SPARTANS HOLD

Oh Yeah, that's right. The Smoke-Train is back in town, it's been awhile too. Anyway, in previous years Hills Hood has died away a bit over the summer break, this year looked to be no different until the DIJ stepped in. This smoked up blog will single handedly save HH from seasonal mediocrity, but I must firstly mention how disappointed I still am, that Sparrow opted for his HH blogger license to be terminated. Sparrow's resignation although sudden, was definately not entirely unforseeable. This erratic behaviour is indicative of Sparrow's often unpredictable nature, which has consequently led to the deletion of both MSN and Myspace on multiple occasions, and many other questionable choices made by the Hills original. This being said, Hills Hood will continue strongly into the new year and more than likely prosper once again in the upcoming months. I even believe I have an assignment next semester which requires the creation of a blog (LoL) in such a case I may opt for the easy option and use Hills Hood instead.

What's been happening in the HH you may ask??? Not alot! I have taken an excerpt from Giumelli's prototype sitcom which depicts a lower-class family whom reside in Armadale:
Darrell : Shazza where are my fucking work socks????
Shazza: Look in the fucking laundry ya fat bastard
Darrell : Why are there a pair of clean fucking Versace underpants here?
Shazza: ummmmmmm
Darrell: YOU FUCKING SLUT!!!
Shazza : At least he doesn’t shit his pants like you
(For the full version just ask me)

He also plans to write another sitcom about a guy who gets cut off by an asian driver (LoL).

Back to the HH. I could write a very long blog seeing as I haven't written one for about two months now. To make it easy to follow I will break the remaining blog down into several parts;
- Wedge
- Where are they now?
- Other random shit

Part 1 - Wedge
Wedge was nice and peaceful, apart from some yobbos in a green 4wd. The highlight of my trip was NOT lighting bushfires (I have learnt my lesson) but probably car surfing on Goat's bad boy. Got to be careful about what incriminating evidence I put in this blog. Other points of interest from the trip North include:
- Jism knocking back a carton in a day (Very impressive)
- The team effort to steal Goat's car which was subsequently bogged by Trav in a faraway sand dune
- Sparky finding a rice crop at the Ice Cream Shack
- Goat NOT lashing (Disappointing)
- Sand fly made transition to roof rat
- Sea lion having a few too many exports
- The Wedge Fire Brigade NOT being called to our shack
- Some random dingo hiding in the bush next door

Part 2 - Where are they now?
It is that time of year again where everyone heads their own way.
Ratboy - Back in K-Town for a summer of hard yakka. Is still an alcoholic.
Goatman - Trying not to get fired from another job. Working in Boddington but back for some wild weekends (Please refrain from going to gay bars)
Hagred - Has made the transition from filling potholes to preventing potholes.
Jism - Working like a shy guy. Also planning a huge house party which will likely last several days.
Biggles - Flew across the Tasman yet again for another summer adventure. Finally pulled himself out of the gutter and found himself a job.
Diji - Has been working the fill pretty hard, is still a bit distraught after his idol Connie, blacked out on the top of a ladder (you work out the rest). Has also been getting up to a bit of mischief with Team Bird and Team Cuz.
Sparrow - Has been getting shaky after school. Scored himself a new job.

Others (token characters)
Giumelli - Writing rediculous sitcoms that will never get him a contract. Is now a heavy chain smoker.
Bird - Continually pushing his limits to see how wild he can get before reeled in by his caring mum or maybe even local police.
Sparticus Jnr. - Has reached level 23 and is looking slyer than ever.

Part 3 - Random Shit
This section is for all the other vaguely interesting happenings which never made it into the previous two sections for various reasons. Where too start?
- Sparrow and I are bringing the 'Parkour' scene to Perth after a recent late night sess through the streets of Claremont, where we were likened to the notorious Claremont serial killer (not sure how running can be likened to murder?). The Indian run lasted for a fair while as we made our way from Clubba to the Showgrounds Station where we just made it to the last train outta town. The journey took us down roads, over fences, across bridges and even back in time. We were also confronted by a gang of midgets roaming the streets and many other shady characters. Our second session of Parkour is likely to be soon in the streets near you.

- Bro is having a New Year's Party at his house (thought I would throw it out there)

- I am thinking about going to Malaysia in January/February; was wondering if any of you boys were keen?

Sorry for the lack of visualisations in the blog; didn't have any Wedge pics/vids to put up, probably a good thing for legal reasons.

Wedge

So, with wedge less than one week away, and a fresh word that banyard will not be pulling a shifty and coming up with us, I thought it was time to write my first blog for awhile.

Anyway, with wedge so close, much needs to be discussed, like whos bringing what. Like usual i shall bring the petrol, although i might put a child lock on the can so trav cant pour it straight onto a fire this time. Key items that will need to be supplied include;

1. Gas
2. Tennis Ball Mania
3. Massive Esky
4. Bicycles of the push variety, and possibly mini motor type
5. Drill
6. Tyre Mc Pump
7. Sick Singlets
8. Sandboards
9. Radio transmitter for music
10. pyrotechniques
11. Red cordial n tea towels
12. Cnat think of nething
13. falling asleep

As you can see there are many items of interest to be discussed.

On to other matters,
1. Hood still hold the Scott Diji Cancer trophey, as they rightfully should.
2. HH AGM is this tuesday coming at 19.30 at the one and only hidden creek.
3. Bird and myself have recently purchased BDO tickets
4. Diji will purchase one soon, hell be in for sure (he just wants to see Mr Taylor again).
5. Rise Against are coming to perth, tickets are $67.20. the concert is on the 24th of march, at metro city. I suggest coming.
6. Trav jagged some gnarly pay rise. $10 buck increase wtf seriously. Im very jealous son (ps i love aircon)
7. I have to go to kalgoorlie again, damn black negros
8. Click on the title
9. Bird u better not pussy out of wedge
10. Diji copied darren Glass in an exam today. U better hope he isnt a meathead dij
11. click on title


Im getting rather bored, and the blog is also getting boring. Diji finish nightfill already n come online.

OK, ALRIGHT, ITS TIME TO BLOG

Yes, it is. With just 17 days until the wedge08 trip and about 2 posts to show for it. I thought I might make it just one more! Honestly this post isn't really about wedge, because generally they are ones with lists of things to take and things to do. Instead I'm going to focus on now, because as they say don't live in the past and definitely don't live in the future. So what will I talk about? How about what is happening in the gang we call Hillshood. What is happening? I really wanna know. I know we've all been ripped off by uni and have no lives right now so I suppose that is one reason why we don't know. I've heard the kalgoorlie duo have been living it up in their post Glandular Fever weeks, which leeds me to believe that nothing will stop travvo from having a cold frosty one. We all love a nice glass of the gold brew every once n a while, infact I try to keep it to 2 nights a week of moderate consumption OR one big night. Keeps me regular you see. And the goat! well the shenanigans that he's been up to lately! Well I wouldn't have a clue but apparently hes got 25 assignments to do and likes wearing bright yellow socks on occasions. Thats about all I know about the Kalgoorlie sector of HH. It has indeed been a long time since the crew has united as one and may well be a considerably long time to come, when everyone has the free time and the will power to get the good old harmless HH fun happening again. This summer coming is promising indeed, at present it's looking to be a wee rippa, so make it count ey.

As for the members residing in Perth, well what can I say about them... I'll go alphabetically to keep it fair. a, B - Biggles! he's not attending the end of year 2008 wedge bash but he will be in our hearts as he loves a good wedge trip. I'm just assuming he loves them because I love them and generally people love wedge so its a good guess. Anyway he's unable to make it due to travel commitments (dogging us) lol jokes, he loves Jane and we respect their LURVE. And instead he's traveling to new zealand to be with the lovely Jane. Whats that? a proposal? I don't think so just yet guys come on now! (although I am taking bets, any takers?) Ok not really! I saw the Big-les at the end of semester bash the other day, he was rowdy as usual, loves a swan draught that bloke, quite the beer connoisseur if you ask me. So that's Biggles, don't we love him, yes. AAAAAND B - BIRD has been invited numerous times to the wedge journey of a lifetime (Every trip is one of those) and it is apparent that he has accepted this invitation. This excites me greatly as there has been little occasions where the bird has run wild with the gang and hopefully release some underlying emotions. We could get emotional, depending on what emotion you're talking about, crying might be out of the question because I don't see and shoulders in the HH clan, we're a tough concealing bunch of creatures and some things need concealing. But anger, Whoh haven't we had some excellent examples of anger over the years, and maybe some more to come?! who knows? you see, emotion, it can be a spontaneous thing. c, d, e, f, g, H....

