Kalgoorlie Cup '09

12 months after deciding against the 6 hour laborious trip east to the wife-beater and export capital of Western Australia, Kalgoorlie, we decided that the long journey was worth it if it meant we would get a chance to see the infamous 'Creep' move performed by Goat.

The trip was very long and very boring but Bird kept the crew happy with his retro 90s remixes. Jism made an early statement by downing a 12-inch monster seafood sub in Merriden, very controversial. As Jism was still finishing his super-sub we sped past a cop car which did a U-turn and turned on the sirens. I thought I was fucked but luckily the cops couldn't catch us and pulled over the 4wd behind which was also
speeding.

When we did finally arrive in K-Goorlie we followed Goat's directions and ended up nowhere near Agricola College.
"Turn left at the 3rd traffic lights" Goat.
There's like four traffic lights in the whole town and you still can't even get it right Goat! I guess we should just be happy that he wasn't asleep like the rest of the weekend haha! We all went to subway on the way because Goat had promised to cook us dinner which we were very skeptical about, it was surprisingly decent.

We went out soon after Goat's feast to check out the town. It was pretty packed and we were all surprised to see decent girls out. Funniest shit when all Goat and Trav's uni mates commented on how shocked they were to see Goat out lol. We all got fairly smashed and headed from Judds to De Bernales, nearly got into a couple of fights along the way. Goat left soon after getting into DEBO's followed by Jim, we were all unhappy with Goat's performance so decided to give Goat a late night beatdown.


We got home pretty late after planning a low-key night, then went in for the kill at Goat's room. The Top Dog next door to Goat's was angry that we woke him up and threatened to sanction Trav, so Trav ran through the hallway screaming and shouting haha. Some other random shit happened, but you must understand Goat, that BRITTANY IS HOT!

FAST FORWARD


Saturday, woke up realised my car keys were gone. I was pretty drunk the night before and thought I must of just chucked them in the room somewhere, no big deal. Jim woke me up by throwing up right outside my window. I soon realised that my car had mine and Bird's sunnies which was annoying as fuck. KALGOORLIE CUP MOTHER FUCKER! Snuck a couple of flaskies in and hit the wine from the start, smashed that down pretty quick so Jim and I went back for some more.

30 MINUTES LATER

Jism and I come back with another couple of bottles of wine and find Goat smashed. WTF? I have not seen Goat drunk for soo long it was a surreal experience. We met some girls from the guild who were complaining about being woken up last night by some yobbos screaming and shouting outside their rooms LOL. The races were good, Bird raked in some decent money and re-ignited his TAB addiction. Goat supposedly
got kicked out and we pretty much didn't see him again that night apart from a BEATDOWN.



Goat locked himself in his room, closed the curtins, turned off the lights and passed out at 8pm. He woke up with 43 missed calls. This was definitely the most controversial and the worst form of the whole trip. We went out again that night without Goat, back to Judds and DEBOs, met up with Sneaky and her hot friend, Trav and Jism stayed out and ventured to the Palace (Kalgoorlie Paramount), I was chased by some coons. Called Goat up for like the 30th time (literally) and went up to his for some late night Zombie action.

We were smashing out the Zombies, had double lazer and everything when we heard this loud, metallic banging outside the room. The door opens and this huge keg of TEDs drops on the floor.
" Oii man I carried two Kegs back and gave one to this abbo in the park"
That's not even the funniest part! Before we left DEBOs, Sneaky and her friend repeatedly told us not to wake them up that night. Trav and I go into the kitchen right outside the common room where they were sleeping and Trav throws the keg up in the air, smashing into the concrete floor. It pretty much woke everyone in Agricola College up, Hi-Larious!



Next morning whilst I was playing Zombies with Goat, Jim wakes up, walks onto the balcony and throws up everywhere. Classic Jism. I was freaking out pretty badly Sunday morning because didn't know how the fuck we were going to get home without any car keys. Luckily a good Samaritan handed them into the Police Station. All in all it was a Fucking good weekend!

