minutes, I went stealth all the way even stole a bike from curb side collection..only problem was it had no chain. Gin and her mother rediculed me as I walked past their house however the joke's on them as they were probably raped as children.

In other news, AGM will be held sometime during November at the usual meeting ground Hidden Creek. Topics of discussion include Hidden Creek renovations, a restructuring of the Hills Hood hierarchy and also the annual HH draft (likely to be a ripper).

Today as I drove to uni, i retraced my steps from Friday night in my head. I think I may of walked through the women's prison across the road from uni and also those two angry men may of actually been security guards BUT still not sure!

Wedge is nigh; the first 5 places have been cemented which means there are only 3 more places left. Mr. X looks certain to lock down the 6th position sometime this week. X'ey can also choose between banyard's basement, the fridge, the roof, lodge's tray or Trav's closet (you seedy, seedy rat). That leaves two more places up for grabs, the ultimatum will be November the 15th for final numbers. Biggles is the first casualty to pull out of this years race, it just so happens that his departure to New Zealand coincides with the bi-annual wedge summit. Biggles' presence will be sincerely missed during the three/four day festival in the Hidden Sand Village, this departure opens up a door for anyone else who may wish to fill his spot.

For the first time ever I am actually going to pack before the morning of departure, by doing this I will be able to fill the gaps in my luggage with equipment which may be of use such as;

Bouder Rock
Glengarry medal
More than two days worth of food
Beer that actually tastes good after three days of drinking
Tea towel
The Hamburglar
And also a mackeral or two

Trav suggested to me recently that we should try and swim to wedge by being dragged 24km's north by a strong current, I have yet to sit down and analyse the viability of this option. I am also pretty keen on breaking into people's shacks and being a general nuissance, I have a few shacks already in mind. Also I think we should start a huge bonfire, like drag a shack behind Hagro's bravo and burn it on the beach...I wanna do something Epic that will be discussed on Wedge's facebook group for years to come.

Please comment this post on your thoughts

Miley Cyrus

2008-10-01T17:29:00.003+08:00

I was pressured into this blog by some tough guys that reside in the hood.

So wedge is rapidly approaching and instead of chronically masturbating I've decided to write the 100th Wedge post. What a joyous occassion it will be after the HH has been split up for the better part of the year, with the kal boys out rooting gins, lodge hibernating and diji lost in his own world (hibernating) for a while.

I'm sure much piss will be drunk which reminds me that I have to make some homebrews!!! This alcohol is sure to bring out some more ripper quotes such as

"What's new pussy cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!" JISM
"How ya goin!!!!" Every1
"I'll hit ya, ya black slut" Diji
" Fuck I'm a fat cunt" Goat
"What a fat cunt" Lodge
"You are my idol banyard" Trav

I think we should change the locks on the shack and give a key to peter and keep 1 for ourselves otherwise we may have to put up with banyards bullshit...

In other recent news I caught Glandular Fever. An almost always fatal disease that only the toughest survive. survivors are hailed kings by all and are knighted by the queen.

Diji has found new hope in hidden creek after an absense of over 6 months. It is not known whether or not the creek has accepted him back or not after rumours local abos have been frequenting the sacred site.

Lodge emerges from cave for an action filled summer. Good on ya son

Sparrow doesn't wanna come to wedge even though there is no footy and footy has been his excuse every other time. shameful

Hopefully brother bird will come to wedge to throw a bit of a spanner in the works!

It's All About Timing

2008-09-25T21:12:00.004+08:00

ALRIGHTY THEN ! ! ! The time has once has again come to begin the Wedge debate, who will be voted ineligible to attend the bi-annual pilgrimage north during the twilight of 2008. Once again I vote goat 'I VOTE GOAT!' I have been doing some research lately and it seems the last day of exams is Friday the 21st of November, last time we went during November we saw like two other people..I blame this on John Howard, actually no Kevin. KEEEEVVVVVVIIIIINNNN (SPARTA !!!).

Wedge Likelihoods (as of September '08)

- Trav 99% (Down 2% due to chronic masturbation)
- Brown Bear 94% (Up 9% winter is over, no need to hibernate)
- Goat 92% (Down 7% he is no longer essential for shack access)
- DIJITAL MONSTER 92% (No Change - a certain starter, only way he's not going is if he misses the bus)
- Jism 84% (Down 5% work commitments)
- Big Les 49% (Down 2% New Zealand..very disappointing!)
- Birdy 23% (Up 5% I'm not sure why)
- Sparrow 9% (Down 5% a very unlikely inclusion)
- Mr. X 14% and rising! (Up 14% at this rate will definately be standing in last week of November)

(these figures are purely subjective)

I think I'm going to draw a map or make a video or something

hump day.

2008-09-10T20:57:00.002+08:00

If only! no its only wednesday. And I thought (what a day to write a blog on my favorite site). No not really, I have recently been tuning into this fat loss/wedge announcement blog that we call Hills/Hood. To my astonishment there seems to be some kind of hostility between two key members! now what on earth could prompt such a thing between a bunch of smart, fortunate young lads. While reading this blog, I immediately thought of private school girls, you know why? Because many of you actually sound like them. Now this is uncool. There is 3 months until the planned wedge trip, and I am mighty excited. So excited I would say that I have been beginning to think of things to take, what kind of beer to consume, what kind of time consuming shit I can do up there and so on... END BLOG READING NOW

Would you trust this man??

2008-09-09T19:59:00.003+08:00

I was actually going to write a nice, long, light-hearted blog about how much fun Wedge is going to be. However, after reading Goat's previous blog, I have changed my mind and decided to take a different approach.

Recently, I have been browsing through some old documents and folders from my earlier days, some of the stuff I found is amazing! I found these 'Classic' Goat videos from my old phone and decided to post some of them to keep this blog interesting.

Wedge (July '06) - Goat's Awakening

Oh, Goat

I have more

Kalgoorlie Cup

2008-09-09T17:17:00.005+08:00

Now we all know diji can be a odd kid at times, but lately hes turning into a bit of a brown bear. The latest incident revolves around the dij and the kal cup. Kal cup is one of Kalgoorlie's most prestigious events, with ppl form all corners of the region dressing up n getting maggot. well anyway Lodga has committed himself to a weekend of fun, although until the diji commits, he might find himself disappointed, with no kal cup, and no chance to experience the great city of Kalgoorlie. the question needs to be asked, is diji gonna be the next brown bear, or is he gonna actually do something exciting this weekend.

Some rumours going around say hes got a date with this Shenoah girl, and hence cannot make it, but if so the dij should be proud and admit such things.

Now with the kal cup being such a popular event, it is important that tickets get bought early, both for the train home and the actual cup, so diji stop saying maybe or not even answering and just say yes or no.

Wedge

2008-08-27T22:54:00.002+08:00

The time has come to start the bombardment of wedge blogs, makes a welcome change from goats weightloss blogs. seriously that guy has anorexia. Anyway i think we should be getting brother birdy to come to wedge. Also biggles better come as he is quite a funny character. Im sure all the usual suspects will be there including rosco and haylz and tegan! hopefully the ban dogg doesnt tag along this time and spend his weekend trying to impress us with his stories of his wild youth. That guy talks more shit than lamo. Rumour has it goats girls will be there this time so hopefully he has another encounter with them. 3some maybe.

Anyway this blog sucks but its the start of bigger and better things

Fat Kent Update Number Uno

2008-08-25T14:14:00.002+08:00

The first of my progress reports is going to a simple ones, as I am just about to run up the hill in aim to gain fitness. This will aslo help with my weight loss, which is good. Over the last week I have stayed on and around a weight of 80.5 for morning weigh ins, but have spent some time in the gym so this may be muscel gained and fat lost keeping the weight the same. Due to a bruised foot, i havent done much cardio work, so the potential to loose more weight each week is there.

In other issues, trav fluked a poker win with some shifty flush's and other crazy stuff. During the week not a great deal happened until wednesday when trav hit the piss for no apparent reason and went into crazy/ angry/ uncontrollable mode and decided that breaking peoples rooms was definately the thing to do insted of assignments.

On thursday night, trav stayed sober to enable him to do his assignment, while i went out for awhile. The night soon turned crazy, with a fat Indian and an asian getting maggot. The asian guy left his room unlocked, so i got some revenge for the table wrap prank by relocating his stuff, and putting been bag beans throughout his room. When he got back he did some crazy stuff then passed out on the floor. The fat Indian returned some time later, probably after having a sword fight, and requested to go to maccas where he proceeded to order a jew rat burger, and tune the macdonalds girl. after a short while he got out of the car and started dancing in the drive through. After the trip to maccas, he decided insted of sleeping in his room, hed sleep naked in our common room. WTF!

Anyway I had been locked out of my room and had nowhere to sleep so i decided to do my assignment in travs room while trav, who hadnt started, went to sleep.