H - Hagro! Thats me alright. What can I say about me. Things are going extra excellent lately as a scholar. University is shit hard and yet I love it. I've been informed by 3rd and 4th year planners that the 2nd semester of the first year is the hardest semester so YAY for finishing, fuck yes and goddamn I hate how bullshit some units were. The only thing I would like to say about recent happenings is the lack of HH Interaction, Hagro misses the HH gang lots, even though they are just 17 days away, well most of them. So thats good news too I suppose. Just 17 days of which I am extremely ambitious for them to pass, so wedge can commence. Hmm what else, I went clubbing in the mint bar on the weekend and it was tits! I like cocktail bars, they are rather enjoyable, except the seedy cunts who try and rape girls on the dancefloor haha. nah thats the case in every club I suppose. oh and my room smells like shit! so I'm going to go and clean it now so that I can continue the write this blog without passing out from the smell.... Turns out theres a dead rat in here somewhere and Its fucking rank...

i, J - JISM YEEEOOOOOOOW. Lol I remember that was Jism's trademark of leavers 05. And it remains today. I have not heard a thing from the Jis in a looong time. Actually I did we briefly spoke on MSN a week ago, and he claimed to have assignments galor, I think he said. So anyway right now hes probably getting raped by exams too. Poor bloke. But hey I know a good story, Jism told me he n his mates got strippers to his house and had a booze up! haha guess how many mates? I think it was 3, plenty of stripper to go round! So anyway The jism is coming to wedge which I am glad of, it's good fun with the jis there, hes always keen for a drinking game and will drink anyone under the table im sure. I think hes been practicing.

J - Jason Sparrow. The sparrow has been an influential force of the hillshood recently. He has influenced me to consider to return to metro's fremantle! I swore never to return, but apparently they are having good time there so I may go. Big night coming up who ever is keen, Oh yeh Jas! I'm not sure what hes up to. I know hes working at woolworths stacking shelves like one of the slaves we are! It's terrible that one will resort to such a job. I mean as a nightfiller I know what its like, slogging it out for a pittance, putting your heart and soul into a job that only pays for your alcohol on the weekends. Lucky I'm being a dew right now and saving up for a binge. Wedge I mean. Speaking of which, did Jas want to come to wedge!? He didn't answer me last time I asked so I'm not sure. Anyway I'm sure hes doing well.

k, l, m, n, o, p, q, R - Russ! Being mysterious as always. We never know whats happening in the life of Russ, he's always either working, studying, or at the hidden creek. So what does he do in between these major events? I have thought deep and hard as to the possible hobbies and funny things he does during his long day. One would be whatching his giant TV. This is the most plausible option as he does have an extremely large television and a cool setup. Another option is one much like what I have been doing in procrastination. What we do during this terrible habit is beyond explanation. Sometimes I spring clean, sometimes I search for pron, I may go for a trundle to the shops and get my daily dose of baked beans or liquorish. Quite often it is just either eating and sleeping or just doing house jobs, I hope thats what he does anyway. I saw him getting a haircut the other week in the sando shops. I know how important his hair is to him so I will comment on how lovely his combover looked that day haha. But in other news, apparently the russ is studying for exams like the scholar he is. Oh and without doubt this wedge will be interesting because hes bringing his push bike. I might bring mine too actually just for all the hard surfaces, but I can see myself getting caught on the beach somehow. ..

I did the goat and the trevva in the earlier paragraph so I think thats about it.

I had too many coffees tonight. So I think its going to be a late one. Pretty sure this is the longest blog in a while if not in history. Post comments about whats up yall. in your real name haha.

Hags

Stepping Up to the Plate

After recent talk of the need for a new post it was time for somebody to take the bull by the horns and step up to the plate. Who else better to do it than Hillhood number 1 blogger travvo. There has been a lack of news lately due to copious uni work but luckily its almost all over. This weekend has seen some binge drinking by all HH members in preperation for the northern migration to wedge. Whether it was diji in freo, lodge in a metro cocktail bar, trav n goat in kal or jim at connections(kidding jizz), we were all aclimatising our livers to the hardship of a wedge weekend.

This weekend I did something that I thought only diji was possible of, I was over 3 hours late to a pre planned event. After practically pulling 3 all nighters in a row or somethin rediculous I thought I'd get a quick nap before the ball that started at 6.30. So at about 4.30 i fell asleep, next thing I wake up at 9.30 with JB smashing on my door. "WAKE UP YA JEW" he yelled. Anyway I had a mild case of morning glory or should I say night glory and got out of bed. As I stood up I heard JB yelling " hahaha ur flying at half mast". The rat was peaking through a little gap in my door, a sly move that goat must have taught him. Anyway I get to the ball and the foods all gone, all the good booze is gone and every1 is pissed as, even goat looks pretty dandy. I decided to catch up my drinking a bottle of wine and some udl's. Anyway as things were wrapping up some dude that organized it tried to kick me out so I gave him a mouthful calling him a fat cunt ( which he is). At this stage a first year from my hall comes over n tries to kick me out ( i think). At this stage its a bit of a blurr but we got back to the hall where i confronted the 1st yr and abused the shit out of him. Now this said first year is a closet homo and I gave him a spraying about how he likes dick and jb and goat restrained me from attacking him. Can't remember anything about the rest of the night but i didnt get out of bed til 6pm saturday so must have stayed out late.

The next part of the story heads to Perth where the gang went to freo on saturday night. Now diji isn't one for moderation. His motto in life is "go hard or go home" and home he went after voluntarily kicking himself out of metros. But he went home after he went hard so i guess his motto doesnt really apply to this story. Apparently he spent 120 bucks on piss and was shouted 2 midori shakers so wasn't a bad effort. Diji's other motto is to exploit his parents generosity so he got his dad to pick him up at 2am while jas n kiel were too busy doin the lure n hook.

No other major events are worth discussing so ill leave it there.

travvo
No1blogga

Oktober

It is that time again for HH's weekly wrap-up. Last night Biggles, Hagro and the Dij treked to what promised to be an unforgettable night filled with German beer, hot girls and rowdy rioters. It wasn't until I ordered what I thought was a German Beer that I realised my high expectations may fall short. But how short??? They gave me a Guinness...it was meant to be a German beer festival! I wasn't going to let a minor setback like that ruin my night. As I walked around to check out the scene I noticed there were a hell of a lot of nerds and not a heap of hot girls. And finally, as I made my way to the toilet I was greeted by two familiar faces, Spanner and Markus. OMG!!! This is when I knew I was in the wrong place.

I decided to drink my sorrow away with many daiquiris, and soon I was smashed like a turkey. Probably the highlight of my night was me and Big Les' intense dance off which drew quite a crowd. If only we had tea towels! For some reason I decided to head butt a wall, I still don't know why. Like most drunken nights I ended up on a roof, this time it was on the roof of the rec centre. I stayed up there for quite awhile, too afraid to get off and be confronted by the angry security personnel. Eventually I did jump off, luckily for me I decided to jump off the side which was only 3m high and not 15m like the other side. I also made a rash decision to walk to brother's house after my phone died and my usual lifeline (parents) seemed out of reach. Again I was chased by two men but luckily the fat fucks were unable to jump the fence and I made my way to safety.

Walk took a solid 70-80 minutes, I went stealth all the way even stole a bike from curb side collection..only problem was it had no chain. Gin and her mother rediculed me as I walked past their house however the joke's on them as they were probably raped as children.

In other news, AGM will be held sometime during November at the usual meeting ground Hidden Creek. Topics of discussion include Hidden Creek renovations, a restructuring of the Hills Hood hierarchy and also the annual HH draft (likely to be a ripper).

Today as I drove to uni, i retraced my steps from Friday night in my head. I think I may of walked through the women's prison across the road from uni and also those two angry men may of actually been security guards BUT still not sure!

