Phuket - The first night

October 23rd 2010
5:30PM
We're landing in 40 minutes, we all start to wake up. Our first trip together outside of Australia without any parents, just the boys. We all start getting excited, Sully starts f*cking around with everyone's tv screens on the back of the seats, we're all so buzzed. We look out the windows and see islands covered with lush vegetation, lovely turquoise water. Holy shit we're nearly in Thailand! Haha. We touchdown just after 6PM, it is overcast, warm and humid. We can't wait to get to the hotel.

It takes a little while to find pens to fill in our arrival cards, get through customs fine without any jittery moments like I experienced in Perth (just the usual dropping all my shit everywhere, hitting my knee on the conveyor belt, trying to take my belt off without my shorts falling down). We're through customs and officially in Phuket, we're so fucking ecstatic! Okay, this is where Mr Organised (Ant), starts to kick arse and show us how valuable an asset he is at getting shit sorted (unlike someone like myself who leaves everything to the last minute).

At the front of the airport it is chaotic, however, Ant finds the taxi driver easily, we chuck our shit in the back and jump in the van. Fuck Yeah! At this time the sun has just set and we only have about 10 minutes before it gets dark. If you have been anywhere in south-east Asia who are obviously familiar with their crazy, erratic driving and their lack of respect for road rules, like I care if he drives on the wrong side of the highway. We all start talking about what the hell is going to happen tonight...will we encounter any women?...if so how many?...do they sell Long Island Iced Teas?...and am I going to do something stupid and end up in Jail? Bird gives us some tips as he had already been to Patong before a couple of years prior, with a former romance.

I am very carsick like always and I am starting to get a little apprehensive. My mum, dad, brother and practically everyone else I know told me before I came "Scott, just don't go wondering off by yourself like you always do and like you did in Europe, just stay with your friends and you'll be fine." We finally get into Patong Beach, HOLY FUCK! The beach is gorgeous, there are lights, noise and people everwhere and fireworks are going off every 5 seconds.This is going to be a really lively night!

Vodka Bar out the front of Ban Thai

7:30PM
BanThai mother fucker! We're there, right on the beach, in our hotel, the atmosphere is so electric. Ant sorts everything out at the reception and somehow Bird, Sully and my room has been upgraded to a deluxe suite for the night! Team meeting - Ant and Jnr go to your room, get ready then come to ours and we'll head out, okay locked in. So we walk to our room across this pool and as we do we pass a few nice sheilas....predator mode has started. We get to our pimped room and start going nuts: strip down and put on robes, jump on beds, throwing shit and general shouting.

8PM
Ant & Jnr rock up to our room "What the fuck???? How much have you guys had!" We were so buzzed we hadn't even drank anything just started going crazy and throwing all the beds everywhere. We start smashing down Ant's duty-free black-label Johnnie Walker, we drink a fair bit then head out. Grab pizza at pizza shop next to maccas, then go to vodka bar out the front of Bat Thai and start drinking the one and only Long Island Iced Teas.

Cobblas

9PM
Fireworks are going off everywhere, locals trying to sell us everything from chicken porn to cocaine and there seems to be some attractive women around. We go walking for a bit checking out the scenery, eventually we find the coolest road ever, Bangla Rd.

Busy on Bangla!

Bangla Road is basically the main road in Patong where everything happens. There are locals everywhere trying to sell you everything and anything, endless amounts of nightclubs and bars, and tourists like us everywhere. We walk up and down checking it out and eventually decide to get a drink at the Aussie Bar. More LIITs but eventually we start to get pissed off at each other because we still haven't found a nightclub. We leave and decide to go looking for nightclubs again.

We walk to the end of Bangla Road with no obvious ideas of where we are going to go. At the very end of Bangla Road is a pub called "Rock City" (basically like the Newport in Freo). We go in there, realise that it is in fact not a nightclub but start to drink a bit more and get a bit looser. Eventually we leave, a little disappointed and walk back down Bangla Road, left onto Phuket Beach Road passed our hotel and then turn around and back the way we came.

Where the hell are we going guys??

Everyone starts arguing with each other and clearly getting pissed off because we haven't found a nightclub yet. Ant suggests a nightclub from a flyer/ticket that he was given by a club promoter on Bangla Rd earlier on. I'm not sure if the others actually agreed with him, I don't remember what was said otherwise my night might have been a lot easier.

