To Catch A Predator

To continue with the theme from my previous blog of no time to do my thesis, i've just spent the last 8 hours creating a video for NBC's Dateline. Hope you all enjoy.

Wedge n other crazy stuff

In follow up from diji's recent AGM summary, I felt it would be good to get every1 pumped about wedge again. Diji's as pumped as ever, and is even keen to share a bed with Banyard if thats what it takes for this wedge trip to occur. Seeing this wedge trip could quite possibly be the last (lets hope not), it is important that we get a full contingent up there - I'm looking at you Bird and Sparrow! After doing some quick calculations, we've worked out that we will have a likely of 12 spaces available, although 10 is probably the ideal number for three cars. I reckon there are about 8 beds, with 3 being doubles, which caters for the biggles-jane and lodge-beck combos. Confirmed guests are diji, dark diji, jism, trav and myself, with main contenders for the remaining positions coming in the form of the previously mentioned couples, bird and sparrow. If you're keen, or wanna confirm a placement, speak to the diji, as he is the main man this year.

If other news, I have 9 days to start and complete a thesis. And during these 9 days I will be traveling to and from Kalgoorlie twice, going to events such as the AusIMM Annual Dinner and Octoberfest and playing cricket on saturday. Maybe I should have started sooner.

Speaking of cricket, I crabbed it on the weekend, getting out for 5, which although being my highest score in b grade to date, was dismal seeing I was middling everything. Apart from that I think this could be the season where I finally score some serious runs, and score that elusive tonne.

A new family guy season has started recently and trav makes a guest appearance as quagmire. Also Peter turns jewish. Rather humerous.

Anyway I best get back to work, but be warned a new blog will be coming soon.

AGM Recap

The recent Hills Hood AGM was held on Saturday the 26th of September and was a successful meeting. An invitation was sent out to all Hills Hood hopefuls via facebook the night before. All but three attended.
Attendees:
From the Hills - Trav and Jism
From the Hood - Myself and Goat

Four members were present, therefore the quorum was met and the meeting was effective. There was only one item on the agenda; When should we go to Wedge. It was voted by a unanimous decision that Wedge should take place after GC<17, and sometime during the month of December.

This is the video that Trav 'MEANT' to send



PS. I am working on getting some more footage of Connie. I nearly got her to lash last Friday, causing her to call me a Bastard. Also, Connie does Karaoke LOL! I am going to try and get some footage of this also.

Not long....

Not long now until Summer, when life's stresses will disappear and the beer will flow freely. I am looking forward to spending the Summer in Perth after the last two have been spent slaving away at the bottom of a mine! However before Summer arrives there are the dreaded Uni assessments to complete. Thankfully I have no exams, although if Uni assignments were described in terms of mountains I think it'd be safe to say that I am confronted with Mt Everest. I have been avoiding conquering Mt Everest by reading stories of others misfortune at http://www.fmylife.com and watching videos of paedophiles being caught red handed. This video is an absolute classic the guy is my idol, he's caught trying to kiddy fiddle for the second time on national TV and all he has to say for himself is "ooops". If only we could all be so carefree!

As some of you might already be aware I have recently fallen in love with a beautiful, intelligent, blonde, European girl. You can see her here.

The Kalgoorlie Cup was a great weekend as already mentioned in the previous couple of posts. The city boys got a true taste of Kalgoorlie life with some ripper stories involving Emu Export, drunk Aboriginals and general disorderly behaviour. Diji was re-introduced to a girl that he'd met in Europe a couple of years back. Chances are he'll see her again next weekend, could this be some kind of sign? Could meeting the same person by chance in three different cities be a coincidence? I think not!

Extreme inebriation caused me to commit a stupid act. Funny at the time but in hindsight ridiculously stupid. If there turns out to be no consequences then I retract the "stupid act" statement however old Bill seems quite set on replacing the whole kitchen flooring and making somebody pay for it. Just got to play my cards right and I should be fine.

Anyway it was a pretty damn good weekend with stories that we'll have for the rest of our lives and the top dog even stating " Hillshood has never been stronger!"