Wedge is nigh; the first 5 places have been cemented which means there are only 3 more places left. Mr. X looks certain to lock down the 6th position sometime this week. X'ey can also choose between banyard's basement, the fridge, the roof, lodge's tray or Trav's closet (you seedy, seedy rat). That leaves two more places up for grabs, the ultimatum will be November the 15th for final numbers. Biggles is the first casualty to pull out of this years race, it just so happens that his departure to New Zealand coincides with the bi-annual wedge summit. Biggles' presence will be sincerely missed during the three/four day festival in the Hidden Sand Village, this departure opens up a door for anyone else who may wish to fill his spot.

For the first time ever I am actually going to pack before the morning of departure, by doing this I will be able to fill the gaps in my luggage with equipment which may be of use such as;

• Bouder Rock
• Glengarry medal
• More than two days worth of food
• Beer that actually tastes good after three days of drinking
• Tea towel
• The Hamburglar
  
• And also a mackeral or two

Trav suggested to me recently that we should try and swim to wedge by being dragged 24km's north by a strong current, I have yet to sit down and analyse the viability of this option. I am also pretty keen on breaking into people's shacks and being a general nuissance, I have a few shacks already in mind. Also I think we should start a huge bonfire, like drag a shack behind Hagro's bravo and burn it on the beach...I wanna do something Epic that will be discussed on Wedge's facebook group for years to come.

Please comment this post on your thoughts

Miley Cyrus

I was pressured into this blog by some tough guys that reside in the hood.

So wedge is rapidly approaching and instead of chronically masturbating I've decided to write the 100th Wedge post. What a joyous occassion it will be after the HH has been split up for the better part of the year, with the kal boys out rooting gins, lodge hibernating and diji lost in his own world (hibernating) for a while.

I'm sure much piss will be drunk which reminds me that I have to make some homebrews!!! This alcohol is sure to bring out some more ripper quotes such as

"What's new pussy cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!" JISM
"How ya goin!!!!" Every1
"I'll hit ya, ya black slut" Diji
" Fuck I'm a fat cunt" Goat
"What a fat cunt" Lodge
"You are my idol banyard" Trav

I think we should change the locks on the shack and give a key to peter and keep 1 for ourselves otherwise we may have to put up with banyards bullshit...

In other recent news I caught Glandular Fever. An almost always fatal disease that only the toughest survive. survivors are hailed kings by all and are knighted by the queen.

Diji has found new hope in hidden creek after an absense of over 6 months. It is not known whether or not the creek has accepted him back or not after rumours local abos have been frequenting the sacred site.

Lodge emerges from cave for an action filled summer. Good on ya son

Sparrow doesn't wanna come to wedge even though there is no footy and footy has been his excuse every other time. shameful


Hopefully brother bird will come to wedge to throw a bit of a spanner in the works!

It's All About Timing

ALRIGHTY THEN ! ! ! The time has once has again come to begin the Wedge debate, who will be voted ineligible to attend the bi-annual pilgrimage north during the twilight of 2008. Once again I vote goat 'I VOTE GOAT!' I have been doing some research lately and it seems the last day of exams is Friday the 21st of November, last time we went during November we saw like two other people..I blame this on John Howard, actually no Kevin. KEEEEVVVVVVIIIIINNNN (SPARTA !!!).

Wedge Likelihoods (as of September '08)

- Trav 99% (Down 2% due to chronic masturbation)
- Brown Bear 94% (Up 9% winter is over, no need to hibernate)
- Goat 92% (Down 7% he is no longer essential for shack access)
- DIJITAL MONSTER 92% (No Change - a certain starter, only way he's not going is if he misses the bus)
- Jism 84% (Down 5% work commitments)
- Big Les 49% (Down 2% New Zealand..very disappointing!)
- Birdy 23% (Up 5% I'm not sure why)
- Sparrow 9% (Down 5% a very unlikely inclusion)
- Mr. X 14% and rising! (Up 14% at this rate will definately be standing in last week of November)

(these figures are purely subjective)

I think I'm going to draw a map or make a video or something

hump day.

If only! no its only wednesday. And I thought (what a day to write a blog on my favorite site). No not really, I have recently been tuning into this fat loss/wedge announcement blog that we call Hills/Hood. To my astonishment there seems to be some kind of hostility between two key members! now what on earth could prompt such a thing between a bunch of smart, fortunate young lads. While reading this blog, I immediately thought of private school girls, you know why? Because many of you actually sound like them. Now this is uncool. There is 3 months until the planned wedge trip, and I am mighty excited. So excited I would say that I have been beginning to think of things to take, what kind of beer to consume, what kind of time consuming shit I can do up there and so on... END BLOG READING NOW

Would you trust this man??

I was actually going to write a nice, long, light-hearted blog about how much fun Wedge is going to be. However, after reading Goat's previous blog, I have changed my mind and decided to take a different approach.

Recently, I have been browsing through some old documents and folders from my earlier days, some of the stuff I found is amazing! I found these 'Classic' Goat videos from my old phone and decided to post some of them to keep this blog interesting.

Wedge (July '06) - Goat's Awakening


Oh, Goat


I have more

Kalgoorlie Cup

Now we all know diji can be a odd kid at times, but lately hes turning into a bit of a brown bear. The latest incident revolves around the dij and the kal cup. Kal cup is one of Kalgoorlie's most prestigious events, with ppl form all corners of the region dressing up n getting maggot. well anyway Lodga has committed himself to a weekend of fun, although until the diji commits, he might find himself disappointed, with no kal cup, and no chance to experience the great city of Kalgoorlie. the question needs to be asked, is diji gonna be the next brown bear, or is he gonna actually do something exciting this weekend.

Some rumours going around say hes got a date with this Shenoah girl, and hence cannot make it, but if so the dij should be proud and admit such things.

Now with the kal cup being such a popular event, it is important that tickets get bought early, both for the train home and the actual cup, so diji stop saying maybe or not even answering and just say yes or no.

Wedge

The time has come to start the bombardment of wedge blogs, makes a welcome change from goats weightloss blogs. seriously that guy has anorexia. Anyway i think we should be getting brother birdy to come to wedge. Also biggles better come as he is quite a funny character. Im sure all the usual suspects will be there including rosco and haylz and tegan! hopefully the ban dogg doesnt tag along this time and spend his weekend trying to impress us with his stories of his wild youth. That guy talks more shit than lamo. Rumour has it goats girls will be there this time so hopefully he has another encounter with them. 3some maybe.

Anyway this blog sucks but its the start of bigger and better things

Fat Kent Update Number Uno

The first of my progress reports is going to a simple ones, as I am just about to run up the hill in aim to gain fitness. This will aslo help with my weight loss, which is good. Over the last week I have stayed on and around a weight of 80.5 for morning weigh ins, but have spent some time in the gym so this may be muscel gained and fat lost keeping the weight the same. Due to a bruised foot, i havent done much cardio work, so the potential to loose more weight each week is there.

In other issues, trav fluked a poker win with some shifty flush's and other crazy stuff. During the week not a great deal happened until wednesday when trav hit the piss for no apparent reason and went into crazy/ angry/ uncontrollable mode and decided that breaking peoples rooms was definately the thing to do insted of assignments.

On thursday night, trav stayed sober to enable him to do his assignment, while i went out for awhile. The night soon turned crazy, with a fat Indian and an asian getting maggot. The asian guy left his room unlocked, so i got some revenge for the table wrap prank by relocating his stuff, and putting been bag beans throughout his room. When he got back he did some crazy stuff then passed out on the floor. The fat Indian returned some time later, probably after having a sword fight, and requested to go to maccas where he proceeded to order a jew rat burger, and tune the macdonalds girl. after a short while he got out of the car and started dancing in the drive through. After the trip to maccas, he decided insted of sleeping in his room, hed sleep naked in our common room. WTF!

Anyway I had been locked out of my room and had nowhere to sleep so i decided to do my assignment in travs room while trav, who hadnt started, went to sleep.