We start walking up, pushing threw crowds of people on Bangla Rd again when I decide to shake things up a bit. It went something like this.
"I'm going back to the hotel to freshen up. I'll meet up with you guys later."
"But you won't be able to find us??" (very good point)
And then I left...

I briskly walked back to the hotel, got back to the room to freshen up and then thought to myself. "What do I do now?!?"
In these situations (which occur quite regularly), I always start by consuming some alcohol or energy drinks to clear my mind. There was still a bit of Black label left on the side table so I had a swig. The alcohol helped to clear my mind (or at least increase my confidence). My power began to surge, my veins flowed with pure energy, I started to power up and the windows started to shake! I used this power to teleport back out the front of the hotel and my hunt began.

Close to 11PM
I hustled back up Phuket Beach Road with my newly found energy (intoxicated) and quickly found a nightclub. Banana Bar Discoteque - I eagerly made my way in and looked for any signs of the boys, no luck, so I downed another smokey or two. I rounded the corner to Bangla Road and quickly located another nightclub. White Party! What a club. About the size of my bedroom and the drinks there are very suspect. Still no sign. Down the next side arcades I fought through the ladyboys and found an escalator which gave me hope. I was so confident this was the place. My journey was about to end....or was it?? Yes! No! Hollywood Patong Discoteque (please speak to Anant if you want to know what this club is like). It was chaotic. The nightclub was big and comparable with the likes of Metros Freo (only one story though), the drinks were good also, however, I wasn't sure how to proceed in this situation. The nightclub was packed and the ratio of women to guys was favourable. Some of the guys there were older and perhaps seedier; the women were predominantly Thai but with some Chinese and other south-east Asian tourists. I did consider staying here for a bit but I was confident that I wouldn't find the others here and I was having trouble fending off all the unwanted attention from the Thai women. I couldn't even have a drink by myself so I had to leave before I got myself into something too deep. I left and looked everywhere on Bangla Rd. I went down every single little side arcade and was man-handled by all the Thai Ladyboys. It is actually a little bit scary because there are so many of them and they grab you and try to force you to sit down but I managed to bust my way out of them and make it back to Bangla Rd.

Seduction without me :(

I'm not sure what the exact time was but I decided to quickly go back to the hotel and check for any signs of them. When I arrived back in the room and was disappointed to find no one, I decided to leave a note for them in case they were looking for me. If I was sober at this point I would have assessed the situation and narrowed the crew's current whereabouts to a predominantly Western nightclub, which was close and I had yet to find. But because I was drunk I decided to repeat my previous actions and continue to look in the clubs I already had been in. I did this probably twice more, going into Banana Bar, Whiteroom & Hollywood; having a drink and then moving on. At the end of each cycle I would come back to the hotel room and check for any reply to my letter.

About 230AM
After about my third or possibly fourth cycle, I was shocked to find two of our three beds occupied in our room. There were no ladies in the beds which also surprised me (ladies as in love interests, not prostitutes or similar).
"Bird is that you?"
"yeah"
"Where the f*ck were you guys?? Did you read my note and find the gimp hat I left for you?? Where are the others??"
"Jnr is sitting with some Russian  on a wall at the beach, I have no idea where Ant is."
Bird and Sully were both tired and a bit perturbed and did not look they were keen to get up and join my search for the other two, so I left and went solo.

I was still very surprised about Jnr's current status and was also still very keen to see if there was a lovely woman out there for myself. My standards were lowering with every passing minute so I trekked on down to the beach to see if I could pull off a miracle and find at least one of the two. The beach was dodgy: filled with locals trying to sell you drugs, fireworks and their sisters, prostitutes, and also lots of young, drunken revellers like myself. The view from the beach was amazing: it is a very long stretch of coast (a couple of kms) with white sand, enclosed at both ends with land coming out at both ends (I don't know what you call it, a bay??). The moon was also very bright, it just felt so amazing. I searched all through the beach without even a sign of JC "the Smooth Operator", I came to some limestone wall at the end so I followed it up away from the water. As I looked up about 40 metres in front of me was a group of drunken people centered around this skinny, young woman and taller more muscular guy, I made my way towards them as they all turned and stared at me.