Other Funny Shit
- We went to the Police Station Saturday night after the races, asked if they had my keys, he said no, as we were walking off Trav throws a can of wine at their window followed by several rocks.
- Eddie Mabo talked to Trav for 15 minutes on how to pick up girls, how to cure cancer and some shit about sharks. He then preceded to walk inside Red Rooster and continue his conversation with T-Rav for another 10 awkward minutes. We saw him the next day in Boulder so Trav repeatedly beeped his horn and shout "Eyyy Bro" out the window.
- Goat, Goat, Goat...for shame

Jews Galore

Well it's been a while, too long in fact. I have not blogged for several months and I'm in need of my blogging fix. Anyway nothing too major has been going on, mainly planning for future events. There has been some infighting amongst HH ranks which will have to be sorted out quick smart or disciplinary action will be taking. Discussion between Diji and myself has ruled out physical punishment for Goat since he loves pain. Hopefully all the gang can attend wedge again over summer like the good old days. Would also like to see the Birdman make the northern migration although I've given up on sparrow. Diji has vowelled to do something crazy this trip so it could be an incentive for any fence sitters.

After not seeing some of the gang for several months it will be good to see them when they come out to the Kalgoorlie Cup (hopefully I remember it). Bird, Diji, Jim, Sully and possibly Will should be making the boring drive out to the thriving, awesome and loaded with hot chicks town of Kalgoorlie (kidding but it should be a good time). Sleeping arrangements will be interesting but I think every1 will be too drunk to care. Probably will end up with 5 ppl in goats bed or somethin.

Footy finals are on the doorstep. Both Railways and the cougars finished on top by a long way and it would be shit to miss out on the opportunity to play in a premiership. There's a fair chance that Goat, Diji, Sparrow, Bird and myself could all play in a premiership this year. good shit. I'm just hoping I don't get dropped, really shouldn't have played hungover that time... There's a rumour circulating that the Currie boys might be departing cougars and heading to arch rivals High Wycombe... Disgraceful!

Gold Coast should be intersting. Contrary to popular belief and to Diji's disappointment belief I don't think any of us will be getting arrested. Should be a good trip and I am eagerly awaiting the crazy antics to come. I'm sure after Wedge I'll be claiming to never drink again but I'll have to harden up. This trip could see the G-banger going wild like when he first turned 18. His wild side has layed dormant for several years and his busting to get out. I can't believe Diji turned down the opportunity to witness this.

I almost forgot about Bird's birthday. This night deserves a blog of it's own. A few of the boys headed down to freo early to book into the hotel and enjoy a few beverages before the big night. Will, myself, Browny, Birdman and Sully cruised there in Browny's car and highlights of the trip involved honking at anything that moved and parking next to mad dog. Anyway after tricking the hotel into thinking we only had 3 people in the room we headed over to Little Creatures. Little creature served up some good but expensive food and dinner conversation revolved around how much Browny looks like the kids in Short Stack and how hot one of the waitresses was. Things got a bit rowdy with the waitress encouraging us to drink more and more... very sly. Anyway we made it back to the Hotel despite the rain and freezing cold and knocked back a bottle of Jager in about 10 mins. We made our way to Benny's and the night gets a bit hazy from then on. We met up with the Currie boys and got stuck into the cocktails. Next thing we're standing in the VIP line at metros and I can't remember much after that. Apparently I wasn't seen again so not sure what happened. Apparently all the boys had a good time and Bird spent half the evening smoking cigars, not the blue veined variety though. I made it back to the Hotel first at about 1.30 I think after stopping by HJ's for 3 large onion rings hahaha. I entered the room and there was a free double bed, a free single bed and a little tiny bench turned into a makeshift bed. For some reason I chose the makeshift bed.

The next part of the story is what made the night so funny. I woke up in the middle of the night and I could hear a girl's voice. I got up to investigate and I think Bird and Sully had just woken up too. Browny was in the bathroom porking some girl he'd brought home. After some investigation it was determined she already had a kid that was probably 4 years old already. This girl seriously had no self respect. The contents of her bag had been tipped all over the floor and her shoes thrown into the pool and all she did was laugh without questioning any1. Brown and her went back to the bathroom for round 2 while the rest of us tried to sleep although it was near on impossible with her moaning in the background. They emerged half an hour later and she made every effort to keep us awake while she searched for her missing shoes. She left a little while later, shoeless, stating " This is pathetic!!!!!!!" I stole Browny's spot in the bed as it was determined he was demoted to the makeshift bench bed. I thought it would be a good opportunity to get to sleep but Browny had instantly fallen asleep and was making a sound like a dog choking. I woke up the next morning with bird claiming I had spooned him during the night and was sleep talking, all lies I think. Brown and I set off the next morning in search of replacements for the items we had eaten / broken when bird had thrown at browny. Apparently each powerade was going to cost $8.35 if the hotel had to replace it. Ridiculous. We walked all around Freo searching for the items and had to buy different items from a newsagents and a cafe. After our mammoth trip we realised that there was a little supermarket right across from the hotel. When we got back birdy was showing off the bra he had found under Sully's bed haha. Anyway we left the hotel looking ultra seedy and returned to the car only to find the parking had cost $31.50!!! Browny sweet talked the philipino and we were off to begin the hangover recovery at HJ's.