Last weekend I ventured back to my homeland of Perth. The trip was long overdue as Kalgoorlie was beginning to get on my nerves and it was good to catch up with friends and family. Tim has died his hair and it didn't take long for the Bruno jokes to begin. Also met Tim's cougar girlfriend who seemed alright. Cougar stayed around for tea one night. I realized that chances are she uses my seat at the dinner table while I'm away so I made a dash to beat them to the table to secure my prized seat. However Mum had other ideas and tried to make me sit at the end of the table. Luckily Dad offered to sit in the shifty spot as "It's the best spot to watch the TV" otherwise I might be attending my Mum's funeral right now as opposed to writing this blog. I used to tease Scott about having his spot at the table stolen by Stewie's Mrs, now I realize it is no laughing matter. Under no circumstance should a man have to put up with his spot at the dinner table being stolen!

While in Perth I also made a couple of trips to the sacred site called Hidden Creek. As I rode my bike down the bush track I was taken back to my younger years when there wasn't so much stress, and life was simpler. Actually we were in the middle of TEE and had to choose which path our life would take so maybe it was just as stressful, but younger years none the less. On Friday night Scott and I made the trip to the sacred creek that divides the Hills from the Hood. After an absence of over 12 months it was good to return to the spiritual homeland. Now don't get me wrong, Hidden Creek is nothing special, it's an average creek at best but it represents more than seasonal rain running down a hill. It represents a longstanding friendship between a bunch of blokes from the Hills and a bunch of blokes from the hood. While at the creek Scott issued an invitation for fellow HH members to meet at the creek the following evening.

After drinking way too many beers while watching the Grand Final at Browny's we almost decided to cancel the inaugural Hillshood AGM. Jim and Goat convinced us to keep our date with destiny and again I jumped on my bike to ride down the mountain, only this time I was drunk like a skunk. I made it to the meeting destination without stacking it which was surprising and was soon joined by Goat and Diji who made their way up the hill from the slums. Jim, who had never been to the creek before found his way after getting some directions via mobile phone. Jim was impressed by this outback hideaway and quickly noticed the soul cleansing properties of the Hidden Creek water. A few beverages were consumed before sunset forced us to part ways. A combination of being drunk and also being too lazy to ride up the hill resulted in me deciding to hold onto Jim's car and get towed up the hill. Glad I wasn't run over or caught by the police! Oh well, lived to see another day..

Now I have my new 12 Mp camera I decided to take some pictures of the sacred site, the 4 Mp camera just wouldn't give the creek the justice it deserves. Enjoy

And I leave you with an artist's impression of what Goat looked like at 2 Pm at the Kalgoorlie Cup!

The revenge of the anti nerds

Gather round my children and let me tell you a glorious story about a perfect spring afternoon. It was in Kalgoorlie at the world famous Kalgoorlie Cup. The day started off well with everyone behaving sensibly before the piss was hit hard. The next few hours have been described below but the result of goat locking himself in his room and sleeping caused controversy. This meant he wasn't able to compete in the hills hood drinking competition at wherever we went that night. Long story short, Scott put up a gallant effort but with Trav carrying two empty kegs home (which he finished himself) the result was obvious. With hood wanting to hold their honour, the reigning cancer trophy champions decided that cricket was the way to try and earn back the respect which was lost in the old town of Kalgoorlie. So a challenge was set.

Fast forward a week and on the last Sunday in September, the cancer trophy was placed on the line again. The signs were looking good for the hood when before the game, the goat pulled off 2 awesome shots while taking on trav in tennis, although some would say they were lucky. But that was where the day started going bad. First up they lost the toss and got put into bat on a challenging wicket. Over the next 50 overs and 7 hours, some of the greatest tennis court cricket was played with some of the most solid defensive techniques in place. These defense methods were mainly the block the ball with your body if its on the stumps showing the true courage of all participants. But there could be only one winner. With the hood having set the hills 8 runs to win off the last innings.

The hills quickly lost their first wicked leaving the run chase in a precarious position. But the true heart shown by their members got them closer and closer to the target. Eventually only one run was needed for the win. As continual flesh counts occurred, the battered and bruised hills members chose to end it with a magnificent glide between bat and pad straight into the ground and promptly ran through for the tight single. The goat who was fielding too close did not have enough time to react as trav ran the single quicker than usain bolt could have and made it home comfortably prompting massive celebrations in the region. Immediately there were complaints from a certain hood member that the run out was actually out but he got shut down.

So that is the glorious story of how the hills reinforced the losing attitude of the hood. I'm pretty sure now the hood have no titles but challenges will be expected. Not in drinking though. They got no hope. I see the only option for them is to retire and bring in the new generation of hood members. Rat girl, that trashy pregnant 14 year old, the petrol sniffers and the fellas from just round the corner. The hills wishes these members good luck

Kalgoorlie Cup '09

12 months after deciding against the 6 hour laborious trip east to the wife-beater and export capital of Western Australia, Kalgoorlie, we decided that the long journey was worth it if it meant we would get a chance to see the infamous 'Creep' move performed by Goat.