In footy news, the league made it through to the next stage of finals with a 25 point win over wycombe, while embery broke a nail, and as a result colts lost. what weak dogs.

until next week, ciao

1CRX-632

Despite the contraversial title, this blog is quite simple, plain and boring. Today I have commited myself to a weekly internet blogging procedure, in an attempt to focus my weight loss cause. I have recently bought a set of scales( which weigh me in at almost 4kgs heavier than what my scales do at home), and I plan to blog my progress, while also adding stories of exciting events to keep the readers interested. I believe it will be a good thing for hillshood, with a high turn over of blogs meaning a higher rate of views and hence a greater cash inflow. Today I was only able to weigh myself at 12pm, but in the future I will weigh myself as soon as i wake up, and record my results so i can update the blog. I am led to believe that trav will also be partisipating in the weigh ins, although not quite as religously. He is lead to believe that eating maccas will cause him to lose weight faster than healthy food and hopes to prove that fact. Yesterday he was in fine form, having chicken treat once, and macdonalds twice. anyway I have an assignment to do (like i usually do when im writing a blog), and hence i shant waste anymore time procrastinating. Oh yeah trav and myself both weighed in at 81.3kg

KFC

The title of this blog relates to the one and only goatman. No it has nothing to do with the copious amount of fast food goat consumes. KFC stands for Kalgoorlie Fat Chicks. Goat had a very near erotic experience with a couple of these monsters on Saturday Night. There seems to be a trend developing with members of the hillshood and FC in general. Two recent blogs have been dedicated to these Fat Chick Encounters (FCE) .It's just not safe to leave home on the weekends anymore. I propose a 3 strike policy. 1 more FCE and we will have to form a vigilante group and tackle the problem head on!

Anyway back to the FCE involving Goat. Was a stock standard saturday night until a FC tried a rather extreme pick up move on G dogg. She threw a condom on the ground and said to goat in the sexiest voice she could " Ayyye Bro, you dropped ya franga! " Now poor goat was pretty frightened but brushed it off. Minutes later the FC's friend who was also a FC came over to goat and said " Ayyyye Bro, You got a franga in ya hood!, my mate wants you to use it on her." Goat then apparently replied " Fuck off ya FB" but I am unsure if this is the truth or not. The Worst was still to come. The FC pulled the old reach around on goat hahahahaha

Apparently i got hungry and decided to leave soon after purchasing a drink. On the way out i dropped my beer from about a foot onto an empty glass on a table. Glass went flying all over some old sheilas sitting at the table. Good times had by all except goat.

Cos If You Wanna Run Cool, You Gotta Run On Heavy, Heavy Fuel

Recently I have been asked to release more music, possibly for the Dij's upcoming documentary on how to become a millionaire in 6 months.

The documentary is rumoured to be a true story about a local hood boy who dreams of bigger and better things. His friends all laugh at him, saying you don't have a chance of making it big Russel, with some of this mates even betting 100 dollars on the fact. Poor Russel becomes as motivated as ever, scheming new ways to make money, how to rip people off and how to he is gonna stick it back in everyone's faces. After many days and nights spent in meditation at his natural temple, Hidden Creek, young Russel is ready to earn his millions. His plan is to start small, building a stable income base, where he can launch some of the riskiest and most dangerous economic moves possible in an ever cruel stock market. But for Russel this is just the start of things of things to come. Russel works around the clock, making stock trades during the day, and stacking shelves at night, he soon has raised his base income from a mere $4000 a year, what some of his mates were paying in tax at the time, to $50,000 a year. But for Russ this isn't enough, sure $50 grand a year is nice when you are 20, but Russ has different ideas. I wanna live while I'm young he says to himself, I want to have a million dollars in fluid assets by the time I'm 21. Now this didn't leave much time for regular methods of earning money, Russel had to think of ways he could turn his personal business into a global empire. Where else to turn to, but the Internet. The new television, the Internet represented a way Russ could reach the world without leaving his home. Like before, Russ started small, using the Internet giants like Google and rate-my-poo as inspiration, he soon made what some would say was impossible. His whole theory was built on economic potential, where there was money, money was to be made. But forcing your way into an already competitive system where the established big guns like eBay controled, was never going to work. Instead Russ decided to focus on the middle east, a places where money was aplenty, and much of society desired to advance in an ever growing world. To start off with Russ focused his attentions to the well off, but soon moved his attention to the his real focus, the Jews. In Russ's opinion, the Jews where the ideal target. To him they were like a clam with a pearl hidden inside. You could spend forever trying to open it, but in the end only the correct technique would work. After years of saving money, the Jews were just like clams, all you needed to do was to find a way to get them to spend their pearl. Only time would tell if Russ's plan would come to fruition, but time wasn't a thing Russ had lots of. Time was counting down to this 21st, and sure enough the Jews started to spend their life savings, and Russ was soon raking in the cash. At this stage Russ was well on his way to being a millionaire, but he feared it wouldn't be until after his 21st that he would hit the magical million. He needed to expand. With a growing reputation, and greater funds, it wasn't long before the world knew the name Russel Scoight. On his 21st Birthday, Russ finally became a millionaire, allowing him to celebrate like he never had before.

The documentary is also said to contain all the secrets into how to make a Jew give you money and how to make night fill pornos.

Anyway, the pending production and release of Diji's third major film should keep all checking back here for further updates. And as for the music side of things I think diji might need to find a new artist to produce the music for the film.

Now we are all back at uni I think i should do a brief wrap up of events of notice that occurred during the winter break.

1. Hood win back the Scott Dikjmans Cancer Trophy with a big win over an insipid Hills

2. Biggles ventured to the land of the long white cloud, and returned without getting engaged or nething crazy like that.

3. Birdman ventured to the land of Thai, and also returned without getting engaged, but did bring back some of the locals in the form of salmonella.

4. Scott did housework over playing Smashbros

5. Lodge slept and ate lots. Every time I spoke to him, he seemed to be eating, and when he stopped speaking to me, he seemed to be going to get some sleep.

6. Trav worked, got maggot, broke his phone, lost his keys, ripped his brand new clothes, yacked in his room, and drove from Kalgoorlie to Perth all within 24 hours.

7. Sparrow joined the blog.

8. Scott went to Melbourne and almost got raped by a fat bitch. Read blog entitled Melbourne for more information.

9. I planned to get fit and lose some weight, which was partially achieved. I lost 8kg and gained 3 complete levels in the beep test. The hard part will be continuing to get fit.

10. Jim got a new car.

I'm pretty sure they are the main points, and as I have run out of ideas, I think I might finish her off here.

Kalgoorlie Cup

The hills have triumphed in the inaugural Smash bros KALGOORLIE CUP . The goat was outclassed by the superior kalgoorlie cup competitor on the day. Hills trophy cabinet continues to fill up after the win in the kalgoorlie cup.

Melbourne

Time for another chapter. I'm still unsure whether or not to expand this site, which would subsequently increase traffic and revenue. The main reason for this is simply because I believe many readers will be offended ie. Asians and Fat bitches (keep reading). Hills Hood has never been afraid of a little controversy (See Corruption in the ranks), but before there was somewhat of a sense of anonymity throughout the site...times have changed. Recently, I found Hills Hood history on my parents laptop, after investigating further I noticed that there was search history for the name 'Dikjmans', which apparently linked HH with google. What was worse was when Old Man Dikjmans made a Hills Hood reference and called me a 'Hood' Boy.

So anyway, I was recently over in Melbourne/Canberra for uni...it was Good Fun! Melbourne was especially awesome, those people are seriously football-crazy! I have many stories, some good, some not so good. Drank more than I should of, watched endless hours of the security channel haha, was sexually harassed by a fat bitch (several times) and nearly got beaten up and arrested.

There was this girl who liked to stalk. I found this out first hand one fateful night. It all started out like any normal saturday night, drinking beer in front of one of my favourite shows 'Maury Povich'. Dom and I go down to shithouse retailer next door and stock up on some more $3 wine. Soon after we are joined by some other people in our apartment which included fat bitch and her token cousin. After much drinking we decide to leave and head off to some rediculously exclusive club, where the only way you can get in is if you suck the bouncers cock (seriously). We don't even bother trying our luck and head off to some bar in the heart of town. We were pretty pumped at this time as we realised we had lost fat bitch but our luck is soon to run out as we run into double whopper again (she must of smelt us out).

