Predictive predation.

What's going on? I'm not really in the know these days, 'cause I'm such a recluse and all? FUCK YEAH RECLUSIVE. Can you dig it? Personally I can't, Ive got a sore back, see? You probably can't because I don't have one! Let's be honest, my heart really isn't in this blog, but there is a reason for it. I'll probably come to the reason later considering I'm watching Tim Minchin in my other screen. He's pretty good! I should probably let him out.

These last couple of days have been pretty hectic for me, having a few assignments due and all that shit. I'm sure a lot of you are the same. I've been slamming out a few thousand words a day, and it's pretty fantastic, if you like that sort of thing! LOVE IT. Gotta say.

I kind of hoped to bang on a bit more about nothing, which is a bit sorry considering I've only written like 100 words (this is where you check, and find out that it has actually been exactly 100 words up to that point) (BUT IT ISN'T). So since today I can't really get into the swing of rambling, also since I'm still watching Tim Minchin, and he's worth my attention. This isn't as much. So I'll get onto the point of this post, which happens to be the topic of Hills Vs Hood, about which there have been numerous posts, and a topic which I fear needs redressing.

Now I've not been present at all the contests between these two warring factions, separated by a simple difference geographical position, but it occurs to me that there's a small bias in the battleground placement. From what I can tell, all battles held not at private residence, are held in the "turf" of the "Hills". I'd like to rectify by offering a relatively neutral alternative. As one who is not usually present in these frivolous pursuits of meaningless dominance over an invented opposing faction, I believe there could be an addition to the repertoire of faction collision. I believe that addition is Badminton.

Hartfield Park Recreation centre will be the venue for this validification of egos, and I will be the host. Call me sometime, I'll give you the details.

HillsHood expands to the footy arena + Zombies

A recent study has pinned the global finical crisis on the lack of spending caused by the zombie craze. With zombie killing controlling the lives of even our own digital master, the future for the world isn't bright.

Onto footy, the recent kalgoorlie derby was held at the sir richard moore oval, with the mighty kangas going down in the league and colts, but winning the all important reserves. The weak dogs in league and colts should be ashamed to lose to traditional rivals, railways, but rumor has it that they are just giving railways a head start to the season to make the competition even at the end of the year.

The ressies game, which could be called a hills hood battle, was a hard fought encounter, with railways(hills) bursting out of the blocks. The hills should have been up by 12 goals by quarter time, but some crab forwards kept the hood in the game. Trav had an instant impact as he scored a goal within seconds of coming onto the ground. Im not sure, but i think some money was handed over to the umpires before the match by the shifty hills member. Caught holding the ball, Trav wins a free kick for some crazy reason, then when his team mate tries to claim the free, the hood are penalized for throwing him the ball. Then when asking the umpires wtf was going on, the umpires decided Trav deserved to get moved a 120 meters closer to goal.

The second quarter was slightly better for the hood, with the midfielders finally going for the ball in contests. Trav continued to have an impact on the wing, until for some unknown reason his coach moved him to HBF to play on some crab. Meanwhile I was playing like a crab, mainly due to a lack of ball coming into the forward line, and some crabs deciding to kick to the opposition when coming out of the back-line. At half time the scores were still fairly in favor of the hills, with about a 3-4 goal lead.  

The second half was a very even quarter, with the hood making up a goal, to leave the hood just 3 goals down at the final break.  Some accurate kicking by either side could have put the game out of reach, but neither side capitalized on their opportunities.  After a quick stint playing on trav, I went to the bench for a rest, before coming back on in the midfield.  This may have been the turning point of the game, with some midfield pressure being applied, the hills started to show signs of weakness.  I finally started to get some possies, after getting fark all in the first half.  