In footy news, the league made it through to the next stage of finals with a 25 point win over wycombe, while embery broke a nail, and as a result colts lost. what weak dogs.

until next week, ciao

1CRX-632

2008-08-18T12:08:00.004+08:00

Despite the contraversial title, this blog is quite simple, plain and boring. Today I have commited myself to a weekly internet blogging procedure, in an attempt to focus my weight loss cause. I have recently bought a set of scales( which weigh me in at almost 4kgs heavier than what my scales do at home), and I plan to blog my progress, while also adding stories of exciting events to keep the readers interested. I believe it will be a good thing for hillshood, with a high turn over of blogs meaning a higher rate of views and hence a greater cash inflow. Today I was only able to weigh myself at 12pm, but in the future I will weigh myself as soon as i wake up, and record my results so i can update the blog. I am led to believe that trav will also be partisipating in the weigh ins, although not quite as religously. He is lead to believe that eating maccas will cause him to lose weight faster than healthy food and hopes to prove that fact. Yesterday he was in fine form, having chicken treat once, and macdonalds twice. anyway I have an assignment to do (like i usually do when im writing a blog), and hence i shant waste anymore time procrastinating. Oh yeah trav and myself both weighed in at 81.3kg

KFC

2008-08-04T15:20:00.004+08:00

The title of this blog relates to the one and only goatman. No it has nothing to do with the copious amount of fast food goat consumes. KFC stands for Kalgoorlie Fat Chicks. Goat had a very near erotic experience with a couple of these monsters on Saturday Night. There seems to be a trend developing with members of the hillshood and FC in general. Two recent blogs have been dedicated to these Fat Chick Encounters (FCE) .It's just not safe to leave home on the weekends anymore. I propose a 3 strike policy. 1 more FCE and we will have to form a vigilante group and tackle the problem head on!

Anyway back to the FCE involving Goat. Was a stock standard saturday night until a FC tried a rather extreme pick up move on G dogg. She threw a condom on the ground and said to goat in the sexiest voice she could " Ayyye Bro, you dropped ya franga! " Now poor goat was pretty frightened but brushed it off. Minutes later the FC's friend who was also a FC came over to goat and said " Ayyyye Bro, You got a franga in ya hood!, my mate wants you to use it on her." Goat then apparently replied " Fuck off ya FB" but I am unsure if this is the truth or not. The Worst was still to come. The FC pulled the old reach around on goat hahahahaha

Apparently i got hungry and decided to leave soon after purchasing a drink. On the way out i dropped my beer from about a foot onto an empty glass on a table. Glass went flying all over some old sheilas sitting at the table. Good times had by all except goat.

Cos If You Wanna Run Cool, You Gotta Run On Heavy, Heavy Fuel

2008-08-02T00:06:00.007+08:00

Recently I have been asked to release more music, possibly for the Dij's upcoming documentary on how to become a millionaire in 6 months.

The documentary is rumoured to be a true story about a local hood boy who dreams of bigger and better things. His friends all laugh at him, saying you don't have a chance of making it big Russel, with some of this mates even betting 100 dollars on the fact. Poor Russel becomes as motivated as ever, scheming new ways to make money, how to rip people off and how to he is gonna stick it back in everyone's faces. After many days and nights spent in meditation at his natural temple, Hidden Creek, young Russel is ready to earn his millions. His plan is to start small, building a stable income base, where he can launch some of the riskiest and most dangerous economic moves possible in an ever cruel stock market. But for Russel this is just the start of things of things to come. Russel works around the clock, making stock trades during the day, and stacking shelves at night, he soon has raised his base income from a mere $4000 a year, what some of his mates were paying in tax at the time, to $50,000 a year. But for Russ this isn't enough, sure $50 grand a year is nice when you are 20, but Russ has different ideas. I wanna live while I'm young he says to himself, I want to have a million dollars in fluid assets by the time I'm 21. Now this didn't leave much time for regular methods of earning money, Russel had to think of ways he could turn his personal business into a global empire. Where else to turn to, but the Internet. The new television, the Internet represented a way Russ could reach the world without leaving his home. Like before, Russ started small, using the Internet giants like Google and rate-my-poo as inspiration, he soon made what some would say was impossible. His whole theory was built on economic potential, where there was money, money was to be made. But forcing your way into an already competitive system where the established big guns like eBay controled, was never going to work. Instead Russ decided to focus on the middle east, a places where money was aplenty, and much of society desired to advance in an ever growing world. To start off with Russ focused his attentions to the well off, but soon moved his attention to the his real focus, the Jews. In Russ's opinion, the Jews where the ideal target. To him they were like a clam with a pearl hidden inside. You could spend forever trying to open it, but in the end only the correct technique would work. After years of saving money, the Jews were just like clams, all you needed to do was to find a way to get them to spend their pearl. Only time would tell if Russ's plan would come to fruition, but time wasn't a thing Russ had lots of. Time was counting down to this 21st, and sure enough the Jews started to spend their life savings, and Russ was soon raking in the cash. At this stage Russ was well on his way to being a millionaire, but he feared it wouldn't be until after his 21st that he would hit the magical million. He needed to expand. With a growing reputation, and greater funds, it wasn't long before the world knew the name Russel Scoight. On his 21st Birthday, Russ finally became a millionaire, allowing him to celebrate like he never had before.

The documentary is also said to contain all the secrets into how to make a Jew give you money and how to make night fill pornos.

Anyway, the pending production and release of Diji's third major film should keep all checking back here for further updates. And as for the music side of things I think diji might need to find a new artist to produce the music for the film.

Now we are all back at uni I think i should do a brief wrap up of events of notice that occurred during the winter break.

1. Hood win back the Scott Dikjmans Cancer Trophy with a big win over an insipid Hills

2. Biggles ventured to the land of the long white cloud, and returned without getting engaged or nething crazy like that.

3. Birdman ventured to the land of Thai, and also returned without getting engaged, but did bring back some of the locals in the form of salmonella.

4. Scott did housework over playing Smashbros

5. Lodge slept and ate lots. Every time I spoke to him, he seemed to be eating, and when he stopped speaking to me, he seemed to be going to get some sleep.

6. Trav worked, got maggot, broke his phone, lost his keys, ripped his brand new clothes, yacked in his room, and drove from Kalgoorlie to Perth all within 24 hours.

7. Sparrow joined the blog.

8. Scott went to Melbourne and almost got raped by a fat bitch. Read blog entitled Melbourne for more information.

9. I planned to get fit and lose some weight, which was partially achieved. I lost 8kg and gained 3 complete levels in the beep test. The hard part will be continuing to get fit.

10. Jim got a new car.

I'm pretty sure they are the main points, and as I have run out of ideas, I think I might finish her off here.

Kalgoorlie Cup

2008-07-29T15:10:00.004+08:00

The hills have triumphed in the inaugural Smash bros KALGOORLIE CUP . The goat was outclassed by the superior kalgoorlie cup competitor on the day. Hills trophy cabinet continues to fill up after the win in the kalgoorlie cup.

Melbourne

2008-07-23T20:06:00.001+08:00

Time for another chapter. I'm still unsure whether or not to expand this site, which would subsequently increase traffic and revenue. The main reason for this is simply because I believe many readers will be offended ie. Asians and Fat bitches (keep reading). Hills Hood has never been afraid of a little controversy (See Corruption in the ranks), but before there was somewhat of a sense of anonymity throughout the site...times have changed. Recently, I found Hills Hood history on my parents laptop, after investigating further I noticed that there was search history for the name 'Dikjmans', which apparently linked HH with google. What was worse was when Old Man Dikjmans made a Hills Hood reference and called me a 'Hood' Boy.

So anyway, I was recently over in Melbourne/Canberra for uni...it was Good Fun! Melbourne was especially awesome, those people are seriously football-crazy! I have many stories, some good, some not so good. Drank more than I should of, watched endless hours of the security channel haha, was sexually harassed by a fat bitch (several times) and nearly got beaten up and arrested.

There was this girl who liked to stalk. I found this out first hand one fateful night. It all started out like any normal saturday night, drinking beer in front of one of my favourite shows 'Maury Povich'. Dom and I go down to shithouse retailer next door and stock up on some more $3 wine. Soon after we are joined by some other people in our apartment which included fat bitch and her token cousin. After much drinking we decide to leave and head off to some rediculously exclusive club, where the only way you can get in is if you suck the bouncers cock (seriously). We don't even bother trying our luck and head off to some bar in the heart of town. We were pretty pumped at this time as we realised we had lost fat bitch but our luck is soon to run out as we run into double whopper again (she must of smelt us out).

As the night unfolded I became more and more intoxicated and decided to trek it home after some disorderly behaviour. From what I remember (which is not a lot) I was walking home down one of the main streets in Melbourne when I somehow came across some guy's shirt. I must of taken it and continued to walk, later I was approached by 3 angry men who accused me of stealing and threatened to take me to the cops. We argued for awhile and I repeatedly denied stealing their shirt even though I clearly had. Eventually they got their shirt back and somehow also got my phone, they started walking off towards the cops with my phone, I followed behind and abused them. I offered the fag $20 but I didn't have any money so they kept walking. Then out of nowhere Whopper Junior came out and payed the tyrants. The bitch thought she was paying for me and tried to eat my arm, I told the fat slut to piss off but she stood firm. After several more attempts of trying to molest and eat me I managed to find my way back to the hotel. This glory was to be short-lived as I soon realised I had no keys!

I was forced to share the lift with this horny fat slut, she tried to talk me into going back up to her room but I refused. I quickly ran out of the elevator when I got to my floor. I sprinted through the front door of our apartment and locked it behind me, I felt a sense of relief come over me and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As I finished brushing my teeth I walked back to the main room to my bed (the couch), but to my horror The Fat Bitch from Hell was sitting on my bed staring right back at me! I double-backed and jumped through into one of the other bedrooms where I quickly jammed the door shut so the monster couldn't get in. All through the night I heard the door being beaten as she tried to break through, luckily though it never did and I got a good night's sleep.

In other news the Hood won back the Scott Dikjmans Cancer Trophy with a comfortable 16 run win in tennis court cricket.

Local Legend Signs Up

2008-06-24T21:38:00.002+08:00

An orginal member of HH has today signed a 3 year deal with Hill Hood in an attempt to raise popularity within the local community. This flashy character known as JC to many brings a much needed shot of life to the site.