"Do you know this guy (dodgy russian accent)?"
".....Holy Shit! Dutch, WTF?!?"
LOL! I had finally found Jnr and he was with a young, attractive Russian woman. He was shocked that the dodgy looking guy walking out from the shadows was actually me. The first time we had seen each other in about 5-6 hours. I tried to talk to Jnr but he was clearly more interested in his new friend, Evgenia. I talked to their Russian friends, they were nice, tried to make headway with one of Evgenia's friends but seems she was more interested in conversation than anything else - I was disappointed. Eventually the Russians left for their hotel as I headed back to Bangla Rd to find the remaining member of our group.

330 - 4AM
I looked everywhere for Sandy but no luck. Everyone was starting to head home so I decided to cut my losses and head home for some much needed rest. Phuket Beach Rd was fairly quiet now, as I looked up I noticed a couple walking in the same direction as me, about 15metres in front. Jnr...fuck! It was Jnr and the Russian, they already thought I was a bit creepy after I appeared by myself from the shadows on the beach, I didn't want to confirm their perceptions by following them back to the hotel. I had to keep hiding behind buildings and down alleyways so they wouldn't notice me following them. I hid behind one and this old lady started talking to me, then two ladyboys grabbed me, this was intense. Either get raped by Ladyboy's or creep the fuck out of Jnr and his Russian! I held for another 10 seconds or so but was forced to break free and sprint across the other side of the road.

I broke their strong man-like grips on my arms and just ran for it in my thongs, they were really strong and quick too. Everyone was watching. Jnr and the Russian, startled by all the commotion turned around to see what was going on.
"DUTCH???? ....Run Dutch they're gaining on you!"
They were so much faster than me running in thongs, they kept chasing me but luckily the crafty Dutchman who has been chased many-a-time, managed to get away. So I walked back to the hotel with Jnr and his female acquaintance (awkward) and then went to bed.

4-430AM
The door knocked.
"Knock, knock" (that's what a door knock sounds like).
I was expecting Noonty or possibly the hotel staff to complain to us for being drunken yobbos when we first arrived but this I was not expecting..... Jnr and Russian. Jnr was looking for something. Pretty sure Bird and Sully were pissed off for the disturbance.

5 MINUTES LATER
"Knock, knock."
......Noonty?? Hahaha it was the Punjabi Prince!
"My room is occupied so I don't really want to go in there right now."
"Do you wanna go for a walk?"
"Yes."
So I had finally rendezvoused with every single one of the team finally after 7 hours. Ant and I were still pretty pumped. Noonty told me about his crazy night as he had been drinking all night and had met some very interesting people. Basically the two of us went for a walk and ended up at the beach, drinking with a few rugby guys from QLD. They had a foam esky filled with ice and pre-mixed drinks (UDL's, Smirnoffs etc). We kept drinking and paying for fireworks as almost everyone in Patong had disappeared and headed off to sleep.

Punji enjoying a barrel

Eventually we called it a night at about 630 in the morning. I later found out that the four of them had spent most of the night at a nightclub at the top of Bangla Rd: it was called "Seduction". The irony was that I found a promo card in my wallet for this nightclub. We had all received one early on in the night but I had never connected the dots and never would have guessed that this was where the other four would have been. I learnt my lesson and the remaining seven nights (13? for the others), I spent at Seduction with Sull, Bird, Jnr and Noonty. These were all enjoyable nights and I will never forget them.

To be continued.

HH back in business

Europe!

The time has come to finally make the great journey to the continent where medieval stuff actually took place (swords and castles and stuff). As it's usually a bitch to get this sort of event organised, I thought I'd get proceeding rolling. So far, by the sounds of thing, we've already had a few disappointing responses from members of the hills community, with Jim's excuse quite obviously being a cover up for him basically being married and finding that the whip has a very sharp sting. That leaves a small number of possible candidates from the HillsHood section of society who are keen and interested in this upcoming adventure. I for one am dead keen to get this locked in, as it will give me something to look forward to while driving haul trucks (surely one of the world's most boring jobs, just ask Trav) as well as allowing plenty of time for my leave to be booked in for, which is critical for getting time off it seems. Trav has also expressed a high level of interest, and while I can never be sure with Diji, it appears he is also planning to hop along for the ride. This leaves space for possible inclusions such as Lodge, who has also expressed an interest in travelling to the Northern Hemisphere once again.

Anyway, I have been doing a fair bit of research into the subject, and while I can't see the future, I believe that the dates I have used for scoping and costing are pretty decent, as they are during the uni break and mean that I only have to take 1 swing off to achieve the time outlined below.