Good times had by all, looking forward to Summer

Wedge October '09

There has been a huge recent revelation in the world of Hills Hood...WEDGE TO BE BROUGHT FORWARD!! This is true, Wedge may in fact take place during the second mid semester Uni break in early October. The second Uni study break this semester is over the week commencing September the 27th through to October the 2nd, this provides a perfect window for another wild, northerly adventure.

Important Dates:
- Saturday 26th of September; AFL Grand Final and likely big night out
- Tuesday 29th of September; perhaps the most important date of the year My Graduation Ceremony

Because of these contingencies I think the best time to go would be either the following Wednesday or Thursday and come back on the Sunday or Monday (If you are willing to ditch Uni).

Confirmed Guests:
- Goat
- Trav
- DIJI

Likelys:
- Jism
- Bear

Unsures:
- Biggles
- Anyone else

Unlikelys:
- Bird
- PFCC Spaniard

Please share your opinions on this topic.

The Home Stretch

Gday fellow Hills Hood companions, I have been urged by the sly dog Travis to write a blog about my recent ordeals. Considering I haven't written a blog for several months it is probably a good idea. A lot of this shit is about Melbourne...it will probably bore you.

MELBOURNE
A couple of weeks ago I ventured to Melbourne with JP and the PFC crew (PFC does not stand for Perth footy club). We also met up with the usual suspects along with some of their mates which included a 50yr old bloke by the name of Schoey...he was a funny bloke. Anyway, we arrived on a very cold and very early Friday morning, it wasn't long before the Currie boys were arguing between themselves (pretty sure they were arguing at Perth Airport before we had even left). We made our way to our apartment in East Melbourne which we arrived around 4:40 am and since we could not check in til 2pm, we had a long wait on our hands.

JP and I decided to go exploring but the PFC crew being responsible as always, decided to wait for the reception to open. The receptionist said we would be able to check in @ 10:30 so we quite literally loitered in Melbourne Central for 2 hours...just slept on those couches in middle of shopping centre. I could honestly write a fuckload on this topic but I'll try and keep it relatively brief.

The plan which we had arranged with Bird / Browny was to meet them at Crown Casino at 2 or 3am in the morning, directly after they flew in. This did eventuate! I expected big things from the Crown's two night clubs; Fusion and Odeon . . .Well, was I wrong! After some successful gambling I met up with the rest of the crew upstairs, we lined up for fusion after seeing a huge line of 40yr + couples lining up for Odeon. I got pretty smashed that night which I generally do when I drink LIITs. We were about to go home when finally Bird and Brown rocked up, JP, crack whore, Junior and Token went home whilst the remaining four of us ventured up the infamous King St looking for strippers.

We came across Bar 20 Showgirls (they were hot strippers not dirty strippers). Some stuff happened made it home from strippers at 6am, realised JP had been raped or was in middle of drug bust, Junior was freaking out...it was a good night.














JP just before 'The Incident'

Saturday was fun, went footy, shopping, did some Parkour and four-man Indian file, was introduced to legendary Schofield and Coxy, went to Bar 20 Showgirls again, got rejected by several night clubs for having WA drivers licences and for not being dressing like a gay fucking quoff, Junior and Token disappeared, went to St Kilda..more quoffs!
Met up with the usual suspects at Crown again and yeh.

Sunday was really messy and Monday we found the greatest ever Timezone even though it is not actually a Timezone.

Anyway, I really like Melbourne and I also really like travelling..pretty keen to go somewhere at the end of the year. Any ideas??