In further news JC has been cleared by PFC physios and an almost a gauranteed win for Cougars is sealed this weekend.

Covering last saturday at freo metros, many lesmurdians attended but none provided any real action, the lure was in full swing and was a dancing machine; the Diji used his hawk eye ability to spot trouble for the floor crew which consisted of JC, Mac Daddy, JP, the Kiev, Milan, Mac Daddy's balloon which was busted some how and other lesmurdians.

Usual conflict occured with some gentle pushes with the elbow but all in all a solid performance. A certain hood member made his intentions clear not to attend the evening bash with A.E.W.D. which is a concerning trend. A final note the Diji was assaulted and chain lost, however it was recovered, police are looking into the incident.

SPARROW OUT.

2008 (The year so far)

2008-06-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

For those of you who are wondering why I wasn't in attendance at last week's Hills Hood challenge, it was quite simply because I received physical threats to myself and those who I care about from members of the Hills community before the match. From what I have been told, the subsequent victory by the Hills was tainted by accusations of unfair gameplay and cheating. This kind of behaviour would never happen or be tolerated by those who reside in the Hood.

In other news, Hills Hood has recently been approached by internet giants 'Google' and 'YouTube' in the hope of securing a Partnership with the number one blogger going around. I am still unsure whether or not to accept these dubious offers as I am quite certain their primary interests are only to gain cheap advertising and to release Hills Hood's strangle-hold on the online consumer market.

So anyway 2008 is nearly half way through, the winter solstice is only a few days away, everything is downhill after that. There is still a lot of fun left to be had during the remaining six months of the highly anticipated 2008. These events include:
- Kalgoorlie Roadtrip
- Possible Wedge trip after uni is finished
- Goat releasing his new hip-hop album (I can't wait)
- Playing in footy premiership (highly unlikely)
- Jason finally signing up to Hills Hood
- Receiving many checks from Google
- Summer (Fuck Yeah)
- Biggles and Jane getting married (Yet to be confirmed)
- Lodge reaching triple figures for no. of jobs
To round off this post, I will leave you with some memorable moments of the first half of 2008.

Dij and Biggles' Wild Summer Ride

Easter Wedge trip (Finally proof that people other than us actually go there!)

The discovery of a new Wedge shortcut (Takes about five hours longer)

Where the Legend began! (Curtin Beach Party)

And much more to come.
2008 (The year so far)

News Report

2008-06-15T23:10:00.006+08:00

Today i have recently heard that Scott MC diji has found a love interest. the rumour circulating is that c.amplett, no wait that's way to obvious, Casey a. is the lady of interest, with i quote, " look at this lovely lady" being said by the dij, to a well respected hills hood member, about a photo he keeps of her.

In other news, Kalamunda umpiring legend, Jimbo weasel, has been noted by the opposition for being a fat kent. rumour also has it that he has idolised local draft prospect diji ackermanus, and is now favoring the home side quite dramatically. if this rumour is true, Casey might have to battle over the highly sort after hood member.

Kalgoorlie's student safe haven, Agricola college, became a drunken's playground over the weekend, with one of the locals locking themselves out of their rooms, and going on a eating frenzy. items to be eaten were of high value, with a pie and a tub of yogurt, being the first to disappear from the fridge. reports are the offender was then caught by the owner of the food, who was leaving for work. with beer in hand, the offender claimed that he had just got home, when all reports are that he arrived 3 hours earlier and woke up the civilized residents.

Lesmurdie pizza chef, and 3 point specialist, Brenton b, is to leave to country on Saturday, in search of a replacement for long time girlfriend, Liz. it is rumoured that the pair have been arguing of late, with Brenton not liking her attitude to housework. it is a stressful time in their relationship, with Brenton looking for work so he can support a soon to be released baby and fund a near certain marriage.

the anticipation for the up coming exercise period is increasing, with suggestions hill sprinting will now be added to the participants workload.

young Biggles is heading back to the land of the long white clouds, n other crazy stuff, to have much sexy time, not sure if its the sheep or Jane who will receive the attention. the trip allows Scott to get a handy head start on Biggles for smash bros dominance, and it is expected that Scott is to be mysteriously struck ill come June 26.

astrology:

Aquarius - good chance that there will be lots of water this month, so you will be at home most of the time.

Aries - being the year of the tortoise, the chances of succeeding are slim, with a high work rate being required to succeed.

Libra - is a type of tampon

Gemini - it is your month of birth, but due to inflation you wont get many presents

Scorpio - who knows

in sports news, the return of bulldog utility, is set to occur in the near future and may result in a turn of fortune for the reserves, after a loss at the hands of the white indigenous team, wanbro.

I'm running out of things to write, and this blog has probably already gotten boring. but i forgot to include jism is loving the attention shown to him by miss uwa.

Challenge trophy heads to hills again

2008-06-08T11:54:00.003+08:00

A glorious victory was seen this morning in the latest hills hood cricket challenge all in suspicous circumstances. It all starts at 10am where all players must be present for the player registration, raising of the flag and the national anthems of the two areas. Strangely though, the hood was missing a certain player. We'll call him Scott D. Actually maybe a bit to obvious. S. Dikjmans. So we waited for many an hour for him to show before eventually news came through that the player in question had been struck down by cancer. It all seemed kind of sudden seeing as he was fine the night before. But thats cancer. It sneaks up on you and BANG right in the kisser.

We continued on with a individual match and averages of hills scores and against the single hood score which ended up with the victory being sealed 32-22. This then resulted in a new perpetual trophy being awarded at all hills hood challenges. The Scott Dikjmans Cancer trophy. The most important trophy in the world and sure to stay in hills hands for numerous more years. Shame goatman couldn't bring it home. Would have been an emotional, hairy acceptance speech but it was never meant for a hood member to win a challenge.

Let us all think of Scott in this tough time

I'll take one alright, take one right in the team.

2008-06-01T22:03:00.002+08:00

I feel like I've not been giving what could be called my "all". This may be the case, when referencing my post writing contributions to a blog named "Hills hood", it's true, but in other ways, it's certainly false.

I've got a few things to say about things these days, specifically important things. These are things that mean a lot to a lot of people. I noticed ads up on the HillsHood blog lately, accompanied by a large amount of new blogs, that I'd never seen before! Trust me when I say that I keep HillsHood under a very tight rein, so you can understand when I saw this young fledgling blog popping up, and nurtured it through its adolescence, how I would feel to see it take flight without my helping hand there to guide it.

It was the proudest moment of my life.

Do you know what else was the proudest moment of my life? The holocaust.

Not really, I wasn't even alive, OBVIOUSLY. I wouldn't be proud of it anyway, it was poorly rehearsed and didn't gain Hitler any allies, not to mention he lost in the end. Can't have been very good, ey?

I totally got distracted just then watching Carl Barron, also talking to Jane on webcam. Did you know I'm going over there soon? To NZ, that is, which is also to Jane. It's going to be awesome. Fuck damn I'm really tired hey. What is it with fatigue and its ability to sneak up on you like that. It's a bitch, that's what it is. I suppose it's what happens when you do fatiguing exercises, like badminton. Which I did, and was awesome.

Badminton is an awesome sport. I'm going to bed. Goodnight you.

Sampi....

2008-05-26T00:45:00.002+08:00

Uni really does suck alot of penis. The hatred of uni seems to be a common feeling between members of both the hills and the hood. Perhaps it is what is keeping this great gang alive. An adhesive or a special bond. Whether it's lodga slogging it out over planning an outback coon community centre, biggles busting out a 30 page report on butterflies, diji forging surveys or the kalgoorlie rats doin fuckall then going a week withoud sleep to get 5 assignments in on time I am sure that nobody is really enjoying it. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will be worth it in the end. We will look back at our time at uni and say " gee that was the life" or possible something like " fuckin asian rats" but we will realize we had it pretty sweet.

In other news i was shocked upon entering goats room and seeing a giant ball of pubes sitting proudly on top of the rubbish in his make shift bin made from an empty beer carton ( First carton purchased since arriving in Kal, possibly first carton ever.) Anyway i am scarred from this monster of pubes that is making me too scared to go to sleep. Everytime I shut my eyes it is just sitting there looking at me. It's one of those situations where you wish you were so maggot that all would be forgotten in the morning but I'm afraid the vision will be with me for life. He may have photos for others that would like to see.

Apparently Scott is working with alot of single mothers. I suggest he films a porno at work. There is potential for some big dollars cahhhhhh chink! Could possibly win the bet with goat. Porn is the only realistic way that he could make 1 million dollars in less than a year. It would also complete his other unacomplished goal in life of creating an internet hit. He could called it "Kala Milfs Gone Wild". Some of the dij's goals that he has already achieved include:

1. Appearing on Aus Funniest Home Video Show
2. Youtube Hit Video
3 Making money from the Internet
4 Farting in a public place(accidental)
5 Surviving pimarily off raw oats and pasta.
6 Winning a hills hood challenge
7 Falling asleep in a night club
8 Being a rat
9. Studying Goat
10. Appearing in a documentary in year 12 in Calc.

There is much drinking to be done this coming semester break. Goat now drinks beer since the price increase in alcopops so it could be his entry to manhood.

Hillshood just isn't the same with advertisements for everything from cars to holidays to adding inches to the little pecker. What was once a community blog has been commercialized just like everything else demetriou the cunt touches. The fat greasy wog has probably never played footy. Reminds me of eddie Maguire and Caroline Wilson. What the fuck! Anyway it appears scott is making some big dollars out of this so he better shout us all beeros.

while on the topic of footy i would like to point out that it is a great game. I would like to be playing right now but cannot at the moment resulting in goat and me becoming fat cunts. Goat is rumoured to have hit the 100 kg mark. Hes bordering on scott cummings, billy brownless, matt witham territory.