As the night unfolded I became more and more intoxicated and decided to trek it home after some disorderly behaviour. From what I remember (which is not a lot) I was walking home down one of the main streets in Melbourne when I somehow came across some guy's shirt. I must of taken it and continued to walk, later I was approached by 3 angry men who accused me of stealing and threatened to take me to the cops. We argued for awhile and I repeatedly denied stealing their shirt even though I clearly had. Eventually they got their shirt back and somehow also got my phone, they started walking off towards the cops with my phone, I followed behind and abused them. I offered the fag $20 but I didn't have any money so they kept walking. Then out of nowhere Whopper Junior came out and payed the tyrants. The bitch thought she was paying for me and tried to eat my arm, I told the fat slut to piss off but she stood firm. After several more attempts of trying to molest and eat me I managed to find my way back to the hotel. This glory was to be short-lived as I soon realised I had no keys!

I was forced to share the lift with this horny fat slut, she tried to talk me into going back up to her room but I refused. I quickly ran out of the elevator when I got to my floor. I sprinted through the front door of our apartment and locked it behind me, I felt a sense of relief come over me and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As I finished brushing my teeth I walked back to the main room to my bed (the couch), but to my horror The Fat Bitch from Hell was sitting on my bed staring right back at me! I double-backed and jumped through into one of the other bedrooms where I quickly jammed the door shut so the monster couldn't get in. All through the night I heard the door being beaten as she tried to break through, luckily though it never did and I got a good night's sleep.

In other news the Hood won back the Scott Dikjmans Cancer Trophy with a comfortable 16 run win in tennis court cricket.

Local Legend Signs Up

An orginal member of HH has today signed a 3 year deal with Hill Hood in an attempt to raise popularity within the local community. This flashy character known as JC to many brings a much needed shot of life to the site.

In further news JC has been cleared by PFC physios and an almost a gauranteed win for Cougars is sealed this weekend.

Covering last saturday at freo metros, many lesmurdians attended but none provided any real action, the lure was in full swing and was a dancing machine; the Diji used his hawk eye ability to spot trouble for the floor crew which consisted of JC, Mac Daddy, JP, the Kiev, Milan, Mac Daddy's balloon which was busted some how and other lesmurdians.

Usual conflict occured with some gentle pushes with the elbow but all in all a solid performance. A certain hood member made his intentions clear not to attend the evening bash with A.E.W.D. which is a concerning trend. A final note the Diji was assaulted and chain lost, however it was recovered, police are looking into the incident.

SPARROW OUT.

2008 (The year so far)

For those of you who are wondering why I wasn't in attendance at last week's Hills Hood challenge, it was quite simply because I received physical threats to myself and those who I care about from members of the Hills community before the match. From what I have been told, the subsequent victory by the Hills was tainted by accusations of unfair gameplay and cheating. This kind of behaviour would never happen or be tolerated by those who reside in the Hood.

In other news, Hills Hood has recently been approached by internet giants 'Google' and 'YouTube' in the hope of securing a Partnership with the number one blogger going around. I am still unsure whether or not to accept these dubious offers as I am quite certain their primary interests are only to gain cheap advertising and to release Hills Hood's strangle-hold on the online consumer market.

So anyway 2008 is nearly half way through, the winter solstice is only a few days away, everything is downhill after that. There is still a lot of fun left to be had during the remaining six months of the highly anticipated 2008. These events include:
- Kalgoorlie Roadtrip
- Possible Wedge trip after uni is finished
- Goat releasing his new hip-hop album (I can't wait)
- Playing in footy premiership (highly unlikely)
- Jason finally signing up to Hills Hood
- Receiving many checks from Google
- Summer (Fuck Yeah)
- Biggles and Jane getting married (Yet to be confirmed)
- Lodge reaching triple figures for no. of jobs
To round off this post, I will leave you with some memorable moments of the first half of 2008.

Dij and Biggles' Wild Summer Ride


Easter Wedge trip (Finally proof that people other than us actually go there!)













The discovery of a new Wedge shortcut (Takes about five hours longer)


Where the Legend began! (Curtin Beach Party)


And much more to come.
2008 (The year so far)

News Report

Today i have recently heard that Scott MC diji has found a love interest. the rumour circulating is that c.amplett, no wait that's way to obvious, Casey a. is the lady of interest, with i quote, " look at this lovely lady" being said by the dij, to a well respected hills hood member, about a photo he keeps of her.

In other news, Kalamunda umpiring legend, Jimbo weasel, has been noted by the opposition for being a fat kent. rumour also has it that he has idolised local draft prospect diji ackermanus, and is now favoring the home side quite dramatically. if this rumour is true, Casey might have to battle over the highly sort after hood member.

Kalgoorlie's student safe haven, Agricola college, became a drunken's playground over the weekend, with one of the locals locking themselves out of their rooms, and going on a eating frenzy. items to be eaten were of high value, with a pie and a tub of yogurt, being the first to disappear from the fridge. reports are the offender was then caught by the owner of the food, who was leaving for work. with beer in hand, the offender claimed that he had just got home, when all reports are that he arrived 3 hours earlier and woke up the civilized residents.

Lesmurdie pizza chef, and 3 point specialist, Brenton b, is to leave to country on Saturday, in search of a replacement for long time girlfriend, Liz. it is rumoured that the pair have been arguing of late, with Brenton not liking her attitude to housework. it is a stressful time in their relationship, with Brenton looking for work so he can support a soon to be released baby and fund a near certain marriage.

the anticipation for the up coming exercise period is increasing, with suggestions hill sprinting will now be added to the participants workload.

young Biggles is heading back to the land of the long white clouds, n other crazy stuff, to have much sexy time, not sure if its the sheep or Jane who will receive the attention. the trip allows Scott to get a handy head start on Biggles for smash bros dominance, and it is expected that Scott is to be mysteriously struck ill come June 26.

astrology:

Aquarius - good chance that there will be lots of water this month, so you will be at home most of the time.

Aries - being the year of the tortoise, the chances of succeeding are slim, with a high work rate being required to succeed.

Libra - is a type of tampon

Gemini - it is your month of birth, but due to inflation you wont get many presents

Scorpio - who knows

in sports news, the return of bulldog utility, is set to occur in the near future and may result in a turn of fortune for the reserves, after a loss at the hands of the white indigenous team, wanbro.

I'm running out of things to write, and this blog has probably already gotten boring. but i forgot to include jism is loving the attention shown to him by miss uwa.

Challenge trophy heads to hills again

A glorious victory was seen this morning in the latest hills hood cricket challenge all in suspicous circumstances. It all starts at 10am where all players must be present for the player registration, raising of the flag and the national anthems of the two areas. Strangely though, the hood was missing a certain player. We'll call him Scott D. Actually maybe a bit to obvious. S. Dikjmans. So we waited for many an hour for him to show before eventually news came through that the player in question had been struck down by cancer. It all seemed kind of sudden seeing as he was fine the night before. But thats cancer. It sneaks up on you and BANG right in the kisser.

We continued on with a individual match and averages of hills scores and against the single hood score which ended up with the victory being sealed 32-22. This then resulted in a new perpetual trophy being awarded at all hills hood challenges. The Scott Dikjmans Cancer trophy. The most important trophy in the world and sure to stay in hills hands for numerous more years. Shame goatman couldn't bring it home. Would have been an emotional, hairy acceptance speech but it was never meant for a hood member to win a challenge.

Let us all think of Scott in this tough time

I'll take one alright, take one right in the team.

I feel like I've not been giving what could be called my "all". This may be the case, when referencing my post writing contributions to a blog named "Hills hood", it's true, but in other ways, it's certainly false.

I've got a few things to say about things these days, specifically important things. These are things that mean a lot to a lot of people. I noticed ads up on the HillsHood blog lately, accompanied by a large amount of new blogs, that I'd never seen before! Trust me when I say that I keep HillsHood under a very tight rein, so you can understand when I saw this young fledgling blog popping up, and nurtured it through its adolescence, how I would feel to see it take flight without my helping hand there to guide it.

It was the proudest moment of my life.

Do you know what else was the proudest moment of my life? The holocaust.

Not really, I wasn't even alive, OBVIOUSLY. I wouldn't be proud of it anyway, it was poorly rehearsed and didn't gain Hitler any allies, not to mention he lost in the end. Can't have been very good, ey?