Anyway we shall start off with flights, as they are a pretty critical part of the trip. Currently the best flights are with Malaysian airlines, which from memory aren't too bad an airline. The total cost for flights to London and back ends up being just under $1800 which is outlined below. The dates I have selected are mostly to allow myself to get back from site, sleep and pack before departing, while also arriving in London at the start of a day, which saves on a night's accommodation. The return trip is also from London, and gets back to Perth at 3pm on the Tuesday.

 

There are obviously other options with flights, like air Asia, which can be quite cheap if you buy your tickets in segments, although there isn't as much certainty about the flight times, losing baggage and you don't get meals or luggage included in the flight costs. In saying that, air Asia's premium class have beds and all the perks of the standard airlines first class at a similar cost to that of flying Qantas ($2000). I have looked at this as it would be good to get some sleep done on the flight, but the days which air Asia fly to Paris are not very suited to the dates I was looking at.

Anyway, onto the next topic, the holiday itself….

I propose we undertake a Contiki, as this takes care of all the accommodation and a lot of meals and travel for the trip. It will also stick us with other young'uns to make sure we aren't trying to kill each other by the end of the trip. Below is the dates and costs of one of the Contiki's which I feel would be rather swell. http://contiki.com.au/tours/119-european-impressions/itinerary

The price shown above can be reduced by around 200 bucks if we book before the 23^rd of December this year, and if the general consensus is to change the dates, Cathay pacific are offering a deal up until the 23^rd of December for flights until the 18^th of June to be 1689 return from Perth.

Anyway the Contiki trip is up for debate, both where it goes, how long to do it for, and there are other things like bus about, which gives you a bit more freedom for where you go which I haven't had a good look at yet.

Using the 18 day contiki as a guide, there is a 2-3 day gap in the UK at the start, and 3 days at the end, which can be used for a bit relaxation. Alternately we could choose a different Contiki and spend a few days in the Greek islands before heading home.

 

Hills Hood - The End?

The title pretty much sums up this post; Hills Hood is done. Only a few noble members of the illustrious Hills Hood street gang even view this site, let alone contribute to it. What was once a thriving and lively online community, is a now a dull and uneventful snapshot of what used to be. This hurts me deeply, as I was a proud Hood representative who felt honoured to be a part of such a great group of talented individuals (and animal). The demise of the Hills Hood has been a gradual process. I have tried often to keep the HH spirit alive but it seems my efforts have fallen on deaf ears. I see no point in living out this fantasy any longer. HILLS HOOD IS DONE!

Many of the Hills Hood originals now have romantic interests in their lives. Such a committment seems too overpowering for even the sacred waters of Hidden Creek to withstand. Whether or not Wedge will take place in a couple of weeks is irrelevant. It is obvious, through the passage of time, that the fire which once burned within everyone of us, and bound us together, has burnt out. This is the end of Hills Hood. Goodbye and God bless.

Yours sincerely,
Dutch (Former Hood boy)

Spring + Hidden Creek = Girls (Kalgoorlie Cup special)

I hate Winter so thank fuck it's nearly over! Only 12 more days of this shit left after today, then it's Spring, and Kal Cup time. So all the good shit starts once Winter finishes i.e. Kal Cup, Thailand, Wedge, Hidden Creek, good weather etc. Hidden Creek season pretty much coincides with the end of Winter; some people even refer to Spring as HCS (Hidden Creek Season). I know I do, at least I will now.

So Kalgoorlie Cup '10 is on September the 18th, it's going to be a big weekend for all parties involved. Last year Goat only saw a couple of hours of sunlight during the eventful weekend, the poor kid had come down with Bear-itis. It's a tragic disease which affects all of us at one stage or another. Anyway, I doubt that our favourite farm animal will come down with the virus anytime soon, and he is very keen to make up for last year's lack of activity. Good on ya bro.

Kalgoorlie Cup always makes for a very messy, loose weekend; this year will be no exception. Even more so because there is going to be 20 - 30 people staying in the one house (maybe it's two). The drive there and back will be shit, Bird will be DJ-ing and Jim will be eating dirty, seafood subs which will make for an interesting combination. One of the major talking points of this year's trip has been Goat and his recent pimpage and anti-Jewness. Will he continue this carefree and reckless trend? I think so. I am really look forward to seeing Goat and the crew in action, in a town where anything goes...except for stealing kegs, that is a no-no! However, if Trav does go down that path once again, it must be filmed. Junior has also pulled out due to work commitments.