In other news Jism has been basking in the glory of being a hillshood cricket champion. As a captain of a side that has won all but 1 challenge he is surely to be inducted into the hall of fame and elevated to legend status a couple of minutes later.

Goats got a few love interests in his life atm. 1 lives next door to him, 1 lives next door to lodge and the other keeps messaging him and ringing him. You'll have to ask him 4 details.....

Jas is up to his usual antics. ?Invited me to the casino. Wouldnt be the same without the saturday night message from none other than JC.

I'm tired and my paragraphs are starting to consist of 1 sentance so ill leave it there.
Some thing to ponder, to wonder and to appreciate.

Deja Vu

2008-05-19T17:32:00.000+08:00

I am not a bigot nor am I a racist, but I feel there comes a point where racist comments are warranted...It is called 'Rational Racism!' I'm sure those of you who have been with Hills Hood since the start have probably heard me bitching about asians before Click here.

Again I have been put in a group with an asian girl which I don't have a problem with, BUT, again she has taken over and is insistent on doing things her way. The stupid bitch doesn't even trust me to do my part of our presentation, she has sent me countless msgs asking me 2 send her my slides so she can change them and rewrite them in mandarin or something gay and pointless like that. She is one of those useless sluts that you wouldn't mind if she was hit by a car or struck by lightning (I am getting frustrated just by talking about her!).

This all refers back to my original point about rational racism. I have constantly had trouble with international students at uni. I have found them to be very selfish and uncompassionate and they are constantly eating rice. The other day I was in a lecture when the guy in front of me (he was asian) pulled a packet of rice out of his bag and mixed it with some hot water, he had gone to far! I have seen some pretty bad things in my short life but that was without doubt the worst I've ever experienced.

For those of you who have already noticed, I have signed Hills Hood up to Google adsense. I mainly did this because I was bored and also as a basic experiment. I really don't think HH can generate any substantial revenue unless we relate all our posts back to a central theme which will increase Hills Hood's keyword relevance, page rankings etc. even then I think it is still unlikely that this site will make us all rich.

It is now 11.53pm, I have a presentation at 9am tomorrow morning and that STUPID ASIAN BITCH hasn't even sent me the Fucking powerpoint yet! The Chan even called me up today asking for my slides so she could email everyone the finished thing, so I sent that rice-bitch my slides and now she won't send me the rest, meaning I won't be able to see if my slides have been changed until tomorrow during our presentation. Deja vu?

How much do you love assignments?

2008-05-16T13:31:00.006+08:00

A lot? good, because now I can abuse you, and one thing that I believe tops assignments on the scale of things which apply unreasonable stress and pressure is group work. Now I know everyone just loves group work, I mean you can really get heaps done on time in a really efficient manner in groups, right? Sometimes sure, but in the highly likely case that you might be grouped up with a homosexual emo', I think you would answer differently. Don't get me wrong, I love homosexual emos, they make me laugh, alot. Theres something about the whingey whiney voice that really gives me the impression that they dont want to be alive. Which is true right? why else would they have cut scars running across their arm in a pathetic attempt to commit suicide with the ulterior motive to attract attention to themselves?. Who knows you say, i agree, who knows indeed, probably a behavioral psycologist.

To be fair I must contradict my earlier statement, he isn't exactly a homosexual but he sure looks and acts like one. Nor is he classified as 'emo' but hell, whats the difference between those emos and the other "different" ones these days? They are all trying to be minority right? While achieving quite the opposite. So I was close enough!

Before I stray too far off the topic (too late) I have to say I have been dealt a bad dose of group members. The above image depicts a weeks on and off work, sure it doesnt look like much, but fuck, you should have seen the method of construction. Theres this bitch who does work without consulting others, some Portugese son of a bitch who does night shift security and therefore ALWAYS runs late to morning meetings, the previously mentioned gay emo or near enough, and lastly a legend of a bloke who is too nice to be assertive. In a pickle? yes I am actually.

Now steering in a different direction completely, we have been commercialized! Some may not know this, but the beloved Hills Hood has been swamped in advertisements. Who is responsible? I think there is only one person capable, Scotto has been sitting on the conception of making money through the internet for a long time. And now It's actually happening! Infact he informed me that he made $2 from HillsHood alone already. This may not sound like a lot, but if you were to make 100 more Hillshoods, that would equate to $200. Not quite the goal of $1million by the time he's 21, thats for sure. So anyway the point I am trying to make is this, deception! Did we hold a committee meeting to pass this advertising on the blog? I don't recall, probably, but I wasn't invited.

Now we have established this ultimate betrayal, we can design an awards program for all contributers to this blog. One night on the piss per $100 cheque sounds fair to me, although it will not go far. Perhaps half a night on the piss. On the off season that is! Recently a random passing Goat and I discussed a fitness program that is potentially beneficial to all who participate. The goal is much like that of boot camp concept, as they call it in USA. Except I am tending to opt for the other proposal for "Fat Camp" Some of us are carrying more than the great game forgives. The great game I am referring to being Football, none of this tip-toe , pussy footed pansy shit they call soccer, I mean the real mans game, where a hand on the back is now inevitably a free kick. How tough is that! fuck all this shirtfronting shit, a real game has real rules, and this one takes the cake. Before I storm onto how football is increasingly becoming a game for the poo pushers, let me elaborate on our fitness concept that we have planned for the study break in coming weeks.

Week 1 - general fitness; jogging, kicking, endurance.
week 2 -Step it up into 2nd gear; pace running, skipping, bike riding and swimming.
week 3- Now we are burning; Sprints, weights, extreme Morman dancing.
week 4 -nothing stopping us; More sprints, weights and fuckloads healthy food
week 5- Drink some booze, been working too hard and have got an injury; Couple of cratons should do it
week 6- reflect on past weeks; Wonder what went wrong and return to original form...

Sad, but no doubt a very likely result of the plan. Well, speaking on past experiences, it is definitely what is going to happen.

So back to the great game, WTF. Dont go saying the game SHould be unpredictable and have varying umpiring standards, but no, I believe we should modernize the game with respect to umpires and tribunal. I am no the first to discuss this topic on a negative level, I am infact one of many, one of millions perhaps. We all want our point of view heard, and this is mine.
A serious review of the game is on the table, thats for sure.
I dont even know why im talking about afl umpiring, i actually liked it until 10 minutes ago, but for some reason i followed the ideas that footy is on a downward sprial. Of course i dont believe this, footy is healthy as ever, but hey, what would we all talk about in social situations if we didnt have footy antics. After all many of us revolve our lives around the great game, some of us believe football is what made us who we are today, this is true for myself especially. In beginning university this year, I'm sure I would not be passing if it werent for the tuesday and thursday training sessions. That shit keeps me going, Keeps me motivated. I think Im speaking for everyone in saying the weekend game is also a central focal point of our lives.

Recently I returned to the great occupation of 'night filler'. How great is that ay. Some of the shit we get up to on night fill, hoohoo i tell you what, we are a bunch of crazy critters. For example, monday night was my first shift, and I tell you no lies, we were allowed to stack shelves. If thats not extreme enough for you, we also crushed boxes. Now im not sure if many of my readers are familiar with the job of night filler, but its a long and disturbing process. I was very disturbed when I came across a broken can of cat food, that was rotting away with maggots and shit like that. Fuck yeh, imagine diggin ya teeth into that, yummy. Well the pays good and the conditions are pretty good too, so i dont see why i would want to leave, especially considering the convenience of uni/work ratio and times. Only downfall is I seem to be working with a whole lot of single mothers and strangely enough, single stay at home dads too. Haha those blokes are radical, sitting on their fat asses all day then coming into woolies to do a hard nights fill for a honest dollar.

Tell you what ive had just about enough to day for one night, its late and i need to submit this retarded model of a completely impractical and rediculous city concept.

Lodge

Kalgoorlie Pub Crawl (poor blog)

2008-05-05T19:44:00.004+08:00

So you like rice?? Speaking of rice, or more specifically Kalgoorlie, I think it would be an excellent idea to venture there in the near future for a weekend of good old fashioned drinking. I have heard there are many pubs in Kalgoorlie and also many seedy places, which will make for good fun. Goat has kindly volunteered his room for our stay, what a nice lad. To complement Goat's generosity, Trav has began production on another batch of his quality home-brew. This will hopefully be finished by the time we arrive (hopefully sometime in September).

So far it looks to be me, Lodge, Jism and most likely Biggles for the trip east. Goat is also eager to introduce us all to his exhange-student girlfriend who is yet approve of this meeting (she doesn't speak any english!). Their relationship seems to be going steady after a bumpy couple of months, maybe now Goat will actually tell us her name! Tatiaana??

Back to how things should be

2008-04-25T19:06:00.002+08:00

hills on the winning list of an absense of 1 round. The hoods list is looking thin. Appears to be a coup to get rid of captain paul after this years interzone draft.

3 rats, a goat and a brown bear

2008-04-06T15:29:00.006+08:00

We went to Wedge, it was good. Did shit which was good, some guy got angry..not sure why? Old boy Banyard was there, wtf aye?? He talked so much shit and he is a shifty dog as well. He got out of bed and went upstairs and slept on my bed and all of my clothes n shit. If your name is Banyard and you are reading this blog, "YOU'RE A RAT!"
I liked wedge and i am confident that 75% of those who went also enjoyed it..not sure about the other 25%. I have heard rumours that some individuals want to go up there by themselves for a week when the town is deserted, that seems a bit strange if you ask me.