I totally got distracted just then watching Carl Barron, also talking to Jane on webcam. Did you know I'm going over there soon? To NZ, that is, which is also to Jane. It's going to be awesome. Fuck damn I'm really tired hey. What is it with fatigue and its ability to sneak up on you like that. It's a bitch, that's what it is. I suppose it's what happens when you do fatiguing exercises, like badminton. Which I did, and was awesome.

Badminton is an awesome sport. I'm going to bed. Goodnight you.

Sampi....

Uni really does suck alot of penis. The hatred of uni seems to be a common feeling between members of both the hills and the hood. Perhaps it is what is keeping this great gang alive. An adhesive or a special bond. Whether it's lodga slogging it out over planning an outback coon community centre, biggles busting out a 30 page report on butterflies, diji forging surveys or the kalgoorlie rats doin fuckall then going a week withoud sleep to get 5 assignments in on time I am sure that nobody is really enjoying it. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will be worth it in the end. We will look back at our time at uni and say " gee that was the life" or possible something like " fuckin asian rats" but we will realize we had it pretty sweet.

In other news i was shocked upon entering goats room and seeing a giant ball of pubes sitting proudly on top of the rubbish in his make shift bin made from an empty beer carton ( First carton purchased since arriving in Kal, possibly first carton ever.) Anyway i am scarred from this monster of pubes that is making me too scared to go to sleep. Everytime I shut my eyes it is just sitting there looking at me. It's one of those situations where you wish you were so maggot that all would be forgotten in the morning but I'm afraid the vision will be with me for life. He may have photos for others that would like to see.

Apparently Scott is working with alot of single mothers. I suggest he films a porno at work. There is potential for some big dollars cahhhhhh chink! Could possibly win the bet with goat. Porn is the only realistic way that he could make 1 million dollars in less than a year. It would also complete his other unacomplished goal in life of creating an internet hit. He could called it "Kala Milfs Gone Wild". Some of the dij's goals that he has already achieved include:

1. Appearing on Aus Funniest Home Video Show
2. Youtube Hit Video
3 Making money from the Internet
4 Farting in a public place(accidental)
5 Surviving pimarily off raw oats and pasta.
6 Winning a hills hood challenge
7 Falling asleep in a night club
8 Being a rat
9. Studying Goat
10. Appearing in a documentary in year 12 in Calc.

There is much drinking to be done this coming semester break. Goat now drinks beer since the price increase in alcopops so it could be his entry to manhood.

Hillshood just isn't the same with advertisements for everything from cars to holidays to adding inches to the little pecker. What was once a community blog has been commercialized just like everything else demetriou the cunt touches. The fat greasy wog has probably never played footy. Reminds me of eddie Maguire and Caroline Wilson. What the fuck! Anyway it appears scott is making some big dollars out of this so he better shout us all beeros.

while on the topic of footy i would like to point out that it is a great game. I would like to be playing right now but cannot at the moment resulting in goat and me becoming fat cunts. Goat is rumoured to have hit the 100 kg mark. Hes bordering on scott cummings, billy brownless, matt witham territory.

In other news Jism has been basking in the glory of being a hillshood cricket champion. As a captain of a side that has won all but 1 challenge he is surely to be inducted into the hall of fame and elevated to legend status a couple of minutes later.

Goats got a few love interests in his life atm. 1 lives next door to him, 1 lives next door to lodge and the other keeps messaging him and ringing him. You'll have to ask him 4 details.....

Jas is up to his usual antics. ?Invited me to the casino. Wouldnt be the same without the saturday night message from none other than JC.

I'm tired and my paragraphs are starting to consist of 1 sentance so ill leave it there.
Some thing to ponder, to wonder and to appreciate.

Deja Vu

I am not a bigot nor am I a racist, but I feel there comes a point where racist comments are warranted...It is called 'Rational Racism!' I'm sure those of you who have been with Hills Hood since the start have probably heard me bitching about asians before Click here.

Again I have been put in a group with an asian girl which I don't have a problem with, BUT, again she has taken over and is insistent on doing things her way. The stupid turkey doesn't even trust me to do my part of our presentation, she has sent me countless msgs asking me 2 send her my slides so she can change them and rewrite them in mandarin or something gay and pointless like that. She is one of those useless sluts that you wouldn't mind if she was hit by a car or struck by lightning (I am getting frustrated just by talking about her!).

This all refers back to my original point about rational racism. I have constantly had trouble with international students at uni. I have found them to be very selfish and uncompassionate and they are constantly eating rice. The other day I was in a lecture when the guy in front of me (he was asian) pulled a packet of rice out of his bag and mixed it with some hot water, he had gone to far! I have seen some pretty bad things in my short life but that was without doubt the worst I've ever experienced.

For those of you who have already noticed, I have signed Hills Hood up to Google adsense. I mainly did this because I was bored and also as a basic experiment. I really don't think HH can generate any substantial revenue unless we relate all our posts back to a central theme which will increase Hills Hood's keyword relevance, page rankings etc. even then I think it is still unlikely that this site will make us all rich.

It is now 11.53pm, I have a presentation at 9am tomorrow morning and that STUPID CRAZY SHEILA hasn't even sent me the Fucking powerpoint yet! The nugget even called me up today asking for my slides so she could email everyone the finished thing, so I sent that rice-bitch my slides and now she won't send me the rest, meaning I won't be able to see if my slides have been changed until tomorrow during our presentation. Deja vu?

How much do you love assignments?

A lot? good, because now I can abuse you, and one thing that I believe tops assignments on the scale of things which apply unreasonable stress and pressure is group work. Now I know everyone just loves group work, I mean you can really get heaps done on time in a really efficient manner in groups, right? Sometimes sure, but in the highly likely case that you might be grouped up with a homosexual emo', I think you would answer differently. Don't get me wrong, I love homosexual emos, they make me laugh, alot. Theres something about the whingey whiney voice that really gives me the impression that they dont want to be alive. Which is true right? why else would they have cut scars running across their arm in a pathetic attempt to commit suicide with the ulterior motive to attract attention to themselves?. Who knows you say, i agree, who knows indeed, probably a behavioral psycologist.

To be fair I must contradict my earlier statement, he isn't exactly a homosexual but he sure looks and acts like one. Nor is he classified as 'emo' but hell, whats the difference between those emos and the other "different" ones these days? They are all trying to be minority right? While achieving quite the opposite. So I was close enough!

Before I stray too far off the topic (too late) I have to say I have been dealt a bad dose of group members. The above image depicts a weeks on and off work, sure it doesnt look like much, but fuck, you should have seen the method of construction. Theres this bitch who does work without consulting others, some Portugese son of a bitch who does night shift security and therefore ALWAYS runs late to morning meetings, the previously mentioned gay emo or near enough, and lastly a legend of a bloke who is too nice to be assertive. In a pickle? yes I am actually.

Now steering in a different direction completely, we have been commercialized! Some may not know this, but the beloved Hills Hood has been swamped in advertisements. Who is responsible? I think there is only one person capable, Scotto has been sitting on the conception of making money through the internet for a long time. And now It's actually happening! Infact he informed me that he made $2 from HillsHood alone already. This may not sound like a lot, but if you were to make 100 more Hillshoods, that would equate to $200. Not quite the goal of $1million by the time he's 21, thats for sure. So anyway the point I am trying to make is this, deception! Did we hold a committee meeting to pass this advertising on the blog? I don't recall, probably, but I wasn't invited.

Now we have established this ultimate betrayal, we can design an awards program for all contributers to this blog. One night on the piss per $100 cheque sounds fair to me, although it will not go far. Perhaps half a night on the piss. On the off season that is! Recently a random passing Goat and I discussed a fitness program that is potentially beneficial to all who participate. The goal is much like that of boot camp concept, as they call it in USA. Except I am tending to opt for the other proposal for "Fat Camp" Some of us are carrying more than the great game forgives. The great game I am referring to being Football, none of this tip-toe , pussy footed pansy shit they call soccer, I mean the real mans game, where a hand on the back is now inevitably a free kick. How tough is that! fuck all this shirtfronting shit, a real game has real rules, and this one takes the cake. Before I storm onto how football is increasingly becoming a game for the poo pushers, let me elaborate on our fitness concept that we have planned for the study break in coming weeks.