The final quarter started with trav at HBF again, while I was in the middle.  I got the first clearance of the quarter, with a quick throw onto the left boot before getting nailed by the hills ruckman.  Not too sure how it all happened, but we managed to get a couple of quick goals, causing the hills to falter and start to panic.  I got a goal assist, and did some good work on the wing to set up another, before cramping up.  I got moved back up forward to have a rest, and with scores even, I took a mark about 70 out from goal.  I played on straight away, not knowing how long was left, ran to about 60 and tried to hit a man leading into the far pocket.  Due to fatigue or just crab skills, I hooked the kick, as it got caught in the wind and landed 15 meters out from goal, just to bounce and go out for a throw in.  After coping a spray from the full forward for not kicking it to him, our forward pocket collected the ruck knock from the throw in, and nailed a goal.  From there, the hills went into panic mode, and turned the ball over frequently, allowing us to score 2 more goals in quick succession.  The Hood ended up claiming the battle by 3 goals 3.  

In other news, Lesmurdie mazanod claimed this years C grade premiership in a tightly fought battle with helena valley.  I carved up the semi final, but failed to perform in the GF with the bat, but kept wickets in a way that would have made Gilly proud.

Ive been meaning to put this crazy pic up for awhile.  Its a screen shot from a video of diji roof surfing at wedge.  

This Picture is from the next slide of the video where diji has entered zombie mode and is trying to break in through the sun roof. 

When will those zombies learn.

To finish off this blog I think ill have to outline my disappointment  with Lodge n Biggles for not coming out on sunday.  U missed trav hooking up with umpa lumpa, which was pretty much the funniest things I've seen this side of the 2009.

Out of Control

I am very disappointed with all of you gringos....two posts this year?? Absolutely terrible! I'm not quite sure the reason for this blogger drought but I plan to change to resurrect this once noble blog. Actually i think there may actually of been three posts but that still doesn't change my point. Lovers and Lobbers wouldn't be happy.

So, what has been happening in the Hills Hood in the last couple of months you ask? So much it's just incredible. Goat jizzed in his pants (not the first time) haha but seriously.

This is what Trav has been up to.

What else you ask? Well, this just wouldn't be a Hills Hood blog without another Zombie pic.














Crazy Zombies . . . when will they learn.

A sign of things to come??














He really is out of control!!

Anyway, Sunday was Trav's 21st which began at Supa Golf, continued to the Brewery next door, made it's way back to Trav's and then finished out in the City/Paramount. It was a fun day all round.

Supa Golf/Brewery
There was a bit of heckling and sly tactics by a select bunch of people. Trav's bro smashed out a Hole-in-one. I still regret not doing a runner from that brewery, should of let Kevin pay for it! Nearly a couple of crashes on the drive home caused by some very calculated driving by the 'Rock God'.

City/Northbridge
Goat convinced me that the entire city would be packed with life. All the main bars Tigerlils, Capitol etc. were meant to be open . . . What The Fuck Goat??? The city was dead just like a ghost town. The only major pub open was Carnegies which had like five people in it and one of them I'm not sure I'd even call a person. Anyway it wasn't too bad, pretty much most of us got smashed, Bird rendezvoused with his old mate 'The Monster' and the lade we got from HJ's tasted a lot like vodka thanks to flasky.

From there we stumbled into Northbridge and like 99% of the time when we're in Northbridge we ended up at the Paramount. Apparently Goat spent $250 on drinks at the ol' Para and was forced to retire early because of extreme inebriation. Trav knew what he was doing when he entered the dance floor, it definitely looked very calculated (I will say no more). Pretty much everyone got smashed, some more so than others i.e. Jeffrey. Bird went back for another monster but was distraught to find the Jack empty. All in all it was a good night.

Also, easiest the funniest part of the whole day was when JP the 'Rock God', drove very slowly through two consecutive red lights without even realising. He drove at barely 30km's an hour as he adjusted his aerial and without realising, crossed through two very precarious intersections with no damage. Claps all 'round.

To round off this blog, I will just list some of the other major happenings over the last couple of months.