Perhaps the most significant event from wedge was the ambiguous statement made by a prominent Hills member, which suggested a possible resignation from the HillsHood organisation. No one is sure what was meant by this sudden outburst, the only person who does has been hiding ever since. We saw a couple of dingoes up there which was a bit unusual and also many other crazy people. We also pretty much treked the whole way up there through unexplored sand dunes, that was pretty awesome!

HillsHood definately does not promote the use of propaganda on this site and in no way is anything in this blog of such nature. Apparently goat has a new interest in his love life. She is a nice German girl whose name I do not know..Goat won't disclose these details! Inside sources from the town of Kalgoorlie inform me that this secretive relationship has been going on for several months now, no longer will it be a secret lol.

(This photo was seized from goat's hard drive)

Redemption: Wedge Style

2008-03-16T14:52:00.002+09:00

I am bored so I decided to write this blog, which will be approximately the 182nd blog related to wedge. I am still feeling the effects of another night of heavy drinking which leads me to my second point; will I ever give up drinking??...Just kidding, I'm not really that bad! I think I may just bring goon and some red cordial to wedge instead of the standard carton. This may sound a bit controversial to some but I think this may be the way to go. I have been receiving many late phone calls and msgs from a bored and quite possibly drunk paul barnes, which leads me to believe that the G-man is setting himself up for some hardcore drinking this upcoming weekend. A side few have witnessed in their lifetime, but those who have definately were not disappointed!

Anyway, back to wedge. Unlike previous visits nothing has been confirmed yet. This is mainly why I am writing this blog, as a medium for communication. A certain person is becoming increasingly difficult to get a hold of seeing as he/she has deleted msn and seldom answers their phone (just kidding man). Also wedge is quite likely only a couple of days away and we are still not sure if we are actually going. I don't think transport will be a major issue nor is the issue of who is actually going. The only real major concern is for how long we are going for?

From previous experience we know that it will be as packed as fuck up there, clearly a positive for goat considering last November's antics where he made a horrible mistake in not accepting an invitation back to the shack from 2 promiscuous girls. He later learned never to interfere with the forces of karma again as he found a large snake in his car! This leads me to another probability many of us have been pondering..will Lodge go back for more! We were all quite shocked when we returned to the shack after a late night stroll, finding Lodge in a state of phychosis with a large hunting knife, well goat did.

In conclusion, I would just hope that this blog is viewed before it is too late so we can organise what we need to organise in time for Easter.

DIJ

JESUS GET THAT SHIT OFF MY SCREEN.

2008-02-20T18:03:00.006+09:00

I was obliged to post these rather humerus photos (that are definitely official and not photoshopped) in an attempt to take the massive photograph of Scott's greasy turd off my screen every time I view this site.

The debut.

Making the real slim shady look like a novice.

Proportionally incorrect.

Lodge out. AKA photoshop professional.

Overdue

2008-02-10T19:06:00.001+09:00

Last Wedge trip was pretty gnarly. Many laughs had, many drinks drunk and many shits shat. Jane survived her maiden trip to our surprise. kudos to her.

Back to the beginning. Goat had spent months talking about how his car would chop a landcruiser. These pictures tell a very different story.

So we finally make it to wedge after getting lost, getting bogged and then taking the long way via the tracks. Scott, making an early statement, drinks about 10 drinks in an hour. He then goes off riding on lodges piece of engineering marvel and stacks it many a time, returning to the shack laughing with cuts and sand all over his face and body. Apparently the crazy dutch bastard stacked it in front of some random folk and when they came to see if he was alright he got up rode off and stacked it again. 4 fists for that effort.

Another interesting event that night was the sand dunes. Scott was intent on starting some biffo but the only ppl around were 17 yr old "black sluts". The pussies didn't wanna fight so they caned off in daddys car.

Can't remember the order off things too much, probably coz i was drunk a fair bit of the time but we made a decent firework too, have to have some more pyrotechnics displays next trip.

I also decided it would be a good idea to pick up a snake that we came accross on the tracks. I am not sure why I did it or why i put it in goats car or even why goat filmed me putting it in goats car, but it occurred and made for a pretty funny story. Goat was paranoid for weeks, maybe he still is now, he even let me drive his car while i was off my nut to avoid the snake which had slithered up under his dashboard. Crazy shit i tell you.

Tried a bit of fishing but the conditions were shit and fishing drunk isnt all its cut out to be.

This is a pic of scott spooning biggles.

One night lodga smashed back a fair amount of booze and went off in search off bigger and better things. Goat got a feeling, sounds a bit suss but he could be some kind of psychic mastermind and went to search for Lodga who was convinced that he was being chased by mormons. Goat calmed him down with his trusty supply of rohypnol he keeps in his wallet, kidding man relax. Lodge lived to tell the tale and thats what Wedge is all about.

This guy returned to the scene of the crime....

Biggles was even smashing down beers. What an aussie he is.

Jizzbag smashed back a fair amount of booze. such a happy drunk. Look at that grin!

Goatmans car handled the tracks better than the hardcore 4wds but his claimed 32 mins from wedge to lancelin is a lie.

All in all was a good trip but the next trip will be far superior. Will we see any new faces? Any departures? who knows.. Only time and maybe Allah. Hes a shifty bloke.

Happy Camper

Nice hat

Tired

Mature Pallet

Dreaming of you

Pisstank

Old school

Sick DOGGS

crazy shit

2008-01-31T11:54:00.000+09:00

Pretty bored ATM. Even considered taking a helicopter ride, but then realized it only lasts 7 minutes and my boredom would soon return. Sure would have sucked coming out this way when there was no internet, foxtel or aircon. Which brings me to my next point. Saw an abo passed out on the footpath in the centre of down at 1.30 in the arvo. wonder what they did with their spare time before the introduction of alcohol. I suggest they may have spent a fair chunk of their lives doing poetry and algebra and shit. Crazy what booze can do to society. Apparently the irish were space aged when they invented whiskey, then became wife beaters... good on em.

Apparently goatman has abandoned alcohol, not very irish if you ask me, forcing scott to pick up the slack for the hood. Selfish Gman, how will u feel when scott dies of liver failure! also the 1 yr - half carton story is a pearler, you already have a reputation out this way hahahaha. Nah just kidding man. relax. Seems goatman had a brush with death. Makes you wonder what if? Like the time goat almost rolled the car at wedge and almost had a head on with a truck at leavers. Oh well a good story to tell the kids.

You negros better go to the pub next thurs night! ill be there at 11.30. give u lifts if u coons wanna get maggot.

I'll write a wedge blog when i get back with pics. I really need to get them off my camera b4 some1 sees them hahahaha.

Wedge at Easter. Good idea or what? not that far away really. 23rd of march i think is easter sunday.

Good Fun

2008-01-22T14:55:00.000+09:00

Hey There! It has been awhile since my last post so I thought it might be a good time to start a new one. Unlike most of my other posts, this one will not feature anything about Wedge or previous Wedge trips. I have only been back from Europe for about 5 days and I am already experiencing withdrawal symptoms...I also have the flu. Anyway Europe was awesome. As you can see the quality of my blogs on this site has gone downhill, half of this one isn't even in english haha. I don't really care as long as this site continues into the future...I haven't even bothered to re-read this post or edit it.

I get lost in Europe a lot yah. I go walking at night after many drink. I drink many beer, many wine drink and I go wild in club, I try to find way home and I go 'I no need taaaxi, I run home fast!' I run home in Pari after much free wine and many a cocktail. I keep a running but I not know where I go, I see black man so I keep run. I drink 9 beer on one hour Canal Cruise, I spend most time chat 2 barmaid and pretty blonde haired girls. We go walk in Red-Light District, many hot girls, I get lost again, I try to take picture of pretty, naked girls in window, like Johnnie I keep walking 2 try find others. I have a no phone, I forget to call up company b4 I go, so I not have reception, I try payphone but I not know number lolol. I slightly drunk walk round Amsterdam for many hour looking for 'Otel, I not find. Blackman in nice car pullover and give me lift yah. I go 'ok, I go to 'Otel' I say to taxidriver 'You take me to 'Otel!' he says 'I not know where hotel is'. He drive me round, he turn left, left, left, left again, Blackman know he get money from drunken fool. He drop me off, I sure I was not far from dropoff when I get in taxi, but I tip blackman like I tip pretty beer girl.

Many pretty girl in Europe, no rice girl, I see rice girl I say 'you not Europe...you go home!' I sleep on bus, I no listen to Joey when he say what to do. We stop at 'Otel in Munchen, I watcha TV yah, very funny haha. Brother in Shower so I not talk, we walk out of 'Otel he say 'You not dressed very well, we go out after', I say 'no we not go out after, we come back then we go out'. I walk on bus, I look different 2 people, I turn around and walk out. I talk to Joey he say 'We go out after' I say 'Oh no...I must change! I meet up later. I go back in 'Otel, I skip yah, I watcha funny TV again, I look outside it dark. I say 'Shit! I better go to station and catch train.' I walk outside I look for train I not find, I walk around I stalked by 2 Nazis, I feel scared. I keep walking from Nazis they keep follow.