I am driving down on Thursday, Bird has shotgun, Jim has a guaranteed spot if he wants. Goat can come if he brings a girl.

Curtin Oktoberfest has been cancelled, I am really pissed off. Very controversial. We will have to find a proxy to fill in for this absence on the calendar.

Hidden Creek AGM is coming up again, probably sometime after Kal Cup when everyone is present. Export will be provided, strippers possibly.

Thailand is next on the agenda in late October. This will be very, insanely crazy especially the first night! Mum has warned me about the men whom look like ladies, this is a very frightening reality. So no Thai girls PERIOD.

Wedge is going to happen towards the end of the year and this one is going to be a bigg'un.
Definites:
- Myself
- Trav
- Bird
- Goat (semi-Jew, but no longer Jew)
- Lodge
- Jim
- Biggles

Likelys:
- Jane
- Laura

Possibles:
- Junior (for the tenth time)
- Ant
- Beck
- John (could be anyone)




Pretty much the only reason I go to Wedge.




Wedge only takes like 25 minutes to get to from Lancelin now, so no more random two hour bush-bashing expeditions.

The Rise and Rise of the 'Ultra Pimp'

So it is well overdue for a blog on the hillshood site. Some members are letting their fellow members down with false promises of blogs since February. Not naming any names... T-man. This blog chronicles the rise of a certain member, from the elegantly termed ‘Oompa Loompas’ to the equally elegant term ‘Ultra Pimp’ status.

Years and years ago in what seems like a distant past, a young man (with a particularly red neck) was gallivanting around the beautiful hub of Perth, Northbridge. He was a man that had yet acquired the taste of a good woman. He was on the prowl searching for a woman who would be up to the challenge. What he didn’t know was that he’d get more than he bargained for. He stumbled across the striking Deen dance floor and seemed to have made a connection with a particular girl. It was one for the ages, a momentous ‘eye f*****g’, his eyes were nearly popping out of his head.

She was moving: check, she was drunk: check, she has breasts: check. All three of the prerequisites were well and truly covered. So he casually moved closer in for a more detailed inspection. She notices this, and also moves closer. Before he knows it their hands are all over each other, grinding with the disregard of a rugby league player. He eventually ends up passionately, and intimately embracing her and all of her ‘inner’ beauty (it had to be inner because it sure wasn’t outer). While this is happening we all stand in disbelief about what has happened in what seemed like 2 seconds. A member of the illustrious Hillshood had reached new lows, hit rock bottom. We concluded that we would let it pass this time, but if it happened again we would be obliged to hold an intervention. Subsequently it would happen numerous times since. We never got around to that intervention… The most interesting case nearly ended up in a ‘St. Kilda’ like rape with an indigenous fellow by the stylish name of Garry.

Well enough about the past, as they say you learn from failures rather than success. In that case he’s a very wise man. I for one cannot judge as I’ve had similar if not a worse case of the deteriorative, degenerate disease of ‘Oompa Loompitice,’ I’m quite Rusty. Moving on a few years, in a distant mining town about 600.88 kms from Perth, he has begun dating a rather attractive young lady. This came out of nowhere cause he met her on the Garry night so what he did to impress her beats me and most probably himself. One thing that is certain once he got this female, he was going to do everything in his power to keep her thus maintain his new found status of ‘Ultra Pimp’. Examples of this are; going on a romantic getaway instead of seeing Thai ladies shoot ping pong balls out of a certain orifice (similar to Senior), no longer ‘JJI’; he saves himself for the intimate moment when the sheets are pulled over (similar to a particular furry farm animal), and finally showing his extremely brute, masculine side by getting reported in footy. What he’s doing seems to be working because he is now the envy of all of the fellow members. I myself look up to him and often find myself thinking ‘what would he do’. I ask for tips but he says ‘it just comes natural’ thus leaving me feeling despondent. But I also know that I cannot compare myself to such an ‘Ultra Pimp,’ levels of this magnitude of pimpage have only ever been achieved before by Wilt Chamberlain and Jeff Brown; two gods of the Pimp game. I’ve included a before and after pic below as evidence to prove the levels of improvement.

Before:

After:

I’ll conclude by saying, if she says she's into bondage, don't show her your financial portfolio, God Bless and Good Luck.