March
- Hood smashed Hills by 55 runs in the inaugural HH Twenty20 match
- Biggles turned 21 and had a nice night in Kenwick (no reported stabbings)
- Zombie epidemic reached as far as Kalgoorlie
- Bear seems to be 'Out of Action' again
- Cuz's low rider gets very low

April
- Hills introduce new trophy 'The Brown Bear Cup' which they win comfortably against single-man Hood team
- Hood intentionally relinquish the Cancer trophy after 10 month winning streak

Summer Is Over (How Gay)

So it looks like no one is going to write another post anytime soon, which leaves me the task of posting a blog and also to generate a bit of interest back in Hills Hood. In my three years of being part of the HH online community I have written many posts (most relating to either or both Goat and Wedge). However, this time, I have decided to write a post on a subject not relating to either of the above topics.

I have just started back at Uni this week after a 13 week break in which I did quite literally nothing. Well I did a little but spent alot of time during the day sleeping, watching tv and other things which were highly unproductive. Which has led me to the theme of this blog which is travel.

I really want to go travelling now and leave behind this crazy city for awhile. Step number 1 is to lock down somewhere to go during June - September this year, I think I will choose Asia. I was thinking Tajikistan or Israel would make for an interesting holiday, or perhaps even North Korea. I'm sure Goat would fit in fine into a Socialist-type society where he is forced to work like an animal. But seriously, I really want to go travelling right now.

Anywhere would be good really just as long as it's not Perth. Goat claims to already have half of Lesmurdie interested in an end-of-year Euro trip, but this could all change when Goat realises that he'll actually have to spend more than $20 for once if he wants to make it happen. Life is hard when you are a Jew!

Jew or no Jew, the fact is that Goat is not the only person to show interest in an overseas adventure. There have been rumours circulating that Hagred, is also eager to travel half way across the globe to see some of his relatives in North America and also Russia (they are Bears incase you didn't know). However such a trip would have to be carefully timed in order to avoid the annual Hibernation, which normally occurs as early as March and continues for as long as July - August.

It would probably be a good time to go in the 6 months after Uni is done for the year primarily because most of us will be done with Uni. THAT'S IF YOU WANT TO GO AS A TEAM??? We could always do it Amazing Race style and go in bits n pieces and complete road blocks n shit (not even sure what I'm talking about). I have made a very poor table to illustrate this point.

The Uni Race

• Bird - Graduated now back for second stint
• God - One semester left, might be going back for more
  
• Goat - Finished at end of year
• Trav - Finished at end of year?
• Sparrow - Finished at end of year
• Biggles - Finished at end of year???
• Jism - Half way through next year
• Hagred - Awhile off
  

So yeah...just some food for thought. Also I really want to go snowboarding. Anyway, in other news:

• There has been a couple of early absences at training which is not a good sign of things to come.
• Sparrow has found a new glitch in Zombie which will surely make level 30 a real possibility
• Spartan Rush never quite caught on. Oh well I guess there's always next summer.
• Hood retained the Cancer Trophy in a comfortable come from behind win over the Hills. That is the 3rd successive Tennis Court Cricket loss for the Hills. I'm just glad I'm not a Hills member.
• Goat is training to become a 'Pick-Up-Artist'
• Trav is seriously an alcoholic but I don't blame him because Uni is depressing.

coz you're hot then you're cold

Just to put the record straight, the title of this blog is not referring to my love of KP but is how I have summed up goatmans 21st. How could a man that 24 hours earlier had spewed at a family BBQ and done a speech that would have made Mr Blacklock and Martin Luther King proud turn into a reclusive mormon jew on 1 of the most monumental days of his life. Attempts were made to get goat rowdy by spiking his drink but they were wasted efforts. Goat was standing firm on being a pussy and there was nothing we could do. The night was pretty shifty, the fag DJ didnt do a shout out to goat, oompa loompa wasn't there (devs), sully is still as gay as usual, i had a spew and a random dancing midget bloke kept following Dij around. Atleast the taxi driver was funny. Reminded me of Rossi


There's a flood of 21st's at the moment with a couple of rippers just passed. BBQ's with mates and family seems to be the trend but I can see that changing as the Free Spirit doesn't have time for trends. Rumour is that ol Jimmy is already preparing a speech in an attempt to trump the last 2. In my opinion he shouldn't even bother as it will be a mammoth effort to top quotes like these "He is an Aussie Idol" and "Dream keeps me happy on the weekend". Seriously even goats aunties laughed at that 1. Goat then provided some more light entertainment when he decided to crank out the Makers Mark after a 3 year recovery program. Goat couldn't control himself and immediately poured himself a triple shot. Fast Forward a bit and sure enough goat ended up passed out in the shower. Rewind. The ol Goat went for a tactical spew in the garden that turned out to be not so tactical when he fell in it.