I find train station after much time, Nazis leave. It is 6 o clock and I do not understand any Deutsche, I forget where I go, I not know how to get ticket. I spend much time try ticket after 30 min I get ticket and catch train. I get off train I walk outside but I go wrong way, I look at map and jump on train again. I get off train I not know where, I walk around, many people, I remember and I call Marky. He say 'I not know where you are, you not where you should be' I walk around and I jump on train. I jump off train and get on other train. I get off at Marienplaatz station, I walk through Munchen, I walk for while and I see big blue building, I walk in and I see Asian boy. He say 'HULLO I CHINAAAAA, I DRINK BEER, YOU GET BEER SCOTT!' I say 'Yah I make it HHHOOORRRAAAYYYY'. I get half a pig and many Litre of beer, I drink beeer very fast. I see Marky #1 and Marky #2, Marky #2 buy voetbal, he throw voetbal to me I catch, I like voetbal...very happy. I get surrounded by 2 fat girl. One fat girl take voetbal and put put voetbal down top, I say 'No No, you not put voetbal down ur top fat girl!', fat girl starts talking dirty 2 me and use many suggestive terms. I say 'I not want to have sex with you fat girl'. I convince fat girl to give me AN-NEE, I go walk with annee and I look for place to slash. I not find nowhere so I go in middle of courtyard, I walk back with annee.

I go inside and I see brother he say he not go out he go back to 'Otel, I tell him I go club yah. Asian boy drink too much and let me down again lolol, people leave and thankgod so do 2 fatgirl. Then 2 hot girl come sit next to me, I tell them we go out, they say 'Ok, we go out'. We all sit 'round table, I get free beer from Hungarian man, he very drunk. Anyway time passes and Joey (Marky #1) come back, he say we go. We walk too train station, I already been lolol. I no buy ticket but he say too buy ticket, I turn around to buy ticket, when i turn back everyone gone. I run to every platform I am told that I have missed them. I feel very bad I am lost and by myself again, I not know what to do but I keep going. I go up 2 ZGerman lady and talk English, she no understand. I start to dance she laugh and draw me map.

I get on train again to OstenHorff i think, I get off and not know where to go, I call up Joey again, he say 'You come to Q-bar' I walk 'round looking for Q-Bar...I not find. I get offered many drug but I do not take, after much wandering I talk to German and I find Q-bar. Again I find others I very happy, they not believe I make it by ownself again ha ha. Not many contiki left but one very hot girl, she very hot! I drink LIIT haha I drink many, I very drunk but Joe buy me more LIIT, he tell me to walk up behind DJ's and start dancing...I not hear very well. I walk up behind DJ, I do little dance, but I climb up on DJ table and start to dance L O L O L. I dance and dance but I get dragged off by 2 big German bouncers, they drag me away but I walk off. I see Joey and pretty girls they all very funny, they show me picture, I laugh 2. I get a bit wild that night, I see many crazy things but I have much fun, I also get to dance with pretty girl, she very nice.

Working on the holy day

2008-01-13T20:30:00.000+09:00

Working on Sunday really does suck dick, or spotted dick as lodga might say. You may point out that I have worked at the pizza shop on sunday for the last year or so but that is a different story altogether. That was sunday evening and mainly involved fucking around with goat n bird and eating pizza to recover from hangover. Waking up at 5.20 sunday morning is against gods will, even ask simmo. These crazy 7 day rosters fuck you over. You don't even know what day it is. The day of the week is replaced by day 1,2,3...etc depending on what day through ur roster you are. I just knocked off day 3. thursday is day 7 which means end of work which is good.

This blog is pretty shit. When i get back to Perth after day 7 i will write a good 1 involving wedge with photos, goatmans mystery story and a couple of pearlers that i will think up over the coming days.

SHOWED YOU

2007-12-24T19:50:00.000+09:00

So you thought no-one would post anything after Wedge?

YOU WERE SO WRONG.

I WILL SHOW YOU HOW MANY WRONGS YOU ARE.

What is love? Baby dont hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.

AWESOME.

2007-12-20T22:56:00.001+09:00

Just found out i could actually sign in all along with just my email address, which blogger failed to tell me. This saddens me greatly as many a post has gone unwritten and most importantly unread. Another cool thing i have discovered from this is that i can read all your attempted or unfinished posts! i never knew these existed, and yes I deleted my wrongly named blog 'Lodges undeletable Blog' for this very good reason; I no longer used it, viewed it or did so much as think of it for a long long time, and when i did I felt a lot of shame on my part, leading to the very hard decision of its extermination. Sorry Mangs.

Now let me start by saying that no matter where you are, you cant hide from your heritage, remember this blogspot made you who you are today and you owe blogger the respect it deserves. And dont go saying thats a rediculous exaduration because you're probably right and that helps no one, especially my argument. So where ever you are.. be it Lamester cleaning filters, Coongoorlie learning pyrotechnics, preseason torchure, cooped up in your extremely hot house or room with no or little relief, or even if you're taking some trippin' shit in europe and partying with Scottish log throwers.. you have NO excuse not to contribute to this blog.

So it turns out that wedge was all that we imagined and more. I was surprised how long our conversations involving the topic of shit actually lasted, a good effort everyone. Infact even after wedge when Russ, Sparrow and I went disco dancing at our wonderful Ruby Room, Russ told me he wanted to take a shit on the dance floor. Now this seems extreme i know, we might have even been able to take a photo of it with everyones feet around it, but i dont think he was baking one at the time. But when you think about it, considering Trevvo left a fecal gift in someone's boat, all of a sudden it doesnt sound that bad.

Realistically, we don't actually do anything up in wedge that we can't do in Perth. But as we all know, It, its the vibe the general vibe of the place that makes it special. That, and in wedge, drink driving is legal as well as street drinking, as well as binge drinking in just about any location around wedge. I suppose what I'm leading to is this, wedge wouldn't be wedge without copeous amounts of alcohol, and junk food. And I'm glad, because alcohol brings out the hidden personality in people. i.e. Trevvos abusive debating techniques or Goat mans funny Grud stories. And of course food gives you an excuse to get off your ass, and get it, or cook it, followed by eating it.

Before I continue, I want all of you to know, suduko is no game for the genius and let me stress to you how important it is to be sequential. As I sit hear trying to find the random numbers from 1 to 9 i keep telling myself "be sequential you dumb shit, it says easy under the puzzle, what are you a monkey? START WITH 1 MAN! START WITH 1!" I then continue to look for 7...

Getting bogged on the beach sounds like a pretty common occurance for inexperienced 4 wheel drivers but goat man was persistant that he would make it "yeah man my car will make it, piss easy" he probably never said that but it rings a bell... how wrong he was... This photo demonstrates goat mans failure as a 4wd legend. Now the story behind the picture is that Jism towed goat man out ATLEAST 3 times and we pushed him out a good 2 times. Eventually we found solid ground, but only after goat packed his dacks. To be fair Goat mans car performed better than Jism's and my car on the tracks so we drew even.

So the trip was good, you can't deny it. I first felt for first timers such as Jism and Jane, not knowing what to expect, but I have only had positive feedback and as far as I know there were no cases of cruel initiation or island exile. I remember my debut trip well, early last year I think it was, when we were so much more naive than now. Looking for a meaning to this confusing world... and finding wedge. Anyway i could go on for hours of how we smoked bongs on Height street and danced our way to peace using LSD as our weapon, but it didn't happen. Wedge was good until goat man broke my minibike! only joking I think it was a manufactural malfunction, Dodgy Pipes. It brought a bit of peace to the point, it was bad enough having moto X wankpoofs riding around at 3am, so a small scale atv with a sawn off exhaust would have added to commotion. Anyway we cant Dwell on these things.

Funniest thing I picture when i think of the last wedge trip is Trevvo with a beer in one hand and a snake of all things in the other, doing a Steve Irwin (rest his soul) inpersonation with a pretty big carpet python. Gotta give the bloke credit, it takes balls to pick up a wild snake in a iscolated place like wedge. Anyway the snake eventually made its way to goat mans car, WHILE goatman whatched on filming Travs crazy antics. Trav mearly guided the snake... lol. When trevv uploads the self explanatory footage to youtube I will update!

All in all wedge is fucking awesome. A lot of memories accumulate when I think of it, and they are the ones that really matter. It takes a night on the piss in the Casino, Fremantle, or North bridge to appreciate the vibe of wedge. When you think about it, the materialistic shit in nightclubs or bars are all a brief glance of your youth, and don't compare to the long lasting memories that apply to wedge. So live them up and I hope that one day again we venture north, to live new adventures, perhaps numerous times? time will tell...

the countdown

2007-11-12T18:32:00.000+09:00

there are officially 10 days til the next wedge trip begins. As the preparations get underway, there are a few matters and issues that are to resolved. one of the big ones is what time are we gonna leave and where are we leaving from.

other issues include:

1.who's gonna bring things like gas, petrol, toilet paper, tissues etc.

2.are we gonna bring nething to improve the shack

3.cant really think of much, but there are more things which we r bound to think of in the near future.

4. how many tennis balls should Jim bring

5. the list goes on

let the discussion begin

Corruption in the ranks.

2007-11-05T00:07:00.000+09:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand before you a changed man, I have looked in the face of true evil, and prevailed. I know that Justice has won a crucial battle against corruption.

Explain yourself you say? You are in no position to make demands! Crawl back to your hole vile demon, and pity your existence, for you will get none from me. You seek to unmask me as a fraud? I am afraid there will be no more standing on high for you dark one, your true nature has been revealed, and the world will know your evil.

But who am I to cast judgment upon others? I am but a humble servant, who strives to defeat the evils put upon this world by the dark master, and those who do his bidding.

