Cherry Popped

So the time has come for me to get my cherry popped… finally. This is a very special time in everyone’s life, especially mine, and I am very grateful to all of my now fellow members who have taken it slow and gentle with me. They made this a special time and I’ll never forget my first time. I am extremely grateful they weren’t rough and didn’t force anything upon me. Though having said this I am the one who started the catch phrase down south that practically everything means yes… If you don’t know what I’m talking about ask Laura, she loved it! Furthermore if you don’t know what I’m doing here I’m writing my first blog. I must admit I am excited by the prospect of joining the highly credentialed and illustrious authors of hillshood.

I’ve been brainstorming ideas about what to write and the first thing that came to my mind, other than boobs of course, was footy. So the footy season has just started for the boys and me. Though I haven’t really been attending due to part laziness and part studying aka facebook. All teams had comprehensive wins on the weekend and this was due in no small part to junior and Dutch. There have been some murmurings in the footy world that Dutch was going to step up this year and maybe even get out of the defensive fifty once the whole season, but to just flat out star like he did, I don’t know anyone who could’ve predicted that. It is probably due to his highly dedicated and motivated lifestyle whereby he works at nights and jji several times during the day. Maybe he’s stumbled upon a secret formula for improved endurance or maybe he’s just much lighter and aerodynamic because his balls are like raisins nobody knows. Either way he’s in for a big year and possibly be the first Dutchman ever drafted. As for myself Ill probably turn up occasionally do a few hammies, actually lose fitness throughout the year, and all in all just waste talent. The cougars look like they’ll be in for another big season and there’ll be updates throughout the season.

The next topic to discuss is uni. This is only to vent my anger at the concept of uni. It is like a devils lair minus the whips and cool dominatrix stuff (face it we all want to try a little bit of that). The place has worn me down; guess five and a half years will do that to you. Though having said that I finish in two months, which I cannot wait for! Once I’ve finished uni my days will no doubt be filled with mundane days at work, watching unimaginable amounts of illicit material and just being a guy. To me this sounds like a dream, uni is the only life I’ve known since finishing high school. From what I’ve heard from the now working class chaps, working gives you a high amount of freedom and independence which I cannot wait to experience for myself. Now as you all know I go to uni with Dutch, well we never go but we are enrolled in the same classes, I’m concerned for his wellbeing after I have graduated. He has another semester to complete after I do, but having said that he’ll probably attend and excel as I’m probably a bad influence. As evidenced by me bringing my laptop to one of our lectures recently and proceeding to play Asian porn on it, funnily enough the surrounded by a classroom full of asians and slummys. Furthermore I was looking up toppies for Mandurah all via the use of Curtin’s internet, bout the only good thing at uni.

In an exciting new twist for the hillshood, some members have been recently getting involved with the opposite sex. This has led me to be excited and to start thinking that maybe our group is finally turning into the womanising group I imagined when I first met my fellows members. Each member has the ability to pimp they just don’t know it, as evidenced below. I recently made a gentleman’s agreement with an unnamed member who lives in Kalgoorlie, that if he were to be successful in making a move on a rather attractive female, I myself would finally have to make a move on miss G. I think this gentleman’s agreement is beneficial to both parties as, she obviously wants it, and I myself have grown fond of the possibility of intimacy again (not forced this time). The aforementioned member has assured me he’s making progress and she is a nice girl which I’m thoroughly happy with due to my past failings in that area. The member has also informed me that a sheets incident isn’t far off and consequently is extremely excited and anxious. Additionally I do wish I had included an unspecified member in this agreement as he has been pussyfooting around for what seems like months now with also a rather attractive female. We all wish he’d make a move and I’m sure she does too, cause really who doesn’t want their clog tickled every now and then. Take my advice and go for it, you’ll regret it if you don’t at least get a bit of a fondle. Furthermore the infamous farm animal has been chatting to a few babes recently. This is a huge step forward for a man whose mannerisms when concerned with the opposite sex are extremely similar to Raj off The Big Bang Theory. He has been informing them of his impending purchase of a house and they seem impressed with this. I don’t know if owing a house suggests you are like a donkey down there but it seems to attract the babes.

Finally Ill wrap my first blog up with some recent news that I and senior currie will be travelling to the USA at the end of the year. I am thoroughly excited as I hear the fairer sex over there love Australians’ chipolatas. This will be a great time and I really just hope I don’t get arrested. Though I do imagine I’ll probably have to further increase my already high amount of times I visit the doctor.
God bless

This Shit is Intense

I'm slightly disappointed with the little interest in this blog lately; Trav still hasn't finished his supposedly awesome Max Tucker-esque blog and no one else apart from Goat has even bothered to write one. Pretty gay! I am soo fucking bored right now it's not even funny anymore. It's pretty much just myself and Mum at home these days. I am still stacking shelves which is even worse than it was before, mainly because two of the guys who are around my age just left. So it's basically down to myself and two other guys, then all the older girls and Connie....Depressing.

This is how boring work gets

The only things I look forward to these days is literally Saturdays where I have footy and also going out and getting smashed on Saturday nights. Everyday in between is just another day of the same old shit....Fridays are okay though, yeah I like Fridays. Sunday nights at work used to be fun because all four of us 'Awesome Supervisors' were on and we would literally just fuck around and do nothing. One thing I enjoy about work however, I, being a Supervisor and all, am one of three nightfill people to have the key and access code to the drinks garage across the road from work. I go there every night with one of both of the other two nightfill guys, and just sit there fucking around on my phone, just talking and bitching about the store for half an hour to an hour. Probably the only reason I can keep working there without getting too angry and quitting is coz I can do whatever I want (I generally choose to do nothing) and get away with it because I'm a Supervisor. Pretty sure this is exactly what I'm gonna do tonight, it is good having an iPhone.

#Neale

So yeah, back to what I was saying before. Life at home has been so unbelievably boring ever since my bro moved out of home. I've had a couple of phases where I haven't been going to bed til like 4-5am every morning, or if I go earlier I can't sleep anyway. Last phase like this probably ended Dec/Jan this year, whereby I would be talking to Trav til at least 3am every night, then after I'd still be awake so I'd go for a run or something or walk through the bush and go on reconnaissance missions through people's properties. It was so messed up and ridiculously boring. FUCK IT WAS BORING!!! Anyway, I started sleeping in the Games room during the end of Feb and ever since then I have been going to bed round 1am or so. I've since taken over the Games room, it's just better...I watch movies nd shit to keep me entertained then go to bed.

My parents are pretty keen to move; probably to somewhere near Fremantle. It's more my Mum; I think she must be getting bored too. But yeah, it looks like they want to move soon, like end of the year maybe. Therefore, I have made my mind up that I am going to move out around that time as well. I also plan to get a proper job around this time too. I wanna move relatively close to the city...anywhere past Leach Hwy would be great. Biggles just moved out, Goat just bought a house and plans to move out, Bird also wants to move out...Fuck I want to get out of here! Haha (jokes).

Fuck Good Friday was boring, easily the boringest day of the year so far. I had plans but they fell through coz of a little reciprocated anger. Been playing a little bit of golf lately, it's good, it keeps me occupied. I haven't done much uni work lately, probably coz I would rather think about going out drinking and girls. Uni can be a little boring. It's not really that hard either.









This weekend should be alright. Should be going out with the sandwich featuring Bird and getting drunk. This weekend is going to be a General Hunt...which is also good.