Other notable recent events include Diji lighting fires and doing a Connie when he fell off a ladder and kneed himself in the chops, Jas doin the hard yards at work, Lodge working to become more Aussie than Sam Kekovich, Jim sparks racial tension at the Aussie Open, Brother Bird shuts door on possible remarriage to liz, G Money got a 3rd ball duck and the T dawg wrote a blog and almost ended the lives of bird and dij after some questionable driving manoeuvres.

Until next time....

TURF WARS - Hood Style

For those of you who viewed yesterday's local bush fire and secretly suspected turf wars between rival precincts the Hills and the Hood, then you would of been right. Not really. A rogue gang from Forri started the multiple blazes, that accompanied with suspect tactics by the local Brigade, made for an impressive summer bushie.

I was totally oblivious to the trouble brewing deep within Hood territory on that fateful afternoon of Wednesday the 31st of December (New Years Eve), it wasn't until one of the top Hills officials warned me of the approaching danger and also a carefully planned out course of action which proved to be near fateful.

It all started around 1630 DST, I was preparing myself for a big night of festivities to welcome in the new year. T-Rav called me and informed me of the situation. We headed out and strategically parked at the lookout (Honey Rd). We ventured deep within the Sacred Forest only metres from Hidden Creek. We followed the tracks down the hill to a point overlooking the Seedy Park and the Lesmurdie Falls. At this point we had a clear panoramic view of the magnitude of this beast. There were two fires; one in Seedy Park and the other climbing the hill towards the Goat Farm.

We quickly realised the implications of this second fire and how the lush grass which Goat grazes upon could well be gone by nightfall. Sweat started to drip down my face and the adrenaline kicked in. We took a right and a left and made our way down to ground zero. The fire at Seedy Park had started to calm down thanks to the local fire brigade and the aerial contingent. As we continued down we were in clear view of the fire service and vice versa, only metres from the flames. At this point, something strange happened. T-Rav and I watched as a small burning log was still burning very precariously, untouched. The FB seemed to retreat. T-Rav and I watched as the the second fire on the hills grew with every passing second. The legendary Hercules tried several times to engulf the giant but to no avail.

Several minutes passed as our eyes were fixed to the north, but something wasn't right. The smoke in the surrounding air had increased and so had the crackling of fire. We looked back towards that log...this wasn't good! Only about 15 metres away from us where the smouldering log once was, was now a full-pledged wall of flames. We looked at each other, not knowing what to do. As I looked around to analyze the precarious situation which we were in I noticed a much bigger fire only 50 or so metres away.



We were caged in on both sides by two huge walls of fire. This time we only had two options; run or call out some water pokemon. Unfortunately for us I had already traded my level 42 Blastoise for some shitty sand pokemon. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! We ran, back up from where we had come down earlier. As we made our way to the track intersection I noticed the fire on the left had made it's way up the hill also and was about to consume one of the tracks.



We contemplated running the other direction into Hills territory but because this was a Hood only affair we took our chances against the smoke dogg. As we legged it along the rocky outcrop we saw the local ranger absolutely gunning it away from the approaching flames. We ran and ran and were seriously close to the flames towards the end but managed to get to Trav's beast in time.

I even jumped on the pushie at 3am in the morning to do some further investigating. After stumbling home from NYE celebrations I rode my bike to check out the fire. It was pretty cool, there were embers everywhere on the hills and looked like something outta LOTR or some shit. The flames were still going down in the Hood and so were the hoses.

DIJI out