I came face to face with four of these loathsome creatures 2 moons ago, and a terrible battle did commence. I did not stand alone though, A pious brothers stood to either side of me, ready to defend our honour, and shine in this wave of dark. Our victory was never assured, but we did put up a most valiant fight, and in the end, we had utterly destroyed the four dark servants, with only a few wounds to ourselves. Truly it was a day of joy for all we hold dear.

It is only now, with our wounds healed, and our stomachs full of victory wine and bread, do we find out the true nature of the beasts we faced on the fateful day. Not only were we outnumbered, but torture of one of the beasts has revealed a most terrifying plot to destroy us all.

Cougars premiers 07 says:
ok i cheated
Cougars premiers 07 says:
and still lost

So let this be a lesson to all those who would oppose our righteous fury! No matter the trickery you deploy, no matter the strength you wield, you will never prevail over the forces of good!

We are the blessed.

damn assignments- shit blog

2007-11-01T22:26:00.000+09:00

so i am writing a blog insted of doing the last bit of uni work for the year. with exams coming up, its shaping up to be a busy period, and with wedge only 3 weeks away, life is gonna b hectic. some interesting news is that simmo has pulled out of wedge(soft mormon kent) and biggles has got jane pregnant from cyber. also brother trevor has bought himself a massive esky off ebay, which probably wont arrive until after wedge.

in cricket club matters, g train has been nominated for club cunt, after a 15 minute training performance, where he had a bat and left. dean mann is still favorite for the award with atleast 5 nominations to date.

goatman music is due for an update in the near futures, as recording songs is so much more entertaining than studying... (i have started writing a song)

in other news, trav has been seen dropping the st bridgit's seedy guy off outside of the school.

its also your last chance to get earlybird soundwave tickets, with normal ticket sales starting at 8am tomorrow. lodge, scott, if u want cheaper tics, nows the time to get them.

less than a week til metroid comes out, which means biggles and scott are likely to fail uni.

poker night at jasons tomorrow night- be there if u wanna lose to the hood.

Hood are like the dockers

2007-10-29T23:17:00.000+09:00

They have a losing mentality and crumble under pressure but they are still an important part of the gang even if they just make up numbers hahaha. Anyway enough about that. Wedge is near and there are some dilemmas. What dates are we goin?

-We have some parameters. Last exam is on thursday. Trip ≥ Thursday

-Bird has to return to the wife for Monday Bird ≠ monday, tues, wed

-Angry Ando comes sunday Simmo at wedge ≥ sunday

If we went thurs to wed would this be too long? Could we keep shit cold that long? Will people be sick of each other by then? Will it be a good getaway from uni n work and perth shit. I think its a decent idea staying for a longer time as me and goat will be away a fair chunk of summer and scott will be goin to smoke some cones in europe over the festive season. Should be good weather and i dont think theres much on in perth that people have to rush back for.

So an option would be to go on thursday arvo or friday morning. Birdman drives to lancelin. Then on sunday some1 take birdo back to lancelin and we aquire angry ando and stay til tues/ wed. Thoughts? How long ot people want to stay?

Also gotta keep out shit cool and the fridge has carked it. Lodge has mentioned purchasing a 1k fridge but i dont think it would be the best buy ever, maybe goat can do some research. We could all chip in 20 -30 bucks and buy a sick esky that can keep ice cool for up to 2 weeks. Alternatively we could just buy fuckloads of ice throughout the trip. Im sure by the 3rd day people would just be stealing the ice anyway...

Other points of interest include:

+ Scott almost crashing into an asian.

+Scott eating Glue

+ Scott n bird trying to steal assignments

+Goat tuning his cousin.

+ Bird nailing 8 3 pointers in a game.

+ Lodge buys skim milk

+ Jim returning to form in cricket

+ Biggles quits subway and hands out freebies

+ Jason pulling out of wedge because of a lack of girls.

+ Trav attends AA meeting.

+ Goat spends 6 months wage on cricketbat.

+ Giumelli gets top score in cricket then gets golden duck.

+ Jane welcomed into Wedge.

+ Jane fearing initiation along with jim and bird.

+ Scott contemplating doin somethin rediculous such as running to wedge or spending a night on the island.

+ Lodge becoming a marathon runner.

+ Goat cited on numerous occasions at local private girls school exposing himself to them and peeping into the showers.

Origin of the mullet

HOOD VICTORY

2007-10-28T01:32:00.000+08:00

Tonight/this morning a great event occurred, the Hood defeated the hills in the first Wii challenge. this is the sign of things to come, with the hood showing some recent form in not only the Wii but also tennis court cricket, poker and most likely pool. some recent events have also strengthened the hoods standings in footy and basketball. it wont be long before the hood reign supreme over the hills in all facets of life and gang matters.

In other matters, Jism has added his name to the drivers for the upcoming wedge trip, as he hopes to tame the jackaroo by giving it a trashing thru the dunes. we have also discussed plans for brother Brenton coming to wedge, and it now seems possible, which would mean we go up on the Thursday(22nd).

Stay tuned for more hood victories and wedge news on hillshood@blogspot.

Whispy Woods

2007-10-14T19:58:00.000+08:00

The most important news to come out of the last week was the 90-90 run draw in Tennis Court Cricket between arch enemies Hills and the Hood today at Jism's. I choked and we lost an almost certain victory. The Hood will still earn much needed respect from this mediocre result.

Anyway, the election has been confirmed for the 24th, which interferes with our plans. The 24th is a Saturday, the Saturday we had planned to be at Wedge. There are several options which seem obvious - Go up Saturday afternoon
- Postpone the trip to another date
- Apply for an absentee vote
- Vote at Lancelin (not sure if that's legal?)
- Don't vote

The main reason why i wrote this blog was because i felt like drawing another picture, this one is a map of some of the important aspects of wedge and wedge culture. I did leave some key moments out due to the lack of space, some of these include: - Lodge shitting in a cup (top of the list)
- Me, Trav and Goat nearly getting run over by drunk yobbos
- Paul supposedly calling and leaving erotic messages on Ingrid, Brittany and quite possibly Finchy's phone
- Goat going absolutely crazy last time at Wedge
- That random Finchy look-a-like (I only put this up to prove there are actually girls at wedge)
- Strange, heavy breathing the first night we ever went to Wedge (turns out it was old man Banyard rooting a mysterious woman)

Sorry this is a short blog, normally we have a couple of months material to write about but i posted a blog last week so I'm out of info.

NB: The numbers in the picture correspond to the number of the Wedge trip.

Previously on The HH..

2007-10-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

Lodge completes All Terrain Vehicle.

Old man discovers a solid building has covered his dissabled parking bay.

Apparently lodge's arm and finger looks like a fat mans anus.

Russle settles for 2nd best for a hatrick in Poke-her.

The discovery of a new breed of goat, The gEMOat.

Further updates to come so stay tuned!

TO THE END

2007-10-07T14:16:00.000+08:00

So anyway, the latest news to come out of the wedge saga relates to one of the longest serving members of the Hills, his name is Jason. It seems clear that the stylish footballer has made up his mind and is adamant on not making the journey north this November. This greatly disappoints me and his absence will have a profound impact on this wedge trip. Over the last 18 months three members have made they're debut at wedge and none have left disappointed, the window of opportunity is still open but for how much longer is uncertain.

This could well be the last trip for several of the crew if not all of it, as everyone is heading in their own direction in the not-so distant future. This could be one of the last times we will get 2 spend together sinking piss and digging holes (No I'm not Gay fuck off cunt). If Marky Mark and the gang are going i will go to. If the reason why you are not going is because of the lack of girls, i believe girls there will be. Too far one side you become to scientific, too far the other you become a mechanical man...be water my friend. Wise words. One must find balance between reality and what is not real. Only someone with true courage could understand such a thing.

Neway back to reality. The definites: Goat, trav, me, lodge
The Likelys: Biggles, Simdogg, Jism
The uncertainitys: Sparrow, Bird and Jane

No gay music, No gay porn, No gay sex, nothing gay in general-if you are gay do not come! This is the fourth wedge trip in the last 18 months for all you staticians. I like to refer to this as 'Generation 2' (The post school days), Generation 1 obviously referring to the school days. I am obviously referring to wedge and not just life in general. Generation 1 was where all the wedge folk lore such as the mid-stength saga and Tegan's mum became legend. Many more historical events have been added to this hall of fame, the most recent being Goat going all-out and also the brit/finchy/ingrid calls...lol. Soon these will become legend and will certainly be passed down through Generation 3 (post-uni), I'm sure there will be many more stories to add to these after this trip.

As you can see in the diagram below there is heavy hills infiltration in the southern and northern quadrants. The hood still has total control over the top floor, this is 'Grove Turf'. If Sparrow decides to come he will most likely take over area 1, which could cause conflict towards the hood. Rooms 1, 2 and 4 are already locked down and are not open for negotiation, although room 1 can be used as trade bait (I highly recommend you do this Travis). Room 3 is likely to be the war zone and will ultimately decide these turf wars.

It seems there are certain members you have hidden agendas for this wedge trip, whether they are monetary, alcohol, religious, sexual or other, they cannot be kept hidden for ever! Already it seems hidden alliances are being formed...I'm not talking about the obvious ones. This trip should be about peace and not about dirty rat antics. There are many things yet to be discussed about this trip, they will be discussed in future blogs so keep checking.

wedge - the things to consider

2007-10-01T17:23:00.001+08:00

there are a few things to consider when it comes to wedge. like how the hell are we gonna keep 8 ppls meat, piss and other stuff cold when we struggled to keep 6 ppls last time. how the hell does trav plan to make a water slide, it is beyound me, and i have given it great thought, i think i even wrote about it in my recent group assignment. where is every1 gonna sleep, if jane comes then how are we gonna stop shift doggs like scott spying on her in the shower. other things to consider are; how can we improve the shack, what should we do in terms of initiation for the freshmen, whos gonna bring stuff like fuel, gas, mormon wacking sticks, ect. one of my thoughts is taking up an old couch i have to replace that dodgy one that is outside, it would be a good improvement, but may be hard to transport. another suggestion is to get some chairs for around the table, cos im pretty sure last time we were up there there was only like 4 good ones.