Week 1 - general fitness; jogging, kicking, endurance.
week 2 -Step it up into 2nd gear; pace running, skipping, bike riding and swimming.
week 3- Now we are burning; Sprints, weights, extreme Morman dancing.
week 4 -nothing stopping us; More sprints, weights and fuckloads healthy food
week 5- Drink some booze, been working too hard and have got an injury; Couple of cratons should do it
week 6- reflect on past weeks; Wonder what went wrong and return to original form...

Sad, but no doubt a very likely result of the plan. Well, speaking on past experiences, it is definitely what is going to happen.

So back to the great game, WTF. Dont go saying the game SHould be unpredictable and have varying umpiring standards, but no, I believe we should modernize the game with respect to umpires and tribunal. I am no the first to discuss this topic on a negative level, I am infact one of many, one of millions perhaps. We all want our point of view heard, and this is mine.
A serious review of the game is on the table, thats for sure.
I dont even know why im talking about afl umpiring, i actually liked it until 10 minutes ago, but for some reason i followed the ideas that footy is on a downward sprial. Of course i dont believe this, footy is healthy as ever, but hey, what would we all talk about in social situations if we didnt have footy antics. After all many of us revolve our lives around the great game, some of us believe football is what made us who we are today, this is true for myself especially. In beginning university this year, I'm sure I would not be passing if it werent for the tuesday and thursday training sessions. That shit keeps me going, Keeps me motivated. I think Im speaking for everyone in saying the weekend game is also a central focal point of our lives.

Recently I returned to the great occupation of 'night filler'. How great is that ay. Some of the shit we get up to on night fill, hoohoo i tell you what, we are a bunch of crazy critters. For example, monday night was my first shift, and I tell you no lies, we were allowed to stack shelves. If thats not extreme enough for you, we also crushed boxes. Now im not sure if many of my readers are familiar with the job of night filler, but its a long and disturbing process. I was very disturbed when I came across a broken can of cat food, that was rotting away with maggots and shit like that. Fuck yeh, imagine diggin ya teeth into that, yummy. Well the pays good and the conditions are pretty good too, so i dont see why i would want to leave, especially considering the convenience of uni/work ratio and times. Only downfall is I seem to be working with a whole lot of single mothers and strangely enough, single stay at home dads too. Haha those blokes are radical, sitting on their fat asses all day then coming into woolies to do a hard nights fill for a honest dollar.

Tell you what ive had just about enough to day for one night, its late and i need to submit this retarded model of a completely impractical and rediculous city concept.

Lodge

Kalgoorlie Pub Crawl (poor blog)

So you like rice?? Speaking of rice, or more specifically Kalgoorlie, I think it would be an excellent idea to venture there in the near future for a weekend of good old fashioned drinking. I have heard there are many pubs in Kalgoorlie and also many seedy places, which will make for good fun. Goat has kindly volunteered his room for our stay, what a nice lad. To complement Goat's generosity, Trav has began production on another batch of his quality home-brew. This will hopefully be finished by the time we arrive (hopefully sometime in September).

So far it looks to be me, Lodge, Jism and most likely Biggles for the trip east. Goat is also eager to introduce us all to his exhange-student girlfriend who is yet approve of this meeting (she doesn't speak any english!). Their relationship seems to be going steady after a bumpy couple of months, maybe now Goat will actually tell us her name! Tatiaana??

Back to how things should be

hills on the winning list of an absense of 1 round. The hoods list is looking thin. Appears to be a coup to get rid of captain paul after this years interzone draft.

3 rats, a goat and a brown bear

We went to Wedge, it was good. Did shit which was good, some guy got angry..not sure why? Old boy Banyard was there, wtf aye?? He talked so much shit and he is a shifty dog as well. He got out of bed and went upstairs and slept on my bed and all of my clothes n shit. If your name is Banyard and you are reading this blog, "YOU'RE A RAT!"
I liked wedge and i am confident that 75% of those who went also enjoyed it..not sure about the other 25%. I have heard rumours that some individuals want to go up there by themselves for a week when the town is deserted, that seems a bit strange if you ask me.

Perhaps the most significant event from wedge was the ambiguous statement made by a prominent Hills member, which suggested a possible resignation from the HillsHood organisation. No one is sure what was meant by this sudden outburst, the only person who does has been hiding ever since. We saw a couple of dingoes up there which was a bit unusual and also many other crazy people. We also pretty much treked the whole way up there through unexplored sand dunes, that was pretty awesome!

HillsHood definately does not promote the use of propaganda on this site and in no way is anything in this blog of such nature. Apparently goat has a new interest in his love life. She is a nice German girl whose name I do not know..Goat won't disclose these details! Inside sources from the town of Kalgoorlie inform me that this secretive relationship has been going on for several months now, no longer will it be a secret lol.


(This photo was seized from goat's hard drive)

Redemption: Wedge Style

I am bored so I decided to write this blog, which will be approximately the 182nd blog related to wedge. I am still feeling the effects of another night of heavy drinking which leads me to my second point; will I ever give up drinking??...Just kidding, I'm not really that bad! I think I may just bring goon and some red cordial to wedge instead of the standard carton. This may sound a bit controversial to some but I think this may be the way to go. I have been receiving many late phone calls and msgs from a bored and quite possibly drunk paul barnes, which leads me to believe that the G-man is setting himself up for some hardcore drinking this upcoming weekend. A side few have witnessed in their lifetime, but those who have definately were not disappointed!

Anyway, back to wedge. Unlike previous visits nothing has been confirmed yet. This is mainly why I am writing this blog, as a medium for communication. A certain person is becoming increasingly difficult to get a hold of seeing as he/she has deleted msn and seldom answers their phone (just kidding man). Also wedge is quite likely only a couple of days away and we are still not sure if we are actually going. I don't think transport will be a major issue nor is the issue of who is actually going. The only real major concern is for how long we are going for?

From previous experience we know that it will be as packed as fuck up there, clearly a positive for goat considering last November's antics where he made a horrible mistake in not accepting an invitation back to the shack from 2 promiscuous girls. He later learned never to interfere with the forces of karma again as he found a large snake in his car! This leads me to another probability many of us have been pondering..will Lodge go back for more! We were all quite shocked when we returned to the shack after a late night stroll, finding Lodge in a state of phychosis with a large hunting knife, well goat did.

In conclusion, I would just hope that this blog is viewed before it is too late so we can organise what we need to organise in time for Easter.

DIJ

JESUS GET THAT SHIT OFF MY SCREEN.

I was obliged to post these rather humerus photos (that are definitely official and not photoshopped) in an attempt to take the massive photograph of Scott's greasy turd off my screen every time I view this site.

The debut.


Making the real slim shady look like a novice.


Proportionally incorrect.


Lodge out. AKA photoshop professional.

Overdue

Last Wedge trip was pretty gnarly. Many laughs had, many drinks drunk and many shits shat. Jane survived her maiden trip to our surprise. kudos to her.

Back to the beginning. Goat had spent months talking about how his car would chop a landcruiser. These pictures tell a very different story.

So we finally make it to wedge after getting lost, getting bogged and then taking the long way via the tracks. Scott, making an early statement, drinks about 10 drinks in an hour. He then goes off riding on lodges piece of engineering marvel and stacks it many a time, returning to the shack laughing with cuts and sand all over his face and body. Apparently the crazy dutch bastard stacked it in front of some random folk and when they came to see if he was alright he got up rode off and stacked it again. 4 fists for that effort.

Another interesting event that night was the sand dunes. Scott was intent on starting some biffo but the only ppl around were 17 yr old "black sluts". The pussies didn't wanna fight so they caned off in daddys car.

Can't remember the order off things too much, probably coz i was drunk a fair bit of the time but we made a decent firework too, have to have some more pyrotechnics displays next trip.

I also decided it would be a good idea to pick up a snake that we came accross on the tracks. I am not sure why I did it or why i put it in goats car or even why goat filmed me putting it in goats car, but it occurred and made for a pretty funny story. Goat was paranoid for weeks, maybe he still is now, he even let me drive his car while i was off my nut to avoid the snake which had slithered up under his dashboard. Crazy shit i tell you.

Tried a bit of fishing but the conditions were shit and fishing drunk isnt all its cut out to be.

This is a pic of scott spooning biggles.