The trip was very long and very boring but Bird kept the crew happy with his retro 90s remixes. Jism made an early statement by downing a 12-inch monster seafood sub in Merriden, very controversial. As Jism was still finishing his super-sub we sped past a cop car which did a U-turn and turned on the sirens. I thought I was fucked but luckily the cops couldn't catch us and pulled over the 4wd behind which was also
speeding.

When we did finally arrive in K-Goorlie we followed Goat's directions and ended up nowhere near Agricola College.
"Turn left at the 3rd traffic lights" Goat.
There's like four traffic lights in the whole town and you still can't even get it right Goat! I guess we should just be happy that he wasn't asleep like the rest of the weekend haha! We all went to subway on the way because Goat had promised to cook us dinner which we were very skeptical about, it was surprisingly decent.

We went out soon after Goat's feast to check out the town. It was pretty packed and we were all surprised to see decent girls out. Funniest shit when all Goat and Trav's uni mates commented on how shocked they were to see Goat out lol. We all got fairly smashed and headed from Judds to De Bernales, nearly got into a couple of fights along the way. Goat left soon after getting into DEBO's followed by Jim, we were all unhappy with Goat's performance so decided to give Goat a late night beatdown.


We got home pretty late after planning a low-key night, then went in for the kill at Goat's room. The Top Dog next door to Goat's was angry that we woke him up and threatened to sanction Trav, so Trav ran through the hallway screaming and shouting haha. Some other random shit happened, but you must understand Goat, that BRITTANY IS HOT!

FAST FORWARD


Saturday, woke up realised my car keys were gone. I was pretty drunk the night before and thought I must of just chucked them in the room somewhere, no big deal. Jim woke me up by throwing up right outside my window. I soon realised that my car had mine and Bird's sunnies which was annoying as fuck. KALGOORLIE CUP MOTHER FUCKER! Snuck a couple of flaskies in and hit the wine from the start, smashed that down pretty quick so Jim and I went back for some more.

30 MINUTES LATER

Jism and I come back with another couple of bottles of wine and find Goat smashed. WTF? I have not seen Goat drunk for soo long it was a surreal experience. We met some girls from the guild who were complaining about being woken up last night by some yobbos screaming and shouting outside their rooms LOL. The races were good, Bird raked in some decent money and re-ignited his TAB addiction. Goat supposedly
got kicked out and we pretty much didn't see him again that night apart from a BEATDOWN.



Goat locked himself in his room, closed the curtins, turned off the lights and passed out at 8pm. He woke up with 43 missed calls. This was definitely the most controversial and the worst form of the whole trip. We went out again that night without Goat, back to Judds and DEBOs, met up with Sneaky and her hot friend, Trav and Jism stayed out and ventured to the Palace (Kalgoorlie Paramount), I was chased by some coons. Called Goat up for like the 30th time (literally) and went up to his for some late night Zombie action.

We were smashing out the Zombies, had double lazer and everything when we heard this loud, metallic banging outside the room. The door opens and this huge keg of TEDs drops on the floor.
" Oii man I carried two Kegs back and gave one to this abbo in the park"
That's not even the funniest part! Before we left DEBOs, Sneaky and her friend repeatedly told us not to wake them up that night. Trav and I go into the kitchen right outside the common room where they were sleeping and Trav throws the keg up in the air, smashing into the concrete floor. It pretty much woke everyone in Agricola College up, Hi-Larious!



Next morning whilst I was playing Zombies with Goat, Jim wakes up, walks onto the balcony and throws up everywhere. Classic Jism. I was freaking out pretty badly Sunday morning because didn't know how the fuck we were going to get home without any car keys. Luckily a good Samaritan handed them into the Police Station. All in all it was a Fucking good weekend!

Other Funny Shit
- We went to the Police Station Saturday night after the races, asked if they had my keys, he said no, as we were walking off Trav throws a can of wine at their window followed by several rocks.
- Eddie Mabo talked to Trav for 15 minutes on how to pick up girls, how to cure cancer and some shit about sharks. He then preceded to walk inside Red Rooster and continue his conversation with T-Rav for another 10 awkward minutes. We saw him the next day in Boulder so Trav repeatedly beeped his horn and shout "Eyyy Bro" out the window.
- Goat, Goat, Goat...for shame