WEDGE

2007-09-30T16:01:00.000+08:00

Well I thought I'd join the latest craze, posting about wedge. It is better than assignment anyway. The trip is brewing to be a pearler. Could be a decent crew goin up, rapidly approaching double figures. Maybe a couple of motorbikes. Fair bit of piss and a water slide, it will work u non believers. Some issues to sort out include keeping all our piss and meat cold, and beds, where r all these rookies gonna sleep? Apparently scott will accomodate a couple in his bed but there could be too much weight and the second story could collapse. Goat is planning on unleashing just like in Northbridge. Biggles cant decide what hes doin though we all know he would prefer to be an owner operater during the wedge trip. There will be lots of laughs, tea towel rituals and some crazy events. There will be controversy and a couple of hills hood battles. Its brewing to be a big 1. Maybe this time we can successfully burn down wedge unlike previous attempts, there will def be pyrotechnics. The rookies will also be going through initiation. The veterans havent decided what this bunch kids has to do yet but it wont be easy. After this trip simmo will def be goin to hell. Damn work time. What is this bullshit.

Election time.

2007-09-30T15:41:00.000+08:00

Ok, there are 3 possibilities here. Vote on which one you want to happen.

1) Jane comes over before Wedge, she and I both come to Wedge, etc.

2) Jane comes over before/during Wedge, neither of us attends Wedge.

3) Jane comes over after Wedge, I attend Wedge in the meantime.

CAST YOUR VOTES PLEASE.

Also, WHO is coming to Wedge, can we get a count up, and the places available in cars please.

If this can be done ASAP so we can work this out for fucks sake.

Sick of this shit. Seriously.

wedge - the questions

2007-09-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

It apears that the date for wedge is the 23rd of november, although the 22nd is a possibility. There are a few questions to be asked, ie. will jason have a ute to drive to wedge? rumours say yes. this blog will hopefully draw responces which will answer these questions.
1. will biggles and jane come to wedge?
2. will birdy pussy out?
3. will scott go soft on us again and drink less than a carton?
4. will scott ride a mini bike from lancilin?
5. how many ppl can we bring in our motor vechiles, rumour has it that it may be 7, if we have my car and lodges, although i would prefere to only have 3 in my car. any thoughts?
6. will scott have even made a mini bike to ride from lancilin?

ey dere negros

2007-09-27T20:44:00.000+08:00

Again, it is me who has 2 post a blog 2 keep this site going! I've already had 2 revoke Giumelli's membership...don't make me revoke urs aswell. Anyway, shit's been going off lately:
- Trav, Goat and Lodge won big gf in footy
- Goat likely to be picked up in the first round of the rookie draft
- Goat taken under the wing of his idol Mario
- Goat's short-lived night in Northbridge (shakes head)
- The release of Goat's second album...can't remember wat it's called
- Lodge's awesome minibike
- And other unimportant stuff which may or may not be directly related 2 Goat

As you can see, Goat has been pretty busy lately...he also claims 2 have mastered the Wii during this period, I'm not so sure. I could seriously write pages on end about Goat, most of it untrue, but the main reason 4 writing this blog is because the end of uni is nearing which can only mean one thing. Wedge is Near!

So anyway, Wedge is fast approaching although the details are yet 2 be specified, it looks 2 be a memorable trip. The main topic of discussion is whether or not a certain female should be allowed 2 come, i will not venture any deeper into this discussion as my opinion is indifferent. It is also likely that several new members will be making their debut but first they must pass initiation, which is yet to be determined.

Rumours have been circulating throughout the hillshood regarding Trav's position in the wedge hierarchy. One of the rumours suggests that Trav should have 2 give up his luxurious room and sleep on the couch or risk being sent 2 exhile island, i personally believe these rumours 2 be vicious lies intended to stir up bad-blood between members of the hills and the hood. Shame on whoever started these rumours!

I have also heard rumours that paul (Goatman) believes he can skull half a bottle of any bourbon that we chose, if you really want 2 do this paul i dont mind...it is your choice 2 make! To finish, i will include some photos 4 those of you who dislike reading.
NB. plz note the lack of chips in Goat's possession in the recent game of poker!

TT

2007-06-29T17:03:00.000+08:00

I told you i would do it! Giumelli's membership has been revoked due to a lack of contributions to the hillshood community. For this blog to continue strongly into the future, tough decisions must be made and Giumelli's revocation was one of them! Let this be a lesson 2 some of you other hillshood members who think you can just cruise through these next couple of months without showing face. I'm sorry it had 2 come 2 this!

Due to Goats Tribute's huge success, plans are being made 4 an upcoming sequel. This will take time as most of the footage i have of goat was used in the last video. Like always, Ive run out of ideas for this blog pretty quickly so as a filler, Ive searched through some old documents and came across what i can only refer to as messenger gold.

-Goat and Trav convo last yr some time-
goatman says:
im glad i didnt say much
Trav says:
nah there were some classics
Trav says:
hahaha
goatman says:
like what
Trav says:
dunno
goatman says:
ill read the logs
goatman says:
what about my theories about y u would want me to ask her
Trav says:
yeah they were pretty funny
Trav says:
i was laughing so hard
Trav says:
danny is playing
goatman says:
ok
goatman says:
nice
goatman says:
oi man msg lisa and say if she wants to come down n play some pool b4 the game rock up at mine at 645
goatman says:
but im not having a bbq
goatman says:
yeah ur not invited man
goatman says:
jokin
goatman says:
lol
goatman says:
is scott actually gonna come down and watch?
Trav says:
yeah
goatman says:
lol
goatman says:
the reason
goatman says:
i m guessing is so he can see if lisa likes me?
goatman says:
or to pressure me into asking her
Trav says:
nah
Trav says:
i told him to come play
Trav says:
but danny is playing
goatman says:
yeah man i recon shed say yes to u neway but then ud just get annoyed at her
goatman says:
so u should ask her out
Trav says:
uve lsot the plot man
Trav says:
lost
goatman says:
lol
goatman says:
yeah
goatman says:
so u gonna come down play some pool
goatman says:
or go in pool
goatman says:
whichever is best
goatman says:
clownboy
Trav says:
yeah sounds good
goatman says:
i gotta go down and coordiate vb until rb gets there
goatman says:
cos shes got a lab til 6
Trav says:
hahaha
Trav says:
wonder if she'll fuck u over
goatman says:
lol
goatman says:
oi man it wont bother me too much
goatman says:
100 bucks
goatman says:
for doin nothing
Trav says:
yeah but if she doesnt tell u it ill piss u off
goatman says:
yeha
Trav says:
she prob wouldnt even give u the money
goatman says:
lol
goatman says:
she owes me 90
goatman says:
nah shes payign me 10 bucks to go down
goatman says:
and be there for 10 minutes
goatman says:
oi man im bein serious now when i say this stuff that i might or might not say
Trav says:
yeah...
Trav says:
elaborate
goatman says:
im not sure i like lisa
goatman says:
and thats y im not asking her out
Trav says:
bs
goatman says:
truth man
Trav says:
ur full of it
goatman says:
i dunno i cant remember what she looks like nemore
goatman says:
i sorta do
goatman says:
but dont
goatman says:
and like as time passes i dont seem to like her asmuch
goatman says:
then when we play vb again i seem to like her again the next day
Trav says:
uve changed
goatman says:
nah man
goatman says:
naver
goatman says:
never
goatman says:
im always the same
Trav says:
dont give me that
goatman says:
y not
goatman says:
its like 40 first dates sorta teritory
Trav says:
hahahaa
Trav says:
thats a keeper
Trav says:
scott will lose it
goatman says:
like each time i see her again i seem to like her then next time i see her its like meeting again
Trav says:
ur analogies r so funny
goatman says:
lol
goatman says:
figured out what the song was called yet
Trav says:
nah
goatman says:
the song and lisa are similar inways
goatman says:
u can remember it
goatman says:
but u cant remember the specifics

I know by posting this and the goatman video last week I may have left myself open 4 revenge attacks, but if this is what it takes 2 keep this blog going then i must learn to accept the possibility of a backlash. Also while searching through my old chat logs i came across some absolute pealers which i may post in the future but first i must find out if there are any outsiders who actually view this blog (unlikely) incase of another backlash

(Sorry its late...also not finished!)

2007-06-06T15:34:00.000+08:00

♥®°²·²³ It looks like im gonna have 2 go solo with this blog coz no1 else is contributing, therefore im going 2 make all my posts extremely biased!. . . so neway things have been pretty extreme lately ie. goat's extreme obsession with nintendo, goat's extreme obsession with goats and also his extreme crash. I have some pretty big news regarding goats singing career, apparently goat has started recording his second album! Rumours suggest goat has given away is classic freestyle/medieval style made famous by his first album and has opted 4 a more techno/pop ring 2 his new material. Many of you may be wondering when and where you can hear goat's unique lyrics being sung, luckily for you goat is performing karaoke tomorrow night at the last drop at approximately 930pm (for more info visit http://www.myspace.com/sffgoatman).