Cherry Popped

So the time has come for me to get my cherry popped… finally. This is a very special time in everyone’s life, especially mine, and I am very grateful to all of my now fellow members who have taken it slow and gentle with me. They made this a special time and I’ll never forget my first time. I am extremely grateful they weren’t rough and didn’t force anything upon me. Though having said this I am the one who started the catch phrase down south that practically everything means yes… If you don’t know what I’m talking about ask Laura, she loved it! Furthermore if you don’t know what I’m doing here I’m writing my first blog. I must admit I am excited by the prospect of joining the highly credentialed and illustrious authors of hillshood.

I’ve been brainstorming ideas about what to write and the first thing that came to my mind, other than boobs of course, was footy. So the footy season has just started for the boys and me. Though I haven’t really been attending due to part laziness and part studying aka facebook. All teams had comprehensive wins on the weekend and this was due in no small part to junior and Dutch. There have been some murmurings in the footy world that Dutch was going to step up this year and maybe even get out of the defensive fifty once the whole season, but to just flat out star like he did, I don’t know anyone who could’ve predicted that. It is probably due to his highly dedicated and motivated lifestyle whereby he works at nights and jji several times during the day. Maybe he’s stumbled upon a secret formula for improved endurance or maybe he’s just much lighter and aerodynamic because his balls are like raisins nobody knows. Either way he’s in for a big year and possibly be the first Dutchman ever drafted. As for myself Ill probably turn up occasionally do a few hammies, actually lose fitness throughout the year, and all in all just waste talent. The cougars look like they’ll be in for another big season and there’ll be updates throughout the season.

The next topic to discuss is uni. This is only to vent my anger at the concept of uni. It is like a devils lair minus the whips and cool dominatrix stuff (face it we all want to try a little bit of that). The place has worn me down; guess five and a half years will do that to you. Though having said that I finish in two months, which I cannot wait for! Once I’ve finished uni my days will no doubt be filled with mundane days at work, watching unimaginable amounts of illicit material and just being a guy. To me this sounds like a dream, uni is the only life I’ve known since finishing high school. From what I’ve heard from the now working class chaps, working gives you a high amount of freedom and independence which I cannot wait to experience for myself. Now as you all know I go to uni with Dutch, well we never go but we are enrolled in the same classes, I’m concerned for his wellbeing after I have graduated. He has another semester to complete after I do, but having said that he’ll probably attend and excel as I’m probably a bad influence. As evidenced by me bringing my laptop to one of our lectures recently and proceeding to play Asian porn on it, funnily enough the surrounded by a classroom full of asians and slummys. Furthermore I was looking up toppies for Mandurah all via the use of Curtin’s internet, bout the only good thing at uni.

In an exciting new twist for the hillshood, some members have been recently getting involved with the opposite sex. This has led me to be excited and to start thinking that maybe our group is finally turning into the womanising group I imagined when I first met my fellows members. Each member has the ability to pimp they just don’t know it, as evidenced below. I recently made a gentleman’s agreement with an unnamed member who lives in Kalgoorlie, that if he were to be successful in making a move on a rather attractive female, I myself would finally have to make a move on miss G. I think this gentleman’s agreement is beneficial to both parties as, she obviously wants it, and I myself have grown fond of the possibility of intimacy again (not forced this time). The aforementioned member has assured me he’s making progress and she is a nice girl which I’m thoroughly happy with due to my past failings in that area. The member has also informed me that a sheets incident isn’t far off and consequently is extremely excited and anxious. Additionally I do wish I had included an unspecified member in this agreement as he has been pussyfooting around for what seems like months now with also a rather attractive female. We all wish he’d make a move and I’m sure she does too, cause really who doesn’t want their clog tickled every now and then. Take my advice and go for it, you’ll regret it if you don’t at least get a bit of a fondle. Furthermore the infamous farm animal has been chatting to a few babes recently. This is a huge step forward for a man whose mannerisms when concerned with the opposite sex are extremely similar to Raj off The Big Bang Theory. He has been informing them of his impending purchase of a house and they seem impressed with this. I don’t know if owing a house suggests you are like a donkey down there but it seems to attract the babes.

Finally Ill wrap my first blog up with some recent news that I and senior currie will be travelling to the USA at the end of the year. I am thoroughly excited as I hear the fairer sex over there love Australians’ chipolatas. This will be a great time and I really just hope I don’t get arrested. Though I do imagine I’ll probably have to further increase my already high amount of times I visit the doctor.
God bless