2010

Dear Hills Hood Faithfuls,

It is now the year twenty-ten, and to get the ball rolling on what could be the breakthrough year for the HH Blog site, a ripper first blog is needed to launch our site into international stardom. As nothing of real interest has occurred this side of the decade, I feel a recap of the celebrations from the years ending/beginning is necessary.

Let’s go back to December 30, the night before the night of interest.

It was a cool summer evening (by Australian standards for our 27 countries worth of international readers) and I was loitering on MSN as per usual when nothing exciting is on TV. I was having a conversation with Trevor, about how shady Diji is no doubt, when suddenly he asks “wanna go to Wedge for New Years?" Now my first thoughts of spending new years at Wedge were of Banyard locking us in the shack and telling stories from his imaginary youth while sending pictures of his undoubtedly STD ridden little fella to Finchy. As you can see, I was rather sceptic of the idea at the time, but after Trevor mentioned his near certain love life was going, along with a host of other familiar character such as JB and Ben Tuckey, I said I'll pull some strings n get the accommodation sorted in the morning. By this stage it was rather late, and by the time I got to sleep it was 3 am.

Moving forward to December 31, the day of the night of interest.

As arranged the night before, Trevor gives me a wakeup call at 8 am, which I answer and go back to sleep, citing the fact that Banyard was likely to be asleep or jacking it at 8 am in the morning and wouldn't answer his phone. The next hour of sleep was bliss, but far too short, and at 9 am I was back awake, phone in hand doing the ring around to get the wedge shack for the big night. Banyard was still unavailable at this time, so I just left my number, and hoped he didn't answer due to the fact he didn't have reception as he was already in Wedge. Luckily the Bandawg rang back within the hour and stuttered his way to saying the shack was free for use.

With confirmation received for use of the shack, the next task was convincing Jism to join the crew. To start off I attempted to reason with the stubborn Hills member, using arguments such as “why would you want to bring in the new year surrounded by 60 year old Asian women with chronic gambling addictions” and “If you don’t come to wedge you’re gay.” Not a single argument seemed to work, and just as I was about to give up hope the line, “wedge is way better than the Cas,” was uttered via msn to Jism’s eyes, which is true of course. All of a sudden the Hills member cracked, and we had a three man crew set for Wedge.

As we hadn’t planned this trip, we all had to do a Diji, and do some last minute shopping. I fanged it down to the local Foodworks to get supplies and for a change I didn’t get 5 weeks’ worth of snack food, although did end up with a fair bit of meat. Next stop was the Bottleo, where I picked up a cheap and nasty carton of cider, thinking Trevor was getting me a block of export from celebrations for a measly 30 bucks. I returned home to finish packing up the car, and when the Hills duo of Trevor and Jism arrived, they had already loaded their drinks into Trev’s super eski. It wasn’t until later that there had been a miss communication, causing the block of export to never come along for the ride. The fact that the Hills duo also mistook a BWS for a Celebrations store, and never actually got any export made the matter pretty funny.

The drive there was pretty standard apart from the fact that we went a completely different route, due to Trevor requiring to return books to university about a month late. Driving into Curtin, there was an Asian being a retard n walking down the road while two cars tried to drive past each other. One of those cars was mine, and as we passed the Asian, Trevor smashed down on the horn, the guy probably shat himself. The only problem was the guy was bound to pass our parking spot, and he also crossed Trev’s and Jism’s path as they tried to return books. Luckily no confrontation ensued, as he was definitely way to buff for Trevor and Jism to handle (jks).

We get into Lancelin at about 3, to find the road barricaded by cops, checking for unregistered vehicles and drink driving, and seeing we were all good we passed straight through to the bakery. Jism and Trevor went into the bakery to get a feed, while I let down the tires for some mild off-roading. Trev came back first with a sausage roll, before Jism came back with my order of a steak and onion pie, or did he. To my disappointment, the simplest of tasks was beyond the Hills member, buying me a chilli pie, which he thought was a cheese pie. Ridiculous.

Before long we were onto the tracks, and due to Jism’s misdemeanour at the bakery, I made life a bit rough in the back. The trip took longer than memory, possibly due to the fact I didn’t let my tires down very much, and the track was pretty crap. We went the full way round, crossing the new road twice, not realising that it was a massive short cut and time saver.

Anyway after a few bumps and stuff we made it into Wedge to find the place in chaos. At this stage it was like 4pm or something, and people were camped everywhere, bikes were fanging it around the tracks and the dunes alike. After unpacking the car, we went to scope out the place and find the infamous JB. Driving out towards the dunes we encounter our first surprise of the trip, seeing an Astra in Wedge. This surprise was multiplied as we drove past cars such as lowered Commodores, Magnas, Lancers and even a shitbox of an Excel. Obviously this meant that the new road was through to Wedge, or closes enough that two wheel drive cars could make it along a short section of tracks. As we closed in on the dunes, the general consensus was that Wedge should have been renamed tent land for the weekend. People were camped everywhere, some dodgy rats even clearing a camping site, damaging some of the precious local environment.

Anyway we make it to the dunes, looking for a green Challenger. There are cars everywhere; a green Triton is smashing nuts at the base of the dunes, while there were at least 25 cars up in the dunes trying to get a poll possie to watch the sunset from Reflection or Bird point. After driving up to the top of the dunes and watching a jeep get bogged and un-bogged we noticed the car of interest. We head back down to find JB jacking in the back of the car, well by jacking I mean sitting, so we get the shady dog to join us for a trip around the place. As we are about to leave the dunes, so nutter goes to start whipping a few donuts, but fails hard, in a company Ute, blowing the front tyre off the rim. Unlucky.

Anyway driving towards the beach, there are more campers and cars, the place is packed. We hit the beach and drive along until we find our track, and head back towards the shack. I almost crash into a Ute coming around a corner, but luckily both our cars had working breaks, otherwise Jism would have flown through the window as well as shitting his pants. With Jism shitting himself I had to smash it back to shack (didn’t want stains on my seats), and after passing a few cars we discovered there were also some girls at wedge for a change. Getting back to the shack, we show JB our pad, which makes him rather jealous, before we start smashing down some brews, or in Trevor’s case, more brews.

To Be Continued....

As I cant be bothered finishing this blog yet, ill leave you all in suspense. The next blog will contain photos and a recipe for making a wedge biscuit. Peace Nigs