HILLS HOOD
Basically, the Hood produced one of the greatest come from behind victories in HH Tennis Court Cricket in the game's short history. The Hood once again hold the prestigious Cancer Trophy along with the T20 Cup, but not the Brown Bear Cup. I also hear that that the Hood destroyed the Hills in a recent Badminton exhibition match. Great work Hood!


UNI
I have finally finished my Undergraduate degree at Uni, now I'm going onto my Masters. I'm pretty sure most of you guys are in your last semester or are coming close to finishing. Fuck, I'm glad it's over!


CREEP
I was really disappointed last Saturday night when I called Goat up and was informed that he was on his way home and not coming to the Capitol. I was seriously looking forward to finally seeing the legendary 'Creep' dance move actually coming to fruition. But yet again I was left disappointed. Will I ever get to see that irresistible pick up move??


WEDGE
Yes! This is the other reason why I am writing this blog. I have heard a bit of interest has been circulating around the Hills Hood about Wedge Island. The last 3 years or so we have made the pilgrimage to the sacred spot bi-anually, however, this year we have not yet gone. I think this is a good thing as we will all be craving it more come November. I thought I would never again go back there after those 'fire' incidents, I feel I have matured somewhat and would never again do such a stupid thing (lol). If we do again go back to Wedge I say we get a big crew to come which includes the likes of you BIGGLES!

I think it would be nice and relaxing to go there after exams and let loose. BUT NO BANYARD!


OTHER SHIT
Trav walked from the City (where we all were) to Fremantle, the caught a bus back to the City, then another one back to his car (near Fremantle) and arrived home at 10am Sunday morning. WTF!

Jism's 21st this weekend...BE THERE!

Goat has called me several times after a big night out, but most of which he has told me has been proven to be fallacious. Disappoing Goat.


HIDDEN CREEK
The Hills Hood AGM will be held soon at Hidden Creek to discuss Hills Hood matters, namely Wedge. Stay in touch with HH for more information.

New adventures

New adventures abound! I had thought that someone else would make a blog post about this, but apparently not! The other day, my dreams were... well ok, not fulfilled, but it was pretty cool anyway (Let's be honest if my dream in life was to play badminton, I wouldn't have too much to look forward to). Upon many attempts to coerce the hillshood crew into a game of Badminton, which has previously failed, it finally happened! I was contacted by an eager party of potential challengers, and we played a game the other day, which was good fun! I was pleasantly surprised with the skill of my 3 opponents, despite it being their first badminton liason.

Although it doesn't really count as a hillshood battle I guess, but the hood Badminton armada won a resounding victory against the forces of Hill. Admittedly it helped that Hood had a fair bit more experience on their side, but next time, I think it will be a fairer fight.

It would be good if my former Badminton compatriots could join us as well, one of which is situated in the hills area, and one more in the hood. This might appear to be of an advantage to the hood... and I'm ok with that.

We will have to play again.

Almost Done Son

The end is in sight my friends.  With less than 3 weeks left in this semester, the time is near where we can finally relax and correct our sleeping patterns.  I'm not too sure why I am even writing a blog, when I haven't even started working on an assignment due in less than a week, especially since it makes up 60% of a unit.  

Anyway onto important stuff.  Had a good win in footy on sunday, downing the top team by 41 points.  I played pretty good, although didn't influence the game as much as i'd like in the second half, probably due to my unfitness.  Pity I wont get much footy in over the next 6-8 weeks while I'm back in perth as I was starting to get some form up.  Unfortunately hood had a loss to the hills team a few weeks back, but it was mostly due to the stacking of the hills side.  I got in the best on ground but got let down by the slack midfielders in the team.  Trav's footy career seems to have hit a road block after winning the inaugural neil flood medal, with a drop in motivation the major factor for his lack of training in recent weeks.  

The Kalgoorlie crew should be returning to Perth in the near future, and Jism has already called for a HH challenge.  Not too sure how possible its gonna be with exams n stuff but I like his enthusiasm considering he is gonna lose.  

The commerce crew is off to melbourne to contract the swine flu in a couple of weeks, while Diji is expected to miss the trip due to the likelihood  that he will be admitted to rehab for his mother addiction before the trip commences.  

Anyway we will need to start planning a foreign trip for the end of the year soon, and with diji's recent statement about africa/asia, a new destination may need to be considered.