One night lodga smashed back a fair amount of booze and went off in search off bigger and better things. Goat got a feeling, sounds a bit suss but he could be some kind of psychic mastermind and went to search for Lodga who was convinced that he was being chased by mormons. Goat calmed him down with his trusty supply of rohypnol he keeps in his wallet, kidding man relax. Lodge lived to tell the tale and thats what Wedge is all about.

This guy returned to the scene of the crime....

Biggles was even smashing down beers. What an aussie he is.

Jizzbag smashed back a fair amount of booze. such a happy drunk. Look at that grin!

Goatmans car handled the tracks better than the hardcore 4wds but his claimed 32 mins from wedge to lancelin is a lie.

All in all was a good trip but the next trip will be far superior. Will we see any new faces? Any departures? who knows.. Only time and maybe Allah. Hes a shifty bloke.

Happy Camper

Nice hat

Tired

Mature Pallet

Dreaming of you

Pisstank

Old school

Sick DOGGS

crazy shit

Pretty bored ATM. Even considered taking a helicopter ride, but then realized it only lasts 7 minutes and my boredom would soon return. Sure would have sucked coming out this way when there was no internet, foxtel or aircon. Which brings me to my next point. Saw an abo passed out on the footpath in the centre of down at 1.30 in the arvo. wonder what they did with their spare time before the introduction of alcohol. I suggest they may have spent a fair chunk of their lives doing poetry and algebra and shit. Crazy what booze can do to society. Apparently the irish were space aged when they invented whiskey, then became wife beaters... good on em.

Apparently goatman has abandoned alcohol, not very irish if you ask me, forcing scott to pick up the slack for the hood. Selfish Gman, how will u feel when scott dies of liver failure! also the 1 yr - half carton story is a pearler, you already have a reputation out this way hahahaha. Nah just kidding man. relax. Seems goatman had a brush with death. Makes you wonder what if? Like the time goat almost rolled the car at wedge and almost had a head on with a truck at leavers. Oh well a good story to tell the kids.

You negros better go to the pub next thurs night! ill be there at 11.30. give u lifts if u coons wanna get maggot.

I'll write a wedge blog when i get back with pics. I really need to get them off my camera b4 some1 sees them hahahaha.

Wedge at Easter. Good idea or what? not that far away really. 23rd of march i think is easter sunday.

Good Fun

Hey There! It has been awhile since my last post so I thought it might be a good time to start a new one. Unlike most of my other posts, this one will not feature anything about Wedge or previous Wedge trips. I have only been back from Europe for about 5 days and I am already experiencing withdrawal symptoms...I also have the flu. Anyway Europe was awesome. As you can see the quality of my blogs on this site has gone downhill, half of this one isn't even in english haha. I don't really care as long as this site continues into the future...I haven't even bothered to re-read this post or edit it.

I get lost in Europe a lot yah. I go walking at night after many drink. I drink many beer, many wine drink and I go wild in club, I try to find way home and I go 'I no need taaaxi, I run home fast!' I run home in Pari after much free wine and many a cocktail. I keep a running but I not know where I go, I see black man so I keep run. I drink 9 beer on one hour Canal Cruise, I spend most time chat 2 barmaid and pretty blonde haired girls. We go walk in Red-Light District, many hot girls, I get lost again, I try to take picture of pretty, naked girls in window, like Johnnie I keep walking 2 try find others. I have a no phone, I forget to call up company b4 I go, so I not have reception, I try payphone but I not know number lolol. I slightly drunk walk round Amsterdam for many hour looking for 'Otel, I not find. Blackman in nice car pullover and give me lift yah. I go 'ok, I go to 'Otel' I say to taxidriver 'You take me to 'Otel!' he says 'I not know where hotel is'. He drive me round, he turn left, left, left, left again, Blackman know he get money from drunken fool. He drop me off, I sure I was not far from dropoff when I get in taxi, but I tip blackman like I tip pretty beer girl.

Many pretty girl in Europe, no rice girl, I see rice girl I say 'you not Europe...you go home!' I sleep on bus, I no listen to Joey when he say what to do. We stop at 'Otel in Munchen, I watcha TV yah, very funny haha. Brother in Shower so I not talk, we walk out of 'Otel he say 'You not dressed very well, we go out after', I say 'no we not go out after, we come back then we go out'. I walk on bus, I look different 2 people, I turn around and walk out. I talk to Joey he say 'We go out after' I say 'Oh no...I must change! I meet up later. I go back in 'Otel, I skip yah, I watcha funny TV again, I look outside it dark. I say 'Shit! I better go to station and catch train.' I walk outside I look for train I not find, I walk around I stalked by 2 Nazis, I feel scared. I keep walking from Nazis they keep follow.

I find train station after much time, Nazis leave. It is 6 o clock and I do not understand any Deutsche, I forget where I go, I not know how to get ticket. I spend much time try ticket after 30 min I get ticket and catch train. I get off train I walk outside but I go wrong way, I look at map and jump on train again. I get off train I not know where, I walk around, many people, I remember and I call Marky. He say 'I not know where you are, you not where you should be' I walk around and I jump on train. I jump off train and get on other train. I get off at Marienplaatz station, I walk through Munchen, I walk for while and I see big blue building, I walk in and I see Asian boy. He say 'HULLO I CHINAAAAA, I DRINK BEER, YOU GET BEER SCOTT!' I say 'Yah I make it HHHOOORRRAAAYYYY'. I get half a pig and many Litre of beer, I drink beeer very fast. I see Marky #1 and Marky #2, Marky #2 buy voetbal, he throw voetbal to me I catch, I like voetbal...very happy. I get surrounded by 2 fat girl. One fat girl take voetbal and put put voetbal down top, I say 'No No, you not put voetbal down ur top fat girl!', fat girl starts talking dirty 2 me and use many suggestive terms. I say 'I not want to have sex with you fat girl'. I convince fat girl to give me AN-NEE, I go walk with annee and I look for place to slash. I not find nowhere so I go in middle of courtyard, I walk back with annee.

I go inside and I see brother he say he not go out he go back to 'Otel, I tell him I go club yah. Asian boy drink too much and let me down again lolol, people leave and thankgod so do 2 fatgirl. Then 2 hot girl come sit next to me, I tell them we go out, they say 'Ok, we go out'. We all sit 'round table, I get free beer from Hungarian man, he very drunk. Anyway time passes and Joey (Marky #1) come back, he say we go. We walk too train station, I already been lolol. I no buy ticket but he say too buy ticket, I turn around to buy ticket, when i turn back everyone gone. I run to every platform I am told that I have missed them. I feel very bad I am lost and by myself again, I not know what to do but I keep going. I go up 2 ZGerman lady and talk English, she no understand. I start to dance she laugh and draw me map.

I get on train again to OstenHorff i think, I get off and not know where to go, I call up Joey again, he say 'You come to Q-bar' I walk 'round looking for Q-Bar...I not find. I get offered many drug but I do not take, after much wandering I talk to German and I find Q-bar. Again I find others I very happy, they not believe I make it by ownself again ha ha. Not many contiki left but one very hot girl, she very hot! I drink LIIT haha I drink many, I very drunk but Joe buy me more LIIT, he tell me to walk up behind DJ's and start dancing...I not hear very well. I walk up behind DJ, I do little dance, but I climb up on DJ table and start to dance L O L O L. I dance and dance but I get dragged off by 2 big German bouncers, they drag me away but I walk off. I see Joey and pretty girls they all very funny, they show me picture, I laugh 2. I get a bit wild that night, I see many crazy things but I have much fun, I also get to dance with pretty girl, she very nice.

Working on the holy day

Working on Sunday really does suck dick, or spotted dick as lodga might say. You may point out that I have worked at the pizza shop on sunday for the last year or so but that is a different story altogether. That was sunday evening and mainly involved fucking around with goat n bird and eating pizza to recover from hangover. Waking up at 5.20 sunday morning is against gods will, even ask simmo. These crazy 7 day rosters fuck you over. You don't even know what day it is. The day of the week is replaced by day 1,2,3...etc depending on what day through ur roster you are. I just knocked off day 3. thursday is day 7 which means end of work which is good.

This blog is pretty shit. When i get back to Perth after day 7 i will write a good 1 involving wedge with photos, goatmans mystery story and a couple of pearlers that i will think up